The following article is in response to a popular message board trend about complaining about dead beat daddies and child support dependence. Feel free to reply with your reactions and watch the video too.
5 Reasons You Should Ignore Your Deadbeat Baby Daddy and Bid Farewell to Child Support Dependence
Ever dream of finding the right way to forget about your deadbeat baby daddy, stop depending on unreliable child support, and start changing your life? Many single moms have actually done that. Most, however, never work through the daydream stage. Many lacked the desire to research, learn, and put a plan in motion, so all they do is dream, whine, and complain about how he’s a deadbeat.
So what is the positive impact of letting go? The negatives were covered all right, but why not consider the positives? Before we let the negatives rule, the positives deserve a fair hearing.
Let’s examine 5 positive reasons in favor of attempting to forget about your deadbeat baby daddy and inadequate child support to see those that ring true.
1. He’s proven he doesn’t want to be a part of the life of you and your child.
I completely understand your rationale in thinking you had something special at one time, after all you had a baby together. I agree that that’s a rather valid objection, but please consider, if he hasn’t paid one red cent (or barely $100 a year) since the day the baby was born, he’s not interested in being a part of your lives. And moreover, you will need to consider you might be better off without him.
2. He’s probably more interested in the next conquest than raising a child with you.
The leading reason behind that is he’s too immature to want to be a parent. And also afraid of any type of real responsibility.
3. Your anger and constant nagging about his inability to be a real man keep him running away from you and his responsibility.
Plus perhaps your habit of broadcasting his failures to your girlfriends and the rest of the world.!
4. You are giving him control of your life every second you remain angry at him.
Anger is a fuel for controlling people. The more you allow your anger towards him to boil in your heart the more you give up control of your life.
5. You can create a better life for you and your child.
When you take the focus off of him and make plans for financial security because of your own efforts you can create an amazing life for your family. You have so much more power when you are focused on the possibilities instead of the problems
What will you do now?
After you have had a chance to go over the reasons and think about them, you’ll find that a top notch case can be made in favor of forgetting about your deadbeat baby daddy and moving on with your life.
Just think about it. Perhaps you really, in all seriousness, should forget fighting tooth and nail for him to be a father and sending money to help support your child.
As soon as you examine each of the reasons and evaluate them, you will have to admit that a very compelling case can be made for starting to consider how you can forget about your deadbeat baby daddy and create drama-free life with all the trimmings.
So maybe, just maybe, you really should forget about depending on child support from a man who’s proven he doesn’t want to be responsible for taking care of his child.
This is just my two cents worth. It’s heartbreaking to see so many single mom struggle with this issue. The bottom line is it’s time to take control of our lives and destiny.
It’s fall and school is starting back again. I’ve seen moms running around getting back to schools supplies and new clothes to prepare their kids for the big first day. I can’t help but wonder are they preparing their precious ones for the bullies that lurk in the hallways and behind the school buses?
I saw a story on Facebook last month of a heartbroken mother whose son killed himself after bullies told him his life wasn’t worth living. My heart went out to the mother as I listened to her tearful plea to other mothers. I felt a little judgy of her because I felt she could have done more.
In reality, I suppose she did all she felt she could do. She went to the school to talk to the principal, she went to the superintendent and the school board. She asked that they move her son to a new school. She did all that but her son still was harassed, beat-up, and basically stalked online and on his phone. The bullies told him repeatedly to kill himself until one day he did.
I felt judgy because I felt his parents didn’t do all they could’ve done for their son. You see, I’m a mama bear and will fight anyone who hurts my kids. I am the kind of mother who will go to drastic measures to ensure their safety from other kids, other parents, the teacher, the principal, and anyone who intentionally harms them. I’m that mama who will go toe to toe with the biggest and baddest bully whether it’s in the classroom, the courtroom, or the boardroom. I don’t play. My 5’3” presence will be felt. That’s me; but then I had to remember that sometimes parents simply are not equipped to empower their children.
I was bullied as a child on the playground by peers and by kids in my extended family, but I learned how to stand up for myself and have never had a problem with it since that time. As a mom I was able to help my daughter deal with bullying by teaching her self-esteem comes from within. I taught her that others have no right to touch her without expecting consequences and how to give people the stare-down, daggers-in-the-eye look. No children were harmed with this strategy, of course. As a result of my empowerment training, she learned to carry herself in a confident manner so she was not a target. She reminded me that I told her never to come home beat up without at least making sure the other person felt her licks.
