4 Ways to Help Ease Your Child’s Back to School Anxiety

4 Ways to Help Ease Your Child’s Back to School Anxiety

Many parents are nervous as the new school year approaches. Why? Their child is anxious. It’s not uncommon for children and teens to experience headaches, stomach aches, irritability, withdrawal, and other stress-related effects during this time. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help them before they head off on their first day.

Help Them Start the Day Off Right

Each morning starts with the night before. So make sure your child has a solid bedtime routine in place to help them get adequate sleep. It’s also good to pack any bags and set out clothes for the next day so they’re not rushed in the morning. Furthermore, make sure they can get a healthy breakfast and make it to school with time to spare.

Help Them Transition into the Back to School Routine

Getting their routine in place before the first day of school is important. For instance, you can’t let them stay up late all summer and expect them to wake up refreshed on the first day of school. Help them begin easing back into their workload and schedule one or two weeks before school starts. Ensuring they go to bed a little earlier each night, meeting with their teachers and counselors, and assigning light reading or other work can all be helpful.

Help Them Organize Their Back to School Tasks

If your child is organized, they’re more likely to be excited about school and less likely to be overwhelmed. Work with them to create checklists, organize their textbooks and notebooks, and set a time for weekly cleanup (e.g., relocating old papers and tests, throwing away trash from book bags putting gym clothes in the laundry). Also, help them create a workspace at home, designate a daily study time, and support their efforts by keeping the home a distraction-free.

Talk to Them About Drugs and Alcohol

It seems that kids are being exposed to drugs and alcohol earlier now than ever before. You want to be sure they know about the effects and consequences of addiction. Keeping that conversation going with them throughout their years at school is vital to their health and safety. Make sure they know that treating their anxiety with substances is never the answer and offer them concrete alternatives to relieving stress, such as exercising, music, and art.

Be There to Ease Back to School Anxiety

The most effective way to help alleviate your child’s anxiety is to be present in their lives. Allow them to share their fears and anxieties with you, exercise with them, schedule relaxing activities for the whole family, and model overall self-care through your own lifestyle. Also, you don’t always have to have the answers; sometimes they just need someone to listen.

A lot of children deal with anxiety when school is starting back, so you’re not alone. You can take steps to help them overcome that anxiety and enjoy school. It may take some adjusting as you navigate the waters of childhood and adolescence, but being there for your child and supporting them will make all the difference.

4 Stress Management Strategies for Overwhelmed Single Moms

4 Stress Management Strategies for Overwhelmed Single Moms

When I think about all the stuff that I’ve had to deal with as an overwhelmed single mom I’m reminded that it’s better to pick my battles rather than get wiped out in a pointless war. There is too much going on in my life to allow nit-picky things ruin my day, my relationships, and my health. I empower myself by picking my battles carefully in all areas of my life. A few battles that readily come to mind involve the kids, the Ex, the family/friends, and the job. Here are four ways I’ve managed overwhelm might be helpful to you:

Managing Kids When You’re an Overwhelmed Single Mom 

Every day there is something to fight about with the kids. Mine are in elementary and middle school so they prettyBlack CEO mom tshirt much have a mind of their own. There is the potential to battle over clothes, food, bath and bedtime, as well as the choice of friends.

The clothing battle, especially for my 12-year-old daughter is a potential battle zone. She’s at the age where clothes equal popularity and the latest trends put a strain on my cash flow. Looking like Hanna Montana or the latest kid pop star is cool for her but the wacky/tacky fashions, not to mention the body-hugging, parts revealing attire is enough to make me want to scream.

But I’ve learned to set a few guidelines and let her decide what she will wear. I do a quick, informal inspection before we leave the house and make firm suggestions when she wears a questionable top that will give all the little boys whiplash. She complies because she already knows the rules up front so that battle is diffused before it even gets started.

My 8-year-old son is easier to handle. Just give him some jeans and a shirt and he’s good to go. There are times though when I have to remind him to put on matching socks or switch his shoes around because he still has trouble with two left feet at times.

Dealing with the Ex as an Overwhelmed Single Mom

Battles with the Ex have raged on since the beginning of time (well almost). My ex is no different with the exception of nasty arguments and name calling.

