21 Radical Back to School Budget, Bully, and Bullet-proofing Tips Busy Parents Can Start Today to Empower Yourself and Your Child Tomorrow

by Samantha Gregory | Jul 29, 2019

Can you believe it’s already back to school season? Once we pass Independence Day the back to school shopping advertisements begins. We get into back to school prep mode in anticipation of a new school year. Ironically, in this day and age of bullying, suicide, and random shooters in school hallways, there is much more to prepare your children for than just having the right clothes and supplies. 

Since this is a personal finance blog I will share my back to school budget tips, but I also want to share my radical parenting tips for bullying prevention and bulletproofing your kids. Hopefully, this will prepare you and your child for a financially, emotionally, and physically safe, healthy and happy school year. Grab your coffee or tea (my favorite) and settle in for an eye-opening, yet empowering read.

7 Back to School Budget Shopping Tips

According to the National Retail Foundation (NRF), “families with children in elementary school through high school plan to spend an average $696.70. That’s up from $684.79 last year.” That is a lot of money on a single income. Fortunately for you, I have seven things that you can do to budget-proof, save money, and cut your spending in half on back to school clothes and supplies. 

Tip 1 – Create A Spending Plan or Budget

When you know what you want to spend for each child you have more control of your money and can make better buying decisions. If you have one child you will probably spend less but if you have more than one, then you definitely need to have a spending plan in place. This plan will hopefully include the clothes that they will be wearing, school supplies, lunches, and any activities they’ll be involved in.

Tip 2 – Buy in Bulk With Others 

Buying in bulk with others will save money because you’re buying large quantities from a warehouse club at a lower price.  You divide the order with everyone who contributed to the purchase. This is great for buying items that you probably never thought of purchasing, and also great for developing a cooperative relationship with other parents that can go on through the rest of the school year. 

Tip 3 – Shop Top Sales

There are going to be plenty of sales but you want to be strategic about the sales you follow. Make sure that you’re only getting things that your child really needs for the school year.  It’s easy to get sucked into buying unnecessary items on a whim because the price is just too good to pass up. Buy supplies for the entire school year on sale and use coupons for additional discounts. 

Tip 4 – Create A Uniform or Capsule Wardrobe To Save Money

This might sound new and different but it can be a money and time saver, especially if your child is not going to a private school or school that requires uniforms. Clothing can be very expensive and even though our kids want to be the most fashionable and wear the latest styles, creating a uniform, or capsule wardrobe will definitely save you money. Create your own uniform with jeans or khaki pants and different color shirts for each day of the week. Use accessories for girls to mix things up or create a unique look.

Creating a capsule wardrobe or uniform that you can mix and match keeps you from spending crazy amounts of money on clothing for the school year. The added benefit is your kids, always know that they never have to wonder about what they will wear to school each day. It’s also important to know what your child wears daily should the unthinkable happen. 

Tip 5 – Shop Consignment and Thrift Stores for Gently Used Designer Clothes
If your child wants and craves designer clothes because they are fashionistas, you’ll want to help them find quality clothes, without the sticker shock. Head to a consignment shop like Plato’s Closet and look for designer clothing in their size and fits their taste. You can also find gently used clothes at thrift stores. Often there are tags still on the clothes. If you go on specific days you might even get up to 75% off the already discounted price! 

Tip 6 – Say No to Excessive Requests 

Fundraisers – During the school year, especially the beginning of the school year, there are fundraisers for everything. The PTA is always putting on fundraisers, the school has their fundraisers, the band or sports clubs have fundraisers as well. Every time you look up someone is asking for more money. Decide at the beginning of the school year how much you plan to contribute to a fundraiser. Making this decision early will save your budget and sanity.

Teacher Requests – Another type of excessive requests are classroom supplies. Teachers, with the help of the school, should be providing the cleaning supplies, tissues, hand sanitizer, etc. for the classroom. But somehow the parents have been made responsible for buying these items for the entire class. If this request will bust your budget, you can say no and tell them that you are not willing or not able to provide extra supplies for the entire classroom. It is too much for you and your budget. It’s okay to say no. 

Tip 7- Choose 1-2 Extra Curricular Activities For The Year

Your child does not have to be in every club or every activity that’s available during the school year. You can decide at the beginning of the school year that your child will only be involved in one or two activities. Setting limits will cut down on the amount of money you have to spend on uniforms, equipment, instruments, and supplies outside of what you already spend for the regular school year.

So there you have your back to school budget tips and tools to make sure you both have a financially safe, healthy and happy school year. 

