In part one I told you about my foundation in the church, the bad decisions I made, my early career days and progression in pay. I also shared my decision to relocate after my son was born.
Here is the rest of the story in my journey toward self-sufficiency and financial independence as a single mom.
I changed jobs and began working at the college I would eventually graduate from. I enrolled in an evening program that would allow me to work and go to school. Eventually, I changed programs and started school full-time.
I continued working part-time and taking care of my children. Through connections I was able to find childcare for my daughter and my sister kept my son for a couple of years.
More Detours But Determination Ruled My Life
I went through a really rough patch during this time that almost broke my and my children’s spirit. We got through it and I never quit school, though it would have been understandable if I had.
I graduated with honors at the end of my program and got a full time position at the company I had an internship through. During my internship I was making just over $12 an hour. After the internship my pay jumped to over $17 an hour. Within a year I was promoted and my pay jumped again to over $20 an hour.
Determination’s Great Payoff
I was able to purchase a house and a new car two years after I graduated and was no longer dependent on child support. Through it all I remained focused on my goal of self-sufficiency and financial independence. I continued to learn and grow professionally and pick up skills that make me very marketable today.
Though I made terrible choices in men I made good decisions in my career. Today I am a consultant and freelance technical writer. I can command a high hourly rate now and live very comfortably with my children in one of the better areas of town.
My car is almost paid for and I am back in school training for a career in the healthcare industry. This change will increase my earning potential and allow me to have more financial independence.
My Future is Bright!
I am planning to buy another home in a couple of years, but right now I am enjoying the mental freedom of not having to deal with maintenance issues and yard work. I believe it’s all about choices and making decisions that fit into the life I am creating for me and my children.
From the beginning of this single parent journey I began making choices that would position me for success. I haven’t always done things perfectly or made the best decisions. But I kept my eye on my ultimate goal; to be financially independent and raise my children in a healthy environment. Every decision I’ve made systematically moved me toward those goals. Prayer, perseverance, and faith as well as support from family and friends got me where I am today.
Every Single Mom Can Become Self-Sufficient and Financially Free
I believe it is possible for every woman who finds herself in a position of single parenthood to create a great life for herself and her children. There is nothing stopping you except disbelief and fear.
If you will push through those monsters you can do anything. Even if they continue to ride your back you can do anything you want to do. I did it despite going through abusive relationships and meeting people who tried to discourage and sabotage me. But I’ve learned that we can be the biggest saboteur of our dreams.
Don’t believe the lie that says you cannot be self-sufficient and financially free. Don’t believe the people who tell you this is all there is for you. Don’t give in to the fear that tells you, life as a single mom is too overwhelming. There will be days when it feels that way but it will not last.
You CAN Re-Invent Your Life and Begin Again
There were days when the dark cloud of depression was so heavy on me I could not sleep at night. There were times when I wanted to end it all. But I thought about my children and my love for them. They did not ask to be born into this world so I owed it to them to create a better life for them by becoming whole and the best I could become.
I am still a work in progress. I still have my failures, but I get up and start again. If there is nothing else you get from this article get this: You can ALWAYS start again. You can ALWAYS re-invent yourself. You just have to make the decision to begin again and create the life you want.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Inspiring! Thank you for sharing. The thread that runs throughout is perseverance and hard work AND education. All three are necessary and any one or even any two without the other will often fail to produce the desired result.
I think a lot about how someone who is financially poor can lift themselves from the grip that poverty seems to have and that can actually hold a person down like a physical force squashing your dreams; and giving up is just so much easier than getting up every morning and continuing the good fight. It is a fight that can be exhausting and, based on your personal story, you know exactly what I am talking about!
So hard, in fact, that many give up or even cannot get started.
This is Father’s Day and I think about my own Dad, now deceased. I was born in West Texas, my Dad had an eighth grade education and was proud to be the best educated member of his family. He was a first generation Mexican-American and picked crops to support our family.
I have a graduate degree, receive a generous pension from a long career in the Federal Government, and I am financially independent. America is truly the land of opportunity, and of course it still is even in the face of the country’s present financial woes. But that doesn’t mean success is not hard work! Congratulations and thanks, again.
This is a wonderful encouragement! Thank you for sharing your story, Samantha. Congratulations on never, ever giving up. =)
I love your conclusion – and I agree wholeheartedly – you can ALWAYS reinvent yourself and start again. As many times as necessary. And, I love how you remain very real and transparent by stating that you continue to make your mistakes, but you stay focused on your goals and refuse to surrender!!
We simply need to get back up and start putting one foot in front of the other. Again and again.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Kris
“You CAN re-invent your life and begin again”
I’m going to carry this with me. I need to carry this with me, especially at this present time when I feel like my path is a continuous circle. As someone above stated, fighting the good fight is extremely exhausting, and its even more exhausting when you are fighting while battling major depression. Thank you for the encouragement to take it all one round at a time!