When I realized that we would not be raising our children together I made a decision to treat the relationship as a business arrangement. Yes, I know, it’s easier said than done if he’s less than nice and purposely gives you a hard time. Once I realized that using the kids to make his life miserable or demanding what he “owed” me, I simply made a mental list of what I would need from him in order to raise my children. Surprisingly, when it was all said and done the list was very small. All I needed (and it turns out that it really wasn’t a need) was for him to pay child support.

 

How to win child support ebook at RichSingleMomma.com

I am fortunate that he willingly complied to pay child support without a court order so I’ve received it since the birth of my daughter. I had no problem with him visiting the kids or arranging a holiday visit.

I learned that by removing my emotions I am able to reduce the battles and get on with living, without him that is. If your ex is hard to get along with and is determined to make your life miserable you may consider finding an advocate to deal with him for you. It could be a friend, a parent, or a sibling. It doesn’t have to be a long-term arrangement, just long enough until he understands that you are only concerned with the business of caring for your child.

Getting entangled in arguments and bitter fights with your ex just gives him more power and control over you. Yes, it’s true; allowing people to push your buttons puts them in control of your life and behavior. I don’t mean to lecture, but I’ve learned the hard way and just have to share with you. You have to get to the point where you are not angry at him or hurt that he’s no longer in your life. Until you do you will remain embattled with him and have a miserable life.

In this series, I’ve been talking about picking your battles and empowering your life. Battles with the kids and the ex may feel like a constant drain on your emotions, but you can make the choice to choose what battles you will fight. This time we’ll talk about picking battles with family and friends.

Dealing with Family/Friends as Overwhelmed Single Mom

Some single moms have close ties with the family. As a result, some family members are overprotective, overbearing, or over-involved in your life. I was in this situation and at times it was more stressful than dealing with my ex. When the relationship is over, for some, the family is who you turn to for help getting back on your feet. Mom and/or dad can help with childcare, finances, or a shoulder to cry on. The same can happen with close friends.

The problem occurs when this support system begins or attempts to run your life. They have all the answers about how to raise your children and they seem to be the only ones who know what’s best for you. Soon you find yourself wanting to run away from home or risk a relationship breakdown because of heated words.

In my case, my daughter began undermining my authority by asking my parents for things I told her she couldn’t have. Setting boundaries are the only way to reduce the number of battles you have if you have any. My boundary was moving four hours away. I felt my life spiraling out of control and felt a clean break was the best thing for me and my family. You may find other solutions that work for you.

Dealing With the Job/Career as an Overwhelmed Single Mom

Working is one thing single moms usually can’t get around. We have to work to make ends meet and give our kids the semblance of a normal life. But there are times when all things related to the job make me what to throw in the towel and go on welfare. It’s much safer at home where I can surf the internet all day, cook a great meal for the kids, and take naps. But instead, I get up early to go to work where I am not always appreciated and praised.

There are even times when the boss is a jerk and refuses to admit his mistakes or give me credit for a product or process. I’ve learned that the battle is mostly in my mind because in the world of work, every person is ultimately number one and I don’t matter much more than the completion of the next project. So with the battle being my head, I can make some choices. I can make the choice to not take things personally.

I can realize that at the end of the day I get to go home and be with people who love me. I also understand and jump for joy that my boss is not going to come with me. I get to leave him right where he is and forget about him and the job until the next day. The battle is won in my mind and I am at peace. Of course, I still do a good job, because I realize it’s more about personal satisfaction than anything.

The battles in your life and mine seem to come nonstop, but we are fortunate enough to have choices, smart enough to make good decisions, and savvy enough to make those decisions matter. Because in the grand scheme of things the little battles are just a minor annoyance compared to the joy of motherhood.

 

Video: 6 Ways to Deal with Life and Financial Stress

Video: 6 Ways to Deal with Life and Financial Stress

Stress is a killer and becoming the number one killer of women (heart attacks anyone?).

What is Stress?  

Stress shows up as:

  • Sleepless nights
  • Anxiety
  • Eye twitching
  • Irritability
  • Stomach aches
  • Migraines
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Weight gain/loss
  • and much more.

It affects our work and family DSCN3102life. It affects our romantic relationships. It affects our health, weight, and sexuality.

Whether it is because of the job, long commutes, or personal tragedy, the stress is still the same. You cannot afford to live much longer with this silent killer.

How long will you let it take over your life and make you miserable? How much money will you spend on binge eating or prescription drugs to ease the symptoms?

