This it the first Wednesday Web Round-up. I’ve decided to features story snippets from around the internet by and about single moms. This is all in an effort to bring to light news, issues, and the amazing single moms on the Interwebs.

If you come across any good stories share them in the comments or over on the RichSingleMomma.com Facebook page.

Leave a comment below about any of the stories that made you made or jump for joy.

How to Be A Smarter Mom (Not A Martyr Mom!) Post-Divorce

09.27.2013

So, you got a divorce and now you have a raging case of parental guilt. You want to make up for the hell your kids have endured, but you’re…

5 Things You Should Never Say To A Single Mom

09. 5.2013

Being a single parent, particularly a single mother, and identifying yourself as such, means constantly being open to criticism, not only…

Single Parent Kids Under Fire

‘Single parent kids likely to have behaviour issues’ – Pune Mirror  Schools grapple with a wide range of behavioural problems in children, from disruptive talking in the classroom to fighting and name-calling. But with the rising number of single parent children in schools, many school counselors in the city feel that …

Single Mom Poverty Rising it Seems

Government policy is forcing single parents into poverty – New Statesman  When Liza says ‘single parent’, her face changes and the heaviness of the stigma darkens her features. But in her eyes is a sharp defiance. Too often lone parents are caricatured in the press and by politicians, particularly if they are women, and …

Single Moms in the Hot Seat

Newspaper editor blames decline of his industry on single mothers – Bangor Daily News  Chris Powell, the managing editor of the local Connecticut newspaper the Journal-Inquirer, has an interesting theory as to why nobody wants to buy his newspaper anymore. It’s not the Internet’s fault, Powell wrote in an op-ed in his own newspaper this …Single mothers to blame for newspaper decline, claims

Single Moms Policy Changes

Julia Gillard defends single parent benefit change – The Guardian   Former prime minister Julia Gillard defended her controversial changes which moved single parents off their pension and on to the unemployment benefit Newstart, but she accepted Newstart was “too low”. “I am going to stand up for it as a decision of …

6 Ways You Know You’re a Single Mom

You have become an expert favor-asker. You used to be reluctant to ask for help. You hate feeling vulnerable. Being a single parent means throwing that to the wind or perishing. Of course, being the parent of a sick kid also means throwing that …6 Ways You Know You’re a Single Mom – Chicago Now

Single Mom Opinion Panel

Panel: Families with one parent on rise – Columbia Daily Herald Community leaders discussed what they feel is a lack of parental involvement and responsibility in childrens’ lives. Scott Gaines, assistant director of Maury County Schools; Maury County Circuit Court Judge Stella Hargrove and Rev. Trent Ogilvie of …

Single Mom Profiles

Erika Burkhart – single mom, graduate student – Press Herald  Erika Burkhart, 33, is a single mom and nurse practitioner student interested in purchasing insurance in the new marketplace established under the Affordable Care Act. click image to enlarge. Erika Burkhart and her 18-month-old daughter, Lumi Stone …

Single Mom Dating

Ask Tamara: Single Parent Dating – Eurweb.com Ask Tamara: Single Parent DatingEurweb.comI am a single mother with three children and I am finding it extremely hard to date! First, I don’t know where to find quality dates. Second, I can’t seem to find the time between little league and dance class. By the end of the week I am pooped and …

Single Moms and Political Ignorance

Every Struggling Single Mom Ted Cruz Has Ever Met Apparently Works At A … – Huffington Post 1K Every Struggling Single Mom Ted Cruz Has Ever Met Apparently Works At A …Huffington PostStruggling single moms might work in banks or nursing homes, run small businesses, sell clothing or insurance, repair cars, drive trucks, move boxes in a warehouse, deliver packages, teach, conduct research or fill any number of other occupations in …Read More

Single Mom Statistics…Again

4.1 Million Single-Mother Families Are Living In Poverty: Census – Huffington Post 300+ NPR4.1 Million Single-Mother Families Are Living In Poverty: Census Huffington Post WASHINGTON — Even as the economy shows signs of improvement and poverty levels off, new U.S. c

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My son is driving me to the brink!

Now that he is 13 years old and a few inches taller than me he thinks he’s grown and tells me so, quite often, while comparing our heights. I firmly let him know being grown is not about how tall you are but how mature you are. He just shrugs and walks away.

But back to why he is driving me to the brink. I am about to air some of his dirty laundry for the sake of illustrating an important parenting point so don’t judge me (or him).

