Last week I went on Spring Break vacation with my kids to the Georgia Coast. You may have seen the pictures and posts I’ve put on RichSingleMomma.com. The trip was both educational and relaxing. I splurged on the hotel rooms this time around because there is just nothing like a great night sleep in luxury hotel. Of course I asked for and got a reasonable discount that made it affordable for me.

The beach was great and the lighthouses we saw were amazing.

Have you ever been to a beach and it was covered in seaweed and driftwood? It’s hard to enjoy when you are trying to step over and around it, right? Fortunately we didn’t see any seaweed or driftwood along the beach line. In the past I’ve seen to much of it which didn’t make a very pleasant experience.

Seaweed and Driftwood Experiences
That brings me to a point I want to share with you about what I call seaweed and driftwood relationships. In my life (and I’m sure in yours) I want love and quality relationships, but sometimes I get distracted by people and situations that distract me from my true desire. A good looking guy, an interesting opportunity, or a situation that seems okay at the moment takes my attention away from the things I really want.

Waiting for Paradise
I lose sight of the “paradise” or that “pristine beach experience” I really want because I’m distracted by all the driftwood and seaweed around me. So instead of getting the great quality man, the perfect opportunity, or an amazing situation, I miss it because I’m so focused on the driftwood and seaweed. My energy is consumed by the trivial, which costs me the valuable experience I desire and deserve.

Recognizing the Difference and Waiting for the Best
I’m learning to recognize the driftwood and seaweed (D & S) much better. When an ex calls or texts out of the blue thats D & S. When a guy that is clearly wrong for me but terribly good looking flirts with me that is D & S. When I see a new way to make money that distracts me from my current goals, that is D & S. Basically anything that takes me off course or disturbs my peace is D & S. I deserve better. You deserve better. So let the D & S drift on by as you keep you eyes on the prize.

My first word of advice is to stop trying to do it all. Yes it’s easier said than done so here is a more realistic piece of advice.

Delegate.

Maybe that’s not realistic either so here is my final word on how to cope it all as a working single mom.

Let it go.

Delegate Everything to Give Others a Chance to Help You Cope

That’s what I do. I delegate tasks to my kids, my friends, my family, or anyone who I feel can and is willing to help or I simply let it go. The world will not end and I won’t get labeled the worst mom in the world if I don’t do it all.

My kids are older now so I can delegate the task of cleaning their room, the living room, the kitchen, the car; ok basically the entire house. When they were younger I felt like a terrible mom if I didn’t do everything and the house wasn’t spic and span.

I felt guilty and depressed because my house often looked like a hurricane hit it. But I was working and going to school full-time; trying to study and take care of my small children. My mom made me feel guilty whenever she visited and I did my best to try to please her and meet her standard.

Let It go to Save your Sanity

Finally, I let it go and let myself off the hook. I gave up trying to be super mom. I let the dishes and vacuuming go until I had the time (and energy) to do it.

If I had the money at the time I would have hired someone to come in and clean for me. These days if you can catch a good Living Social or Groupon deal, you might find a cleaning service for $25. I say treat yourself to it and relax your mind.

Be Selfish with Your Time and Limit Kid Activities

Another way to cope with it all is to forget about putting your kid in every sports, dance, or art activity. Those things will eat up your time. Decide if you want them in an activity and if so choose one thing per child and alternate seasons. If you have two children choose on activity and rotate every three months or so. This way you only have to get one child to one activity after school or on the weekend. You don’t get overwhelmed and you free up time to re-energize in the evenings and on the weekend.

A Single Mom Sanity Saver Case Study

A single mom friend of mine is in school, working, active in church, taking care of four kids and was burning out. She felt guilty that she wasn’t spending time with the kids and couldn’t help them with homework and get her homework done.

Homework Help Solutions

I encouraged her to do her homework with the kids so she could be available to help them. She would be setting a good example for them by diligently doing her homework. It was also a way to spend time with them too.

To Cook or Not to Cook

I advised her to stop trying to cook full meals each night. It is okay to have quick meals of breakfast for dinner, burgers or hotdogs with chips, or a bowl of cereal occasionally.