Aren’t you ready for an alternative that does not just mask the symptoms but completely destroys the stress?

Would you rather suffer the side effects of prescription drugs like weight gain, low libido, or even suicidal thoughts than find the cure?

I was where you are. I was dealing with such extreme stress that it affected my mind, body, and spirit.

I was a walking time bomb! 

DSCN3149My best friend was really worried about me when I began to strip off my clothes in the middle of a department store. I was literally pouring sweat even though it was 32 degrees outside. The stress had taken such a toll on my life and body that it was beginning to shut down.

The doctor told me that I was having menopausal symptoms brought on by premature ovarian failure. The hot flashes and night sweats I was experiencing at age 32 was the result of stress.

My bone density tests came back borderline osteoporosis at age 37. I gained weight and lost weight like a yo-yo. I ate when I was anxious and starved myself when I was depressed.

My blood pressure was rising and I had migraines.

I knew I couldn’t go on this way so took myself off all prescription drugs and went on a radical journey to wholeness and stress-free living.

The results have changed my life. At my last blood pressure check the measurement was 110/73. I’ve lost weight (still getting more off), and I no longer have hot flashes.

Overall I am happier and more alive than ever.

How did I do it? It was a combination of things including mental, spiritual, and physical changes. Being an ambitious person and over-achiever drove me to excellence in everything. I could not turn my mind off so I learned meditation.

I could not stand the prescription drugs so I turned to natural solutions.

I was trying to work on my businesses and trying to work a full-time job so I said goodbye to the corporate job and hello to my bliss.

The changes were not easy but I did not want to continue living with the alternative…Stress.

Ready. Set. Breathe!

4

If you are at the point where the stress is affecting your health and relationships it is time to do something else.

If you want to feel alert, alive, and available while you go through the process of stress elimination you have to let go of the prescription drugs. The natural alternatives are the best for you and are non-addictive.

Are you ready to begin your journey out of stress and into joy? You do not have to do this alone. I’ve been where you are and I know the path to amazing joy and clarity without depending on a pill to mask the symptoms.

I want to help you move from stressed out, depressed, and ready to give up on life before you crash (if you haven’t already). I want to help you live more abundantly and create the life you’ve been craving.

Enter your name and email address to access the FREE Stress Management Training and download the stress relief guide.

 

20 Tips for Maintaining Financial Sanity During a Divorce

20 Tips for Maintaining Financial Sanity During a Divorce

Managing your finances is never simple, but a divorce can make it far more complex. In addition to the emotional turmoil a divorce can cause in a person’s life, it can also cause a lot of financial upheaval. By establishing a plan and relying on professional help where necessary, you can ensure your best possible financial outcome and avoid damage to your credit score during this tumultuous time.

If you are facing a divorce in your future, these 20 tips will help you to maintain some sanity when it comes to navigating the financial aspects of divorce.

1. Consider both parties.

This can seem impossible in the midst of the emotions of a divorce when tempers are high. Still, it’s important to remember that making the best financial decisions for both parties will benefit you in the long run.

2. Don’t heed unsolicited advice.

Whether it’s your best friend or a co-worker, there will be no shortage of unsolicited advice from people you know during a divorce. They’ll be all too happy to share a story of a nightmare divorce, or an amicable one and tell you what you should — or shouldn’t — do in your own situation. It’s best to heed only the advice of those you trust. Always remember that advice is just that, and ultimately the decisions you make are up to you.

3. Don’t tell everyone your business.

When emotions are high we often wear them on our sleeves. In these times, we may find ourselves blabbing about our divorce to everyone, including the grocery store clerk. But because there is so much personal information — financial and otherwise — tied up in the divorce process, it’s best to keep the details of your situation private and confidential.

4. Leave advice to the professionals.

It’s important to only take legal and financial advice from a lawyer and a trusted financial professional. They will be able to objectively help you through your particular situation with the most effective and beneficial advice and strategies.

5. Focus on finances.

A lawyer can help you through the legalities of things like separation agreements and child visitation, but when it comes to finances and managing joint debts, it’s best to work with someone who specializes in finances. If you don’t know where to start, ask your divorce lawyer or mediator to recommend a financial planner they trust or have worked with in the past.

6. Close joint credit accounts.

Once you have filed for divorce, it’s important to cease accruing debt in both of your names. By continuing to rack up joint debt you could end up doing more damage to your credit scores and credit reports and subsequently complicating the divorce process.