7 Bully-Proofing Tips to Empower Your Child

Now let’s move on to bully-proofing and prevention. Bullying is a very important topic that has been spotlighted in the media and for good reason. I’ve had to deal with bullying as a parent and when I was a child. I equipped my kids as best as I knew how to deal with bullies at school. Statistically, 49% of children in grades 4–12 reported being bullied by other students at school at least once during the past month, according to StopBullying.gov. As a parent, you want to prevent bullying as much as possible for you and your child to feel emotionally safe, healthy and happy school year.

Here’s how to create a bullying proofing or prevention plan. 

Tip 1 – Set Expectations With The School And Your Child At The Beginning Of The Year 

You want to let the staff and faculty know that if there are any incidences of bullying, you will report it to the police and that you expect there be full repercussions to anyone, teacher or child, who attempts to harm or bully your child. Set expectations ahead of time so that everyone knows, including teachers, faculty, as well as the principal and staff that your child will not be a bullying target. In PTA meetings, make a declarative statement to all parents present that bullying is not going to be tolerated. Let everyone know you have a contingency plan for it, and that you expect that everyone will be in cooperation and speaking with their children about bullying and preventing it.

Tip 2 – Teach Your Child Verbal Self Defense 

Bullying activity usually starts with words. If you teach your child verbal self-defense, you can equip and empower them to diffuse difficult situations.

Verbal self-defense is using one’s words to prevent, de-escalate, or end an attempted assault. (Wikipedia). If they’re being bullied or a hateful person is spreading rumors/ lies or is verbally abusive, teach your child how to stand up to the perpetrator. Teach them how to look the bully in the eye and let them know that you will not be bullied or listen to the abuse, and walk away.

There are other things that you can teach them about verbal self-defense. Practice saying something like, “Oh that’s all you got?” or “Is that right? Let’s settle this right now!” Once you teach your child to confidently give a rebuttal, then you and they will feel more confident moving forward in the school year. There is no guarantee they won’t be bullied, but it will help them see that they have an option to respond in a way that’s empowering for them.

Tip 3 – Teach Physical Self Defense

If you’re able to put your child into a self-defense class, then do that, whether it’s karate Taekwondo or boxing. You want to give your child a sense of empowerment to defend themselves in case someone decides to physically hurt your child. 

Tip 4 – Agree on Limited Social Media During the School Year

Limiting social media during the school year is a very important tactic because this is where a lot of bullying starts online which turns into cyber-bullying. You want your child to understand that social media will be limited or off limits during the school year because they need to focus on their schoolwork. Involvement with peers is important, but not to the point of it hindering their studies. It also sets a precedent for letting their friends know what’s more important. You are proving that knowledge is power.

Tip 5 – Create a No Social Media Policy 

Implementing a no social media policy is a way to ensure good mental health and focus. Explain to your child that the academic plan you’ve created for the school year will go off the rails if social media is distracting them. It cannot help them advance in their goals or help them stay on course for their projects, their homework, their applications to different organizations and or colleges. Social media is not a priority. It has to go on the back burner until all academic goals are met. In essence, eliminating social media can eliminate opportunities for bullying.

Tip 6 – Create an Open Door Policy/No Judgment Zone to Discuss Peer Issues 

An open-door policy is very important because you don’t want your child to hide the fact that they are dealing with harsh situations, whether it’s bullying or cyberbullying. You want them to be able to come to you so you know what’s happening and how to help them deal with it. They may not want you to get involved, but you can be a coach for them to help them deal with the situation.

Tip 7 – Build Their Sense of Value and Self Worth 

Building their self-esteem and helping them understand their value will build their confidence. They’ll be able to let peer pressure and bullying, as long as it’s not physical, slide off their back and not be emotionally affected by it. Building up their self-esteem is crucial because with high self-esteem they know another person’s opinion has nothing to do with their success or failure. It is simply a character issue with the person who is being the bully.

Note: In order to build self-confidence in your child, you have to have self-confidence and have a sense of value for yourself. Parents who are confident usually raise confident children, so you must build up your own confidence. You have to deal with bullying issues you faced when you were in school and not live vicariously through your child. You don’t want your child to be defenseless or hopeless, because you felt defenseless and hopeless. You need to build up your own self-esteem, your sense of self-worth and cultivate that in your child.

7 Radical Bulletproofing Tips to Empower Your Child

Finally, let’s discuss bullet-proofing your child. We live in a society where, unfortunately, school shootings are regularly occurring. In 2018, there were 82 school shootings, the highest on record, according to the Center for Homeland Defense and Security (CHDS). These acts of local terrorism have become a part of our culture. Despite the fear and hopelessness around school shootings, It’s important to believe that you can bulletproof your child and to know that it doesn’t require you getting a gun. It also doesn’t require you to stand guard outside of the school every single day. Fortunately, there are things you can do that will keep your child safe and give you a sense of peace.