I believe parents who are confident raise confident children. On the flip side, parents who were bullied often have children who get bullied if they never healed and/or learned how to be confident. Children take their cues from their parents and unfortunately they may be bullied at school too.
Parents have to empower their children to feel strong and capable of going through school and life without antagonism from bullies. Adults get bullied in the workplace, the PTA, and in the home. Coping strategies start from within and it’s only after a child is strong internally that other tactics like self-defense, martial arts, etc. can work effectively.
I’m a mother of a special needs teen son who is on the Autism Spectrum. He has been homeschooled since 5th grade but insists on going to school to finish out his high school years. Of course, I am concerned about bullying because he is “different”.
To prepare him I’ve given him tips to deal with kids who may decide that his differences deserve abuse, mistreatment, and bullying. I’ve empowered him to:
Stand up for himself if provoked.
Walk away if confronted.
Face the issue if necessary and
Finish any fight that anyone starts with him.
Some parents may think that is too radical because it advocates violence. I respond by saying that if I do not empower my child then who will? I helped my adult daughter through the struggles of middle and high school bully-free. My son will do the same.
So what should a mom do to empower their child? Here are my 10 tips for parents to bully-proof their kids:
Find the courage inside yourself as a parent and tap into your own self-worth. Kids model what you do vs. what you say.
2. Teach yourself and them to practice the Superhero Pose to build and help feel confidence. Stand with feet apart.Hands on lower waist. Back straight. Head held high. Cape is optional.
3. Allow (even encourage) them to fight backif they are shoved, hit, or punched. Teach them that no one has the right to put their hands on them. This teaches self-respect.
4. Reduce access to social media or monitor closely especially if you suspect bullying. Do the same with cell phones and require that phone numbers not be given out. Change the number if harassment or cyberbullying of any kind begins.
5. Come out of the fantasy world and live in the reality that not everyone has the same supportive and happy environment as your home. Some kids are sad, mad, and miserable and want other kids to be a part of that misery.
What to Teach your kids about bullies::
Some kids are being bullied at home so they bully others. Hurt people hurt people.
Some kids feel small and inferior at home so they want to feel superior and in control at school.
Some kids have parents that bully them so they bully kids that are different or look smaller.
Sometimes a bully will challenge them to see if they are tough/confident to stand up for themselves.
Whiners get bullied so either remain silent and look them in the eye or speak clearly while looking them in the eye.
6. Teach your kids that their body language will either attract or repel a bully. Show them to walk tall, look people in the eye and to speak up clearly, loudly, and with boldness.
7. Practice or role play at home with your kids how to stand up for themselves if a bully confronts them.
8. Check your fears at the door and don’t project them onto your children. Your children feel your feelings because their intuition is strong. They know when you feel helpless, fearful, depressed, or angry in the same way they know when you are confident, happy, and feeling strong.
9. Pray for and with your child and teach them the scripture, “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might” Ephesians 6:10. If you don’t believe in prayer teach them positive affirmations.
10. Teach your child that compassion and kindness go further than being nice and non-confrontational. A kid with a cause (defending the weak) will learn compassion/ kindness is also strength.
A friend on Facebook shared that her daughter was hurt because the kids did not want to play with her. She felt left out and rejected. I share the following:
I hope it helps you empower your child to become a champion on the playground and have an amazing new school year!
You’ve heard the stories about how people went from rags to riches. Well, this is not exactly that kind of story, but it is my true story of how I went from making minimum wage ($6.25/hr) to 6-figures. It took some time to accomplish this so hooray for me. Fortunately for you, if you are just starting your journey of single motherhood you can cut the learning curve by a few years.
Here is the first part of the story and the first step for you on the path to greater wealth, health, and happiness for your and your family. It doesn’t matter how broke you feel, how bummed out your bank account looks, or how screwed up everything feels right now. If you take the time to clear the cobwebs and a few dollars to invest in yourself you can be making six-figures in half the time I did (or better).
To hear the rest of the story and exact technique I used to move from mediocre minimum wage to a sexy six-figure income keep reading.
I’ve created a masterclass for you to sit in on from the comfort of your home.
You don’t have to worry about getting a sitter, finding a parking space, or struggling through hours of textbooks or homework.
