Step 1: Love yourself Self love is not about being selfish and arrogant. It’s not about entitlement or thinking the world owes you something because you are all that. Self love is about recognizing your unique contribution to this world and embracing it with a heart filled with love.
For single moms this can be challenging. If you have heard many negative things about you your entire life it’s hard to see anything good about yourself, much less see your unique contribution to the world. If that has been your challenge, I encourage you to take a closer look at your heart, body, and mind.
See yourself from a different perspective; especially without the false lens that you or others have placed over your eyes. When you begin to see the real you take the time to embrace every part, even the “bad” parts.
Recognize that there is nobody else in the world like you. There is no one who looks like you or behaves like you. There is no one else that has the mix of talents and skills that you have. Some things about you are yet to be discovered and it is a journey, but it’s worth it to take the time to look, then love yourself.
When I was a young girl I had been told so many times that my nose was too big and that my skin was too dark. I thought I was ugly and could not find anything good about me. I was told I was mean and hateful so I felt ashamed and shunned.
I became quiet and reserved because I didn’t’ want to make people angry with me or reject me. These little rejections left a deep scar in my heart and there was no one to counteract what I had been told.
It was much later that I realized that all the negative things people said about me weren’t true. My nose is not too big and my skin is not too dark. I am not ugly, mean, or hateful but I am beautiful, kind, and loving.
It took a lot of processing and seeing me through the lens of God’s love to begin to accept and love myself. There are still some things that I could change about myself but I will do them because I want to and not because others can’t accept these things about me.
Watch this space for the next steps.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Loving one’s self is the springboard for giving love to others. Loving one’s self means that you have self-respect, ability to accept and correct your shortcomings for the good people who surround you and who are dear to you. It is in accepting who we are as persons that we begin to appreciate what we have and not wish for anything more beyond our control.