Getting a Nap to Energize Your Life

To get extra sleep, I encouraged her to nap on the sofa while the kids watched a movie a couple days a week. She could let them know in advance that she might fall asleep while watching the movie because she needed a little extra rest. This teaches kids respect and compassion as well as how to take care of their bodies. She would be present for the kids while taking care of herself.

Being responsible for doing it all is challenging and even overwhelming. But managing your life by adopting new ways of thinking and doing things can tame your runaway life.

Last week there were about ten single moms on a the Ask RichSingle Momma Anything single mom support call. I had a great time talking with all of them and answering their questions.

The thing about being a single mom is there is this sense of isolation and feeling that no one understands. I’ve had many days like this where if I could just talk to someone who understood I would feel so much better. That is why I am doing these calls. We need someone to talk to about the challenges we face everyday.

The call focused mostly on financial issues but it also covered how to get through life successfully. You can check out the RichSingleMomma Facebook Page to find out everything we talked about.

Here is a video clip I did early this week about the call.

Join us this Sunday and every Sunday for the Single Mom Support call at 9pm (EST). Here is the call-in information:

Dial-in – (218) 339-2500
Enter Access Code – 1032131#

If you are unable to join the call a recording will be available later.

Maid Buy This at Allposters.com

I’m trying out a new segment. It’s all about keeping it real for myself and for my readers.

The reality is, I am not a maid. I don’t want to be a maid. I was not created to wait on anyone, much less my children, hand and foot.

You are a Mother, Life Coach, and Motivator…not a Maid

I believe I am here to be a life coach for my kids.

• I coach them about the realities (and beauty) in life.
• I teach them how to live and survive on their own.

Part of that means they have to learn how to clean up after themselves, learn how to cook, do their own laundry, learn how to shop, choose their own clothes, etc.

Stop Feeling Guilty and Trying to Do it All

I see too many moms, especially single moms feeling guilty because they don’t have the energy to do everything for their families and be perfect.

A long time ago I felt the same way and it nearly drove me crazy. But I had a reality check and adopted the mindset that I was not the maid, but I am the

• CEO
• Household Manager
• Queen of my home

Be the CEO and Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

I learned to delegate age-appropriate tasks to the kids and do the things they couldn’t possibly do like cook at least three meals a week (nope, I don’t cook everyday) and drive to places we wanted to go.

Because I didn’t shoo my kids away when I cooked they learned how to prepare simple meals for themselves or the family. Years ago this is how kids learned, side-by-side with their parents. It’s how I learned.

The Benefits of Being the Queen Bee and Training Them Well

Now my kids cook and serve me meals to give me a break sometimes. I love it when my son asks me if I want something to eat or drink and he brings me a plate or cool glass of juice. He loves doing it for me and I praise him in return. He will make some woman very happy one day.

So take a page from my book of reality ladies. Stop killing yourself by slaving away from morning to night. Trash the maid mentality and assume the Household Manager mindset. The kids are your household helpers and will be thankful that you taught them how to survive and thrive once they leave your nest.

Now go sit down somewhere and have a great weekend!

Today many people turn their thoughts to New Years resolutions. They plan to lose weight, find love, make more money.

The gym is packed in January with well meaning people, but by February it’s back to life as it always is. That may be your goal but I want to suggest an alternative.

I want to suggest that this year you plan to lose fear and failure. I don’t know about you but it was my companion for a time in 2012. I complained at times but I had to go through the process of letting it go.

In 2013 I am committed to living fearlessly and fabulously. What that looks like to you and me may be different.

When I was a teen and young adult I was not afraid to take calculated risks. I learned that is how I accomplished many things. It was scary sometimes but mostly fun. I want to get that fearlessness back this year.

I used to feel bad and ashamed about some of the things I did and went through. (*cough* being a single mom) I thought it would always be seen as failure.

But I had a revelation or aha moment recently. I realized that every so-called shameful, bad thing, or failure was a chapter or experience in my amazing life! It has added color and depth, not to mention memories for my golden years. I have lived my life and I have no regrets.

Each experience was a lesson and I’m grateful for each moment of agony, excitement, and risk-taking. It made me who I am today…a perfectly imperfect person.

So I’m looking forward to the adventure that awaits me in 2013.