I give you everything you need to begin your journey toward successfully changing the direction of your life so you can start making more money than you ever made before.
The only thing holding you back is maybe fear and the only person holding you back, is you.
Here are the details about the Masterclass
What you’ll learn:
My mindset and decision-making process for going from minimum wage to six-figures
How to shift your money mindset
How to create a money master plan
Seven Steps to Success
Class Start Date:
Anytime (If you enroll by June 7, 2017, you will receive 50% off the course)
What You Will Get:
Lifetime access to the class
Updated information and modules
Secure Discussion Forum
Access to the brand new Six-Figure Single Mom Facebook Group
Bonus Expert Interviews
Discounts on other classes
This masterclass is a small investment of $49 but the results you will get if you take action and copy my process will return you that money 100 times over!
Think about what you can do with that money:
Move into a better home and neighborhood instead of being afraid to walk from your car to apartment because of the riff-raff
Drive a better car instead of worrying the old car is going to break down on you
Send the kids to better schools instead of being frustrated they are around bad influences or getting sub-par education
Take a vacation or multiple vacations a year
Open a real savings account instead of relying on the change jar
Start a business to put even more money away for college or to finally work for yourself
Pay for all your child’s favorite activities instead of making excuses for why they can’t get involved
Never worry about paying the bills in full every month instead of making payment arrangements or robbing Peter to pay Paul
Go to the movies and buy popcorn, drinks, and candy instead of waiting until it comes out on DVD
There are so many things you can do with more money. I’ve only named a few that I’ve personally experienced since I’ve started bringing in more income.
Are these reasons enough for you to enroll in the course? if you are on the fence just look into the faces of your kids and let them be your motivation.
Remember, if you enroll by June 7 you will get 50% off the enrollment fee. Instead of paying $49 you will only pay $24.50 when you enter coupon code 50off. Don’t wait because on June 8 the price will return to $49.
For homeowners around the world, the onset of springtime can only mean one thing: more work. With warm weather and longer days approaching fast, the desire to cultivate a cleaner living space and discard excess junk begins to spread.
Last spring, I visited an old friend at her house in Maine. Spring was here at last, and this change in season had been reflected in my friend’s immaculate South Portland home. What stuck out most to me were her carpets. Despite living in a semi-remote neighborhood, surrounded by plenty of natural beauty, her carpets were a spotless, shining shade of white. I asked her about her secret, and while she gave me some indispensible advice, her biggest cleaning mantra was alarmingly simple: be consistent.
When she told me ‘be consistent,’ she meant that the coming-on of spring shouldn’t be the only time you clean your carpet during the year. The most cleaning gets done, she said, in the day-to-day. Removing dust on a regular basis – through regular, consistent vacuuming – will prevent it from building up. She also told me to keep a consistent attitude about cleaning – be consistently proactive and consistently excited about cleaning. “If you’re not,” she told me, “procrastination will take over.”
She also advised I be consistently preventative. “Prevention is so important to maintaining a clean carpet,” she said. If your home isn’t equipped for dirt and grime prevention, there’s no better time to equip it than during spring cleaning. She suggests placing a shoe rack and welcome mat in the front of your home, perhaps in the foyer if your home has one, in order to inhibit the spread of dirt through your home. By having your family and all guests take off their shoes before stepping onto the carpet, you will make the inevitable task of cleaning your carpets much easier on yourself. If you have a dog or outdoor cat, we recommend keeping a towel by each of your home’s entrances, so you can use it to wipe down their paws when they come in from outside.
My friend recommended figuring out what works for you during spring cleaning and sticking to that, each and every year. As she said, be consistent. Create a routine that you know works. Personally, I like to wait until the very end of spring cleaning, after I’m done with the rest of my home’s various parts, until I begin working on the carpets.
Here are some more tips for spring carpet cleaning. Make sure to move furniture that’s sitting on your carpets when you clean and vacuum; these spots beneath couches and tables are often ignored.
Rent or buy a steam carpet cleaner, as it is the most effective way of deep cleaning your carpets. When you cause or notice a spill on your carpet, take action right away to prevent the stain from setting. Be consistent in acting immediately when you notice a stain or cause a spill. The longer you wait, the more the stain will set, and the harder it will be to eventually remove. Ultimately, it’s your job to pick a cleaning routine that works for both you and your home. No matter what you decide to include in your spring cleaning regiment, above all else, be consistent.
