AJ, my, darling son, almost lost his “son” privileges this morning. He was fussing about having to wipe up some juice. He didn’t spill it (I think I did accidentally) and he shouldn’t have to get it up. He was the one who discovered it.
I told him to get it up because we all live here and have to help out. He got made and said he didn’t want to live here (at my house) any more. I told him that was fine and that he should find someone to go home with today because I wouldn’t be picking him up (hehe).
He looked a bit confused and nervous then he went to get some juice. I made him put it back because since he was no longer living here he couldn’t have any of my food. This was upsetting for him. He wanted to eat the waffles and sausage he prepared but I told him no and that he should leave right now. I started leading him to the door and he fell all out saying he wanted to stay. (LOL!!!)
He forgets sometimes I guess…
AJ is funny anyway so situations like this are even more hilarious. He should know by now that he can’t say things like that. I am going to act on it when he least expects it….I suppose not being able to eat the waffles was the last straw for him. He can’t live without his waffles.
Some would say that my tactics are a bit extreme. I don’t think so because as a single mother I need all the leverage I can get early on. My son will one day turn into a very large young man. He could over power me (or at least attempt to) very easily one day. I have to begin brainwa….er training him to respect me (read fear me) now so that he understands that Mom is not someone he can run all over.
It is important to establish authority early in my relationships with my children. They know that I am the person in charge. They depend on me to eat, be clothed, have a bed to sleep in and though I am happy to do it because I love them I will not allow them to think they are entitled to it.
I’ve seen too many parents who allow their children to run all over them and bend over backward to give them every little thing they ask for. The kids don’t have any household responsibilities or obligation to be respectful. The parents aren’t teaching them basic home training and the kids get out into the world and act a fool. Then someone else has to “whip” them into shape later.
Parents do their children a disservice when they don’t train them or teach them self-discipline. They are raising gimme children in a gimme world. That is not good for anyone.
Before the AJ incident, my daughter asked if we could go shopping this weekend. I asked her why and what did she want. She said it was so we could have mother-daughter time (Awwwww….) and so I could buy her friend a birthday present and get her some jeans (Oh…..). Of course there was a catch; you had to know that.
So I tell her that we might get to go if the house is cleaned before 1pm. “Clean? What do you mean”, she says. I am incredulous because this child knows what clean is. I play the game and tell her that the floors have to be vacuumed, the bathrooms cleaned… ”Bathrooms? What bathrooms?”, she asks.
I am getting irritated and finally say (with a “slightly” raised voice), “Look! You want to go to the shopping right?” She nods her head. “Well if you want me to do something for you, you have to do something for me!” Then I went into my usually never-ending rant about whatever it is I am agitated about. She was glad her brother came in and started the incident….
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