It will be filled with crazy, sexy, delicious, lovely moments. It will be fearless and fabulous. Educational and risky at the same time. But that’s life. It’s not perfect but I’m not perfect either.

Living life is what we do. Live it.

Make the best choices possible to have great quality of life. But I hope and pray you will just live.

The past is over. You can’t go back and fix it. You can only live each moment with all your strength.

Cherish it.

Guard it from negative people.

Prepare to be amazed!

Well I’m back in school and I’m loving it (no this is not a McDonald’s commercial)! I just love learning and I love it when my learning increases my earning potential. This photo is of the books I am using for my Java Programming course. I will be a certified Java Programmer after I finish the class and take the exam.

Are you wondering why I’m taking Java programming of all things? Welp, it’s for a couple of reasons. First because it’s the foundation class for the mobile application development course I’m going to be taking. Second, because it’s FREE!!! Yep, I said free. I’ll get to how that’s possible a little later. But first let me answer why I’m taking this class after I’ve published a book which should increase my earning potential.

I’m an IT Geek So I Say It Loud and Proud!

I love ideas, I love graphic design, and I love technology. I’m an IT (information technology) professional in real life so this is a perfect fit for me. I will be designing mobile applications (the kind you have on your smart phone) once I complete the course. Developing mobile apps will make me giddy with happiness because it combines all the things I love. Plus, I get to earn a pretty penny (or lots of pennies) on top of that.

The Earning Potential is Phenomenal

How much? Well let me put it this way; it is rumored that ESPN paid $100k to get their Fantasy Football app created. That is not chump change. The average app cost anywhere from $5,000-$10,000 to be developed. This is for a custom app. So for me, the earning potential runs in the six-figures if I develop apps for medium to large companies. If create my own apps the earning potential is greater because I get all the profits. Some app developers are earning millions…you remember Angry Birds don’t you?

How I Get to Go to School for Free

I am confident my education will pay off in huge dividends. The best part is I get to go to school for free. I bet you were waiting for that part. Well a few months ago I wrote about losing my job. I was out of work for a year and collecting unemployment. Each week I had to submit my report so I could get the check. One day I was on the DOL (department of labor) website and decided to look into training.

I called the office and got information about the WIA (Workforce Initiative Act) training programs. I was told I may be eligible for the program and to show up at the designated place at the designated time for an information session. I went and had to complete paperwork as well as turn in other information.

That was in June or July of this year. I was told it would be a while before I knew if I was accepted because funding had to come in from the State. Getting accepted into the program meant I could choose a school and the State would pay all expenses including books and certification exams. The point is to get people on unemployment back to work by upgrading their skills.

Back in School for a Short Time to Earn More Money for a Lifetime

Long story short….I got accepted into the program. I chose the school I wanted to attend and started more paperwork. The school I chose encourages their students to start their own business so they have a session to teach and provide entrepreneurial skills. So here I am, back in school for about a 4-6 weeks to learn Java programming and mobile app development. I will get my certification and begin a new career path that will net me more money as I continue to journey toward financial freedom.

The moral of the story? Never stop learning!

Are you back in school? Do you have a technical certificate or degree?

How do you plan to increase your earning potential in 2013 and beyond?

I’m very exctited to tell you that I’ve finished my new book, No More Crumbs. I got the proof copy yesterday to review and as soon as I approve it you will be able to buy a copy on Amazon.com.

I wrote the book because I wanted to address the issue so many smart, beautiful women, like you and me, face when it comes to relationships. We are notorious for picking guys that make us cry, make us angry, and make us depressed. We are single moms because we choose the wrong guy. But this book will show you how to become a relationship genius!

I was on a cycle for years where I chose one crummy guy after another. I was making myself crazy until I jumped off the merry-go-round and decided my sanity was more important than keeping my bed warm at night.

So No More Crumbs: How to Stop Dating (and Mating) for Crumbs and Get the Cake You Deserve in 10 Crucial Steps, was born. Yep it’s a long title but women need answers right now. You want to know the signs of a potentially crummy relationship and you want the skills to choose quality men.

I’m not going to blab on about the book because you can’t get until next week. In the meantime, you can like my page on Facebook and like me on Twitter. My website is SamanthaGregory.com. Go on over and grab the free ebook featured there.