How do you deal with your deadbeat baby daddy? If you listen to your girlfriend, the media, the courts, or the rest of the world they would say to drag him through court, practically stalk him, or throw him in jail. I think that is a big mistake.

You are only hurting yourself and your chances of living a mentally healthy, happy, and prosperous life. If I have your attention keep reading and pick up the child support guidebook.

 

 

5 Reasons You Should Ignore Your Deadbeat Baby Daddy and Bid Farewell to Child Support Dependence

Ever dream of finding the right way to forget about your deadbeat baby daddy, stop depending on unreliable child support, and start changing your life? Many single moms have actually done that.

Most, however, never work through the daydream stage. Many lacked the desire to research, learn, and put a plan in motion, so all they do is dream, whine, and complain about how he’s a deadbeat.

So what is the positive impact of ignoring the father of your child and letting go? The negatives were covered all right, but why not consider the positives? Before we let the negatives rule, the positives deserve a fair hearing.

Let’s examine 5 positive reasons in favor of attempting to forget about your deadbeat baby daddy and inadequate child support to see those that ring true.

1. He’s proven he doesn’t want to be a part of your or your child’s life. 

I completely understand your rationale in thinking you had something special at one time, after all you had a baby together. I agree that that’s a rather valid objection, but please consider, if he hasn’t paid one red cent (or barely $100 a year) since the day the baby was born, he’s not interested in being a part of your lives. Moreover, you will need to consider you might be better off without him.

Here’s what to do when your baby daddy ignores you and your child; let him and begin the process of healing your heart, body, mind, and soul. Ignoring you is his way of telling you he is not interested in a life with you. It is harsh and it hurts, but it is truth backed up by his actions. You can begin the journey of discovering who you are, accepting your beauty and brilliance, and then releasing him and the painful memories surrounding your relationship. 

2. He’s probably more interested in the next conquest than raising a child with you. 

The leading reason is he’s too immature to want to be a parent. And also afraid of any type of real responsibility. If your child was conceived from a one night stand or fling, the father is probably only interested in the next fling. Sounds judgmental? It is and I’m not ashamed. The facts speak for themselves. A player rarely turns into a parent. The song, Papa Was a Rolling Stone comes to mind. If you were pulled in by this type of guy, forgive yourself and move on. You’ll make way for a better relationship and someone who can truly love you and your child.

3. Your anger and constant nagging about his inability to be a real man keeps him running away from you and his responsibility.

Plus perhaps your habit of broadcasting his failures to your girlfriends and the rest of the world! Most men run from drama and anger, especially if it is their fault. Rather than own up to it they will disappear, even if it means abandoning their child. In their mind they don’t see it as abandonment but as self-preservation. As long as you remain angry, bitter, and vindictive he will avoid you and his responsibility. But what if you could get him to see your point of view? What if you could get him to want to be a responsible dad instead of a deadbeat dad? It’s possible if you can get past the pain and look for a child support solution you both can be happy with.

4. You are giving him control of your life every second you remain angry at him.

Anger is fuel for controlling people. The more you allow your anger towards him to boil in your heart the more you give up control of your life. I learned this lesson the hard way; not just when it came to child support but with everything I wanted but couldn’t get because anger controlled me.

I realized that my ex was feeding off my negative emotions. He was like an emotional vampire that thrived on me feeling hurt, angry, and out of control. He was able to push my buttons an defend his actions because I gave him fuel. I looked crazy and unreasonable which justified his deadbeat daddy behavior.

5. You can create a better life for you and your child without his help.

When you take the focus off of him and make plans for financial security because of your own efforts you can create an amazing life for your family. You have so much more power when you are focused on the possibilities instead of the problems.

When you are calm, happy, and clear they solution shows up magically. You can see your future clearly and create goals out of your dreams. Your energy is on creating a life you love, raising amazing kids, and living your life in peace.

I can testify that after I gave up the fight I found peace. I set boundaries and guidelines around my interactions with my ex. I felt more in control and made decisions based on what was best for me instead of decisions designed to get him back for forcing me to bear the financial and parental responsibility all on my own.

What will you do now?

After you have had a chance to go over the reasons and think about them, you’ll find that a top-notch case can be made in favor of forgetting about your deadbeat baby daddy and moving on with your life.

Just think about it. Perhaps you really, in all seriousness, should forget fighting tooth and nail for him to be a father and sending money to help support your child.

As soon as you examine each of the reasons and evaluate them, you will have to admit that a very compelling case can be made for starting to consider how you can forget about your deadbeat baby daddy and create drama-free life with all the trimmings.

So maybe, just maybe, you really should stop depending on child support from a man who’s proven he doesn’t want to be responsible for taking care of his child. This is just my two cents worth.

It’s heartbreaking to see so many single moms struggle with this issue. The bottom line is it’s time to take control of our lives and destiny. Begin by finishing school if you haven’t, upgrading your skills for a better position, start a business to make extra money, and most importantly release the pain of rejection and low self-esteem.