Do you need money on the side? Well getting your hands on a little bit more can be easy if you are willing to try new things and be a little industrious. Take a look at these great tips on how to do so.
If you type fast and have experience with transcribing audio, you’re probably able to make some cash on the side working for companies which provide transcriptions for hearing impaired people. There are many online job sites such as Elance and Odesk where you can find a variety of transcription job offers. If you want to get repeat work, you’ll need to write quickly and accurately, with proper spelling and grammar.
Do Affiliate Marketing
Affiliate marketing consists basically of promoting a third party’s services or products. You could post YouTube videos with links to products, or incorporate their promotional material in your blog, website or page. If you have a blog or page that has great content and constant traffic, you should check out websites such as Commission Junction for services and products which will allow you to connect.
If you have a small band with some sort of local following, you can expand your audience and make some cash on the side by recording an album and selling it online. You can use social media to get more people interested in your music and your act. This will probably easier and more successful than attempting to score a major label deal, particularly if your music isn’t particularly commercial or is not in one of the most popular genres.
Write An eBook
Are you talented or very knowledgeable in a certain niche? Do you have an inspiring or fascinating life story, or perhaps a story of overcoming adversity? Do you have a secret for doing a certain thing that many people could benefit from? If you answered yes to any of these questions, maybe you should write an eBook, and try your luck selling it at online retailers such as Amazon. You don’t need a publisher or literary agent – all you need is a compelling idea which people will want to read about.
Haven’t yet found an idea that suits your personality or skills? Keep reading for other online money-making tips which will help you make ends meet.
Start An Online Store
If you market or make a unique product, it can be a great idea to sell them online, directly to customers. This is an excellent route for niche products, such as personalized pet accessories. You’ll need a website which looks professional and is set up to receive orders and then invest a bit of cash for the website and merchandise. If the store becomes particularly successful, you’ll be able to rent space to other retailers that have products to sell – that’s how Amazon started out. You can check out 3dcart.com for more info on selling things online.
Online Cash Loans
What better way to get your hands on some money quickly than through internet loans. Once taken with a strong understanding of the terms and paid back within the right period, online cash loans can be a great way to fund purchases when they are needed quickly and as a necessity.
Sell Products At Online Retailers
If you can sell a product but don’t feel ready to start an online business, you can reach out to one of the many websites which does the hard work of placing the items you sell in front of people who are willing to buy them. If you want to sell collectibles such as jewelry or handmade art, check out Zibbet, Etsy or ArtFire. Etsy is the biggest of them, excellent for vintage or handcrafted items, so you’ll definitely get an audience there.
Sell Your Photography
If you’re a skilled photographer with a large portfolio, you could make it work for you by licensing photos to microstock agencies such as Dreamstime and Shutterstock. There are many blogs and websites who are looking for art to accompany articles, so if you have the sort of photos they’re looking for, you could definitely make good money off it.
The term ‘flipping’ refers to the practice of buying domain names and selling them at a profit. You’ll need a bit of ingenuity, a lot of research and some luck, but you can make a nice sum from time to time. The idea is to check out Google Adwords constantly and be aware of trending keywords, then predict which domain names will soon be in demand. This is not that easy of a task since the simple, clever and/or obvious names are usually taken.
If you come up with a name you might want to purchase, go to a domain name registrar and run it. If it hasn’t been taken yet, all you’ll need to do is pay a purchase fee, and maybe a setup fee, plus the yearly renewal fees. Many companies such as GoDaddy specialize in registering domains. While this can be time-consuming, the payoff can be big – valuable domain names will often sell for over $100,000.
Don’t give up yet – we’ve got a lot more tips which will help you put your skills to pay rent online.
Do Freelance Work
If you’re out of a job in publishing, marketing or web design, and your attempts to find a steady job have failed, it might be a good idea to start a freelancing career. Web sites such as Guru, Textbroker, and Elance allow potential employees to bid for the jobs requested by potential employers.
When we checked, new jobs at Elance ranged to $10 an hour for graphic designers to $1,000-$5,000 for iOS or web developers. Be ready to present your skills and case in a short proposal which states the reasons why you’re the perfect candidate for an assignment. Keep in mind that you’ll need to apply for a variety of jobs before getting one.