7. Open separate checking accounts.

It’s important to remove your spouse’s name not only from your joint credit accounts, but from checking and savings accounts as well. Once you’ve filed for divorce, joint bank accounts should be closed and new, individual accounts should be opened.

8. Keep track of income and expenses.

This is always a smart idea, but particularly during the stress and chaos of a divorce, it can be helpful to track and document financial details including child support and alimony payments, and shared medical and other expenses. There are many personal finance apps available that can help you keep track of these details.

9. Create a budget.

Going from a two-income household to a single income is a major transition. If you haven’t adhered to a budget in the past, a divorce is a compelling reason to start doing so immediately. Make sure to outline everything, including both daily and monthly expenses (groceries, utilities, mortgage and car payments, scheduled maintenance on appliances and vehicles), and long-term expenses including retirement and tuition funds. This will help you avoid overspending as you adjust to your new financial norm.

10. Update your records.

Once your divorce is final you will need to change your marital status on things including tax records, utility bills, health insurance, and property titles (homes and cars, etc.).

11. Secure your own health insurance coverage.

For many couples one spouse is the main policyholder on the health insurance coverage for the entire family. When you get divorced, there will be a grace period for one or both of you to find new coverage on separate policies. Make sure to talk to your employer to find out when the next open enrollment period is coming. If you do not have employer-sponsored health insurance available, you’ll need to research individual health insurance options.

12. Consider adding more health insurance coverage options.

Relative to the previous item, it’s important to carefully consider the potential coverage you will need on your health insurance policies. You may need to add things you didn’t have previously, such as counseling coverage for yourself or your children if they will need it during this difficult and transitional time.

13. Decide whether or not you will change your name.

If you legally assumed your spouse’s last name when you were married you will need to decide whether you’re going to keep it for legal purposes. No matter what you decide, it’s important to make sure your legal name matches the name on any credit and loan accounts. Otherwise you could end up with errors or multiple names or accounts on your credit report that you’ll have to dispute later. This can cause damage to your credit and ultimately even lower your credit score.

14. Begin establishing your own credit.

Once you’re divorced you may find that your credit score has taken a hit thanks to removing your name from accounts and losing some of your established credit history. While it’s not advisable to run up a bunch of new debt, you can benefit by establishing new credit and opening a new bank account and credit card in your own name.

15. Update wills, medical directives, and powers of attorney.

It’s not uncommon for a spouse to serve the role of power of attorney, medical power of attorney and beneficiary to a will. If you have designated your spouse as any of these things, it’s important to update all of these to reflect the new person or people you’d like to appoint to fulfill these roles.

16. Change beneficiaries on retirement accounts and life insurance policies.

Similar to the the previous tip, make sure that your life insurance policy, 401(k), IRA and other retirement accounts are updated to reflect the change in your marital status.

17. Ensure your children are covered.

If you have minor children that should benefit from your retirement accounts or life insurance policies, make sure any changes you put in place account for that. For example, if you have a $200,000 life insurance policy that you would like your now 6-year-old child to receive at age 25, make sure the person you appoint will fulfill your wishes pertaining to the amounts you designate and when. It’s a good idea to get these details in writing and notarized as well.

18. Get savvy in managing your finances.

In many marriages, one spouse acts as the financial manager. That means they handle things like paying the bills, setting the budget, balancing the checkbook, filing annual tax returns, etc. If you are not the spouse that handled these things then you may have little or no knowledge of how to manage these things day to day. It can be helpful to establish a relationship with a certified financial planner, a banker, and a professional tax preparer. It can also be helpful to sign up for an online course on basic financial management.

19. Establish a savings account.

It may seem counter intuitive to try to save money at a time when your financial situation may have significantly changed. However, when it comes to saving money, even small amounts add up. And you never know when an unexpected expense may arise and you’ll need a little extra.

20. Take it one day at a time.

Divorce is never something we plan for, and it can feel completely overwhelming when tending to all of the decisions and details that need to be worked out. But by slowing down and taking things one step and one day at a time, you will find that both you and your finances will adjust to this life change. And you may just make the transition a lot more seamlessly than you think you will.

The post 20 Tips for Maintaining Financial Sanity During a Divorce appeared first on Credit.com.

