Parenting is tough. It’s even tougher when you are parenting alone (aka Single Motherhood or Single Parenthood) and your child is having a meltdown. The crazy thing is, the so-called “experts” always have something to say to make it seems like you are the parent from hell when your child acts out. Single mom and mega star, Charlize Theron, has learned that she is under no less scrutiny.
Here is what I know about the situation that was photographed without even having to know the situation. Theron’s son was likely cranky, upset at not getting his way, tired, or a million other things. Sure she could have stood there and asked him why he was upset, why he didn’t want to get into the car, and had a dialog with him that would have satisfied everyone else but made not one bit of difference in the situation. She was getting nowhere and likely just wanted to take control of a potentially dangerous situation in the parking lot. She probably didn’t want to have the paparazzi snapping picture of her or her child so he would be protected. Of course her young son knows nothing of this and cannot comprehend the danger.
The other side of that coin just might be that he is spoiled and had not gotten “the talk” before they got out of the car.
What is “the talk”? Well it’s when, I as the parent and authority in this situation tells my child, who has no authority in this situation because I am the parent and am looking out for his well being says, “When we get out of this car you will not ask for anything, touch anything, or do anything other than what I tell you to do. When it’s time to get into the car you will get into the car. Period.” That is “the talk”.
#lunes #CharlizeTheron pic.twitter.com/uVAq0yHS77
— Sobchak (@Sobchak5) February 22, 2016
In public where there is a ton of distractions and danger for the child I am obligated to make sure he is with me and clear about the objectives. Go into the store, class, event in one piece and leave in one piece and without incident. If I didn’t the police would be on me like white on rice and hear of no other explanation other than it was my responsibility to watch my child. Remember the mothers arrested for leaving their child alone on the playground, allowing their kids to walk home alone, or stay in the car while mom goes on an interview?
Call it controlling. Call it not letting them express themselves. Call it #monstermom behavior. But I call it caring for my child and doing whatever I see is fit and best for me and my child not to meddling on-lookers.
Parenting is tough enough without all the theories from detached third-parties. It’s tough enough without family member meddling, but when the general public meddles, when the government meddles, when the “experts” meddle it becomes a big ball of confusion and resentment from the parents in the trenches.
“After a #tantrum subsides, ASK your #child why he’s upset.” #Parenting #Advice #CharlizeTheron .@OK_Magazine https://t.co/7lDj9wUUJ9
— Dr. Gilda Carle (@DrGilda) February 22, 2016
What would I have done in the situation Charlize Theron faced? Probably the same thing except it would not likely have happened to me because I let my kids know very early on that I am a #monstermom, I’m a #crazymom, and I am a #ninjamom too.
I can see what they are doing when I’m not looking. I know what they will say and do before they do it. I beat them to the punch and they are still in awe of me. But I set the tone early in their lives. I let them know that I’m not their friend but am their parent and MY word is law until they move out and can take care of themselves. Sure, I include an amazing dose of love, fairness, discussion, and free will, but it is within the boundaries of common sense and, “don’t try me” or you will be dealing with the consequences.
Charlize Theron is not a #monstermom. She is just a regular mom dealing with a kid that had a bad day and very little boundaries. But she can fix it when she gets home. Today, just let her get the kid in the car and out of the purview of the meddling media and “experts” who have no idea what she was dealing with.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
I could not imagine having to raise a child with the media/world privy to our every move. I can’t believe people are calling her a monster mom. You would have thought she had abused the child. Folks are often quick to make judgement not having a single detail accept their assumptions. It’s sad.