Reality is a bitter pill to swallow when the marriage you entered with such hope and expectation comes to an end. We all have our stories and they are all different, you could be married for decades, for a year, children or no children but there is still much hurt. The main thing on your mind now might be how to move forward and adjust as a single person. Here are four tips to help you reinvent yourself on your new journey from a divorce expert:
1) Allow yourself to mourn
2) Work through your feelings
3) Learn to love yourself
4) Dare to be alone
Allow yourself to mourn
When you get married divorce is usually the last thing on your mind. Even if by the time you both decide it’s best to call it quits and move on, divorce still represents a loss. No matter what experiences you have had in your marriage and divorce, grief will definitely be a major emotion experienced. You may feel remorse for what you did or did not do or you wonder what you may have done to deserve this heartbreak. No matter the situation you do need to dwell on the past. While you need to make space for those feelings you do not need to get consumed by them. Just mourn as there will be an empty space where something once was. Talk to a friend or counselor, there are various help hotlines.
Work through your feelings
You need to work through your feelings as the worst thing you can ever do is carry the baggage from your marriage into your new relationship. You need to focus your energy on a healthy activity that you enjoy. You don’t sweep these emotions under the rug but if you don’t work through them they will pollute your new relationship. Work towards a better life.
Learn to love yourself
As cliché as this might sound many people face self-rejection after a divorce and again you may want to blame yourself for what you could have done differently or better. Work on getting your confidence back and have faith in yourself. Believe in your own worth.
Dare to be alone
It is truly natural to feel completely lost after a divorce but I dare you to enjoy your own company. Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or isolated. It just means you are not coupled up and you are definitely in no rush to do so. You are now open to meeting new friends and joining new social circles. Embrace the possibilities!
We all make mistakes in life but we do not need to spend the rest of our lives beating up ourselves. We need to accept what was and look forward to what the future will hold. Divorce is not the end of the world no matter how much love, time and effort you feel you have invested. Forgive him, forgive yourself and move on. It will all get better in time.