Find Quick Odd jobs
When you have some free time and are looking to do certain jobs quickly, you can check out Gigwalk, a free app where companies advertise short assignments they need completed, such as going to a business and writing a Yelp review for it for $20. If you’re good at running errands or assembling furniture, you can sign up at TaskRabbit, where people and business who need some temporary help try to find workers. You’ll need to go through a video interview and a background check, but you can definitely pick up some cash there between jobs.
Did your child get a new set of braces, like many do? If they have, you’ll know that they can be hard to care for.
In fact, having braces is often an inconvenience, particularly if you are not used to them. The good news is that you can help them care for them effectively if you remember a few simple tips. Before you know it, your little one will be time to take your braces off and reveal your beautiful new smile!
Having braces is a different experience. Your teeth will feel weird. It may be hard to eat certain foods. You may even feel some discomfort, particularly at night when you have nothing else to distract you. Keep reminding yourself that this will all pass. You will find a new normal, with braces, and it will be hard to remember what it felt like not to have them. However, go into the process understanding that things will be different for a while. This mentality will help you to adjust to the changes in your life with relative ease.
When you smile, you show off how confident you are. Some people go into the process of getting braces filled with dread. They think that braces will be terrible, and they are worried about how they will look. However, it is important to consider that there are a lot of people in this world with braces. It can’t be THAT bad. Also, remember to smile. When you have a beautiful smile, no one will really pay attention to anything else.
Your teeth will likely be sore when your braces are first put on. That means you should choose foods that don’t require a lot of chewing. For example, soup, applesauce and smoothies are a great option. There’s nothing wrong with a little ice cream to help yourself feel better, either. Soon, though, you will be ready for different food. You must still make careful selections, because some foods (like carrots and apples) have a tendency to get stuck in your braces. They can even damage your orthodontia. If a piece of food does get stuck, it is often really hard to get out. Therefore, avoid hard candies, ice, bagels and chips. Stay away from gum and tootsie rolls. If you want to eat a fruit or a vegetable that is hard, cut it into bite size pieces.
It isn’t going to be easy to clean your teeth well. That means that you should avoid certain foods that often cause cavities, at least until you have your care routine down pat. In general, you should stay away from soda, pastries and candy, because they have a lot of sugar in them. If you do have a treat, make sure you brush right away. Some toothbrushes are better for this task than others; look for one that neutralizes sugar. Your dentist is a great resource if you aren’t sure where to look. Also, food like popcorn, which gets stuck easily in braces, should be avoided. Caramels, nuts and corn on the cob are not great choices either. Remember, it is better to be safe than sorry.
Care For Your Teeth
You likely already take good care of your teeth. However, when you have braces, you have to pay even more attention to what you are doing. You must brush and floss regularly; the braces can trap food and harbor plaque, so a good cleaning routine is essential. Your dentist may be able to provide you with chewable tablets that help you see where plaque is currently hiding. Be vigilant so that you don’t have dental problems down the line.
It is not only important to brush and floss, but it is important to brush and floss the right way. That means making sure that you brush for at least two minutes. Take your time to make sure you get under your wires. Also, when you are flossing, you have to maneuver around the wires, which is not always easy. Tackle each tooth to make sure that you are cleaning properly. If he hasn’t already given you one, speak to your dentist about a wire brush that will help you clean around your wires and brackets. That little tool is essential in helping you get rid of plaque. Before you call it quits, use a mouthwash to help rinse. Ideally, you want one that advertises the fact that it gets rid of plaque. If you can’t tell already, plaque commonly causes issues for people with braces. You must be as diligent as possible in order to keep your teeth and gums healthy.
Why look the same as everyone else? If you put colored rubber bands on your braces, you can personalize your look so that your smile is uniquely yours. You can choose one color or several different colors. You can change up the rubber bands each time you go to the dentist or stick with the same color over time. Do whatever you want, but make your braces part of your look. They aren’t going away any time soon, after all.
Your lips are affected by your braces as well. It is easy for them to dry out and become chapped, which is why it is so important to apply a lip balm consistently. Start as soon as your braces are put on so that you don’t run into any trouble. In fact, it is best to apply a layer just prior to going in to see the orthodontist to have the braces put on. The process is a little slow, and your lips may become chapped and uncomfortable if you don’t take this step. That’s the last thing you need when you will be dealing with a new set of braces.