7 Steps to Get Rid of Your Financial Stress Once & For All

7 Steps to Get Rid of Your Financial Stress Once & For All

Financial stress and anxiety affect millions of people. No matter how much, or how little, money you make, you have probably felt financial stress at some point in your life. It doesn’t matter how well you think you’ve planned (or haven’t), things can happen that cause you stress or anxiety.

Chances are you’ve had to deal with one of these situations:

  • Your income dropped and now you can’t pay your bills.
  • There was an unexpected expense that drained your savings.
  • The debts keep building up and you can’t pay them down.
  • You have had a medical issue and insurance did not cover it.

If you’ve dealt with one or all of these scenarios, you’re not alone. Thousands of Americans are in the same situation. They move from one stressful financial situation to another — or juggle many of them at the same time.

The reasons for financial stress differ for all of us, but the way to overcome it is the same.

1. Talk About It

The No. 1 mistake people make when they stress about anything is to avoid it. There is this belief that if you don’t talk about or address it, then it is not true. If you do this, though, the situation will get worse.

You need to look directly at the financial situation causing you stress. It can help to write it down, along with ideas that might make it better. If you are in a relationship, talk to your spouse or partner about it.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore it. It won’t go away on its own.

2. Review Your Budget

If you have a budget, refer to it to see what can be changed. Is there a spending category you can eliminate? Maybe you can reduce your spending until you address your financial situation.

If you do not have a budget, start there. Even if you are broke, you still need a budget. Your budget is a financial roadmap. It guides you to make the right spending choices and to see where your money goes.

Reviewing your budget helps identify what works and what doesn’t. You should check your budget at least once a month so you always know where you are going, and where you’ve been.

3. Make More Money

Your stress may mean it is time to change careers or jobs, or that you need to find ways to bring in more money. There are many ways you can work from home and make more money. You just have to find the right niche.

4. Comparison Shop

If you need to make a major purchase, don’t run down the street to the closest store to make your purchase. Research the item you want. Read reviews and check prices.

Once you know which item you want, visit your store to buy it. You might be able to price match to get the best deal or even negotiate the price, especially if you use cash.

5. Get Rid of Your Debt

Debt is one of the main reasons people have financial stress. Whether your debt is the result of overspending or life tossing obstacles your way it can be easy to get in over your head.

Taking steps to get out of debt can improve your financial stress. It will not be easy. I know this because I’ve been in your shoes. However, if you can put together a plan and begin making progress toward your goals, you will find your financial stress is reduced, or possibly eliminated. (Remember, keeping your debt under control can also improve your credit standing, which can save you thousands over your lifetime Find out where your credit stands by getting your two free credit scores on Credit.com.)

6. Seek Professional Help

If your financial situation is really bad, it may be time to seek professional help. You may want to consult a financial planner if you stress over saving for college or retirement.

Asking for help does not make you weak. It shows you are smart. If you needed surgery, you would not perform it on yourself. You would find a surgeon. The same is true with your finances.

7. Set Goals

Decide what you want from your finances. Make a vision board, or post an image of your goal where you will see it every day. When you can visualize your goals, and see them in front of you, they become real. They are no longer a thought in the back of your mind. Seeing your goals in front of you can keep you focused.

For example, when I was working on paying off my debt, I had a paper on the refrigerator with a total amount owed on it. As we made payments, I updated it. It was in front of my face every day. I could see how much we owed, but more than that, I was able to see our progress as I watched the balance drop.

No matter what causes you financial stress and anxiety, there are things you can do to overcome it. You need to first take ownership and then take the necessary steps forward.

The post 7 Steps to Get Rid of Your Financial Stress Once & For All appeared first on Credit.com.

 

How to Prepare Your Child for an Ivy League Education

How to Prepare Your Child for an Ivy League Education

It’s been almost three months since I’ve seen my daughter. In January, I packed her up and drove her to NYC to start a new life and education at Columbia University. It feels like a dream but it’s real. I never thought I would miss my child this much but every now and again I feel the tears well up in my eyes and I want to cry. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of her and it was me who encouraged her to go to NYC. I have to suck it up and let her live her life.

What led up to her going to Columbia University is quite a story. We never really planned this but preparation brought her to this point. I believe any parent can prepare their kids with the right tools. It doesn’t have to be an Ivy-league school but if you want your child to have the best education there are some steps you want to take.

This video is a summary of what led up to this major life-changing event. If you have questions email me at samantha@richsinglemomma.com.