Tip 1 – Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Start with affirmations to cultivate a positive mindset. Why? Because your mindset and your attitude will determine how your child feels about going to school, and about how to deal with different incidences that happen at school. Having a positive mindset will set them up for a positive day, and positive life. Negative energy will draw more negative energy, which will keep your child in a state of fear. You don’t want them to be frightened of everything but want them to have a safe, healthy, happy existence at school. Cultivate a positive mental attitude.

Tip 2 – Pray for Your Child

Even though prayer has been taken out of school, there is nothing stopping you from praying for and with your child at home. You want to pray and bless your children before they leave, and when they return from school. We were created by the Creator, the source of all life, who is the ultimate protector. Give the Creator control and the opportunity to protect your child.

While you are praying for your child, pray for and bless the school and employees. Pray for the building and for everyone that comes in and out of the building. Pray for a wall of protection around the school, so that no perpetrators can enter the school with any ill intent. Your prayers have power. What is even more powerful is praying with other parents with children going to the same school. Your combined prayers are a powerful force against evil.

Tip 3 – Decide and Affirm That Your Child Has a Safe and Successful School Year 

You can do this before school even starts. You can start saying this right now and begin making the affirmations over your child’s life, every single day. Do this in a thankful way, not in a begging way. There’s a difference. You are trusting that God, the universe, the Source of all life has your child’s best interest at heart and they have sent the angels of protection around them, to keep them safe. You have to pray this over your child because you are their parent and you are the one that has a vested interest in them living a safe, whole, successful life.

Tip 4 – Create an Emergency Plan

You are praying for and blessing your children, but we also want to take action and create an emergency plan. If anything does happen at the school, you’re able to contact your child, you’re able to contact the school, and you have a safe word or a safe place they will go. You also want to make sure that you are staying calm during any emergency situation so that you can make your child feel calm as well. Department of Homeland Security computer forensics expert, Kevin Tillman, suggests parental apps that monitor communications are a great tool to have in your arsenal. Some apps are free and others have a cost. He also says having parents on speed dial is critical. 

Tip 5 – Teach Them to Pray For Themselves and Their Peers

School prayer has been banned but you can still teach your child to pray on their own in school. And it doesn’t have to be a group or school-mandated activity, but they can pray, while they’re in class. You can teach them how to pray prayers of protection to keep themselves safe. You can teach them positive affirmations and help them cultivate a positive mindset. They will be a source of light and positive energy to children around them.

Just think, if every parent who’s reading this article will teach their children how to pray, then prayer will be back into schools. It won’t be a mandatory thing that the school determines and dictates, but it is simply what each individual has a right to do. Think how much safer the school will be, because there are individuals inside the school praying every day. Every day and pretty much all day the school is protected by the prayers that started at home then filled the school because the kids start praying before tests, for their friends, and for themselves. 

Tip 6 – Teach Them the Stay Low, Don’t Be a Hero Method 

If anything happens at the school, your child needs to know that they should stay low and don’t be a hero. They should basically make themselves invisible, and run away if possible. When they have this in mind, they will likely be safer. Teach them to follow the stay low, don’t be a hero methodology, and you’ll likely see your child safely at home. “Parents should also be aware and familiar with any active shooter training the school provides”, says Tillman. This will help them know the school’s procedure if such an incident occurs. 

Tip 7 – Adopt an Arrive Alive Visualization Practice 

See you children coming home safe and happy every single day. When you are able to see yourself greeting their child at home and see them safe and happy, you are creating this reality. You’ve just adopted an arrive alive visualization. Know and trust that you and your children will always arrive home safe every single day. I’ve done this regularly through the years with my children and they’ve come home safely every day so far. Release any thoughts of tragedy or pain coming to your children. Speak goodness, peace, and health over their lives daily. Remain in a good mental place and keep a positive mental attitude every moment of the day to see positive things happen for your children.

Next Steps

We’ve discussed budget-proofing, we discussed bully-proofing, and we discuss bullet-proofing your child for the upcoming school year. All of these strategies are within your power as a parent to enforce and complete. I hope that as you go forward through this new school year that you will have both a safe, healthy, and happy school year for you and your children.

Back to School Safety Parental Resources

Spyzie – A mobile phone monitoring and tracking app. Monitor your kids’ phone activity to make sure you know they are safe online. Also, track where they are at all times which is especially important if there is an incident at school. Available for both Android and IOS.

Qustodio – A parental control software to monitor your child’s activity online and on the go. Block numbers, websites, and see who they are talking to on the phone and online. Available for Windows, Android, IOS, and Kindle.

Back to School Budget, Bully, and Bullet-Proofing Checklist – To help you remember these back to school action items I’ve created a checklistyou can download for free with the coupon code: SAFEKIDS.

Click here to get your checklist now.

.  

Samantha Gregory

Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.

Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.

She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.

richsinglemomma.com/