When His Mess Disrupts My Peace There is H*ll to Pay

My creative son the Roman soldier. Everything made from cardboard and scrap fabric. Gotta love ‘em!

Like mother like son. (This is when he was shorter than me…about a year ago)

My son is organizationally challenged but very creative. He gets it honestly from me but his mess is on a whole other level. I mean clothes everywhere and no matter how much I threaten to throw them all away, he is content with his mess.

I’m not one of those mothers who picks up behind him or nags him to clean everyday. My minimum request is to pick up your stuff and make sure there are no offensive odors coming from the room. Being driven to the brink is when his mess spills over into other parts of the house.

“Pizza under my sofa?”

“Really dude?”

” Unbelievable!”

Laying Down the Law Like Only a Ninja Momma Can

His sister ratted him out and I latched on the back of his arm (you know that really tender spot back there) like Cujo. Okay not that badly but I wanted to. I pinched and held on for a good minute while driving my point home about not leaving food under my furniture.

He took it like a little man and refused to cry or let a tear fall but his eyes got pretty round and he understood my point. I asked him what he has to say about it. “I’m sorry” was his response and “I won’t do it again” was his reply when I asked, “what else”.

The Prayer that Would Save Him From Ruin

He is just too cute! I prayed I wouldn’t spoil him for the second woman in his life.

Who could resist the face of this little prince?

My kid was born handsome and I knew if I didn’t put myself in check I would ruin him for the world and any woman he ended up with. So I said a prayer for self-control so I wouldn’t be blinded by his cuteness and spoil him rotten. It’s worked so far but I still have to remain focused on the goal.

I am raising a man, a world citizen who will l eventually leave my home and become a member of society. He can’t make it if I let stuff like pizza under the sofa slide by without consequences.

Lecturing Teaching Personal Responsibility

Later I lectured him on the importance of being responsible and taking initiative. Keeping his room clean and learning are his only real jobs, while going out and working to provide a roof over his head and food to eat is my job.

He then mumbled something (because he dare not say it out loud) about learning being too hard. *Sigh* Big mistake to say that buddy!

Enlightening the Young Grasshopper About Learning

“Too hard?”

“Learning is too hard?”

Well you know I went into another 10 minute diatribe about learning. I explained that learning is something he is constantly doing. When he watches movies and tv shows (with the subtitles on) on Netflix and Amazon Prime he is learning.

When he plays video games he is learning. When he talks to people like grandpa and his aunt he is learning.
When he goes on YouTube and learns how to make a sheath for his new sword out of duck tape he is learning.

“So learning is easy and I don’t ever want to hear you say it’s hard again.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“You no longer have an excuse for not learning because it’s easy.”

Cracking the Whip and Doing Chores Builds Lifelong Character

After my lecture, er…teaching moment, I gave him cleaning instructions and left him to it.

Was he angry? Yes.

Did I care? Nope.

Why?

Because his temporary anger is less important than the long term lessons he will learn and that will equip him for the future.

I’m not his friend but his parent and life coach. Like a dojo master of life I must be tough when I need to be and kind/compassionate when the situation calls for it.

I’ve think I’ve learned to find a balance with both my kids. They each require different coaching styles from me. Where one can handle being fussed at the other dissolves into tears. One is stubborn and tough while the other is more pliable. Knowing their personalities is important in this process. Building character is the goal regardless of their personality because it is what matters at the end of the day.

How do you deal with your son (or daughter) when he/she threatens to drive you to the brink?

My back to school shopping and planning are a little different from the run of the mill activities of other moms those time of year. My kids are home schooled so I don’t go through the regular routine of doing back-to-school shopping where I frantically run around trying to get everything on the teacher’s list. I used to do it and it was very stressful. These days I go at my own pace and purchase what I want. I have specific things I want my kids to learn this year but it’s not a regimented structure like you find in most classrooms. In essence we Un-school meaning my kids learn through what naturally interest them. I provide a little guidance and make things available to them to explore but I don’t plan their days or make them sit and finish endless assignments.

Modified Back to School Shopping

With that being said I do my shopping based on my loose plan for the year. I still need the standard supplies like paper, pens, and other stuff but I also keep in mind the things we will do that will give my kids a rich learning experience. This includes trips to the museum or out of town, access to great content online, testing fees for my high school daughter, learning tools (aka toys) for my son’s projects just to name a few.

Sample Curriculum

Here is a sample of his curriculum for this semester. He’s pretty excited about it.

Funding My Back to School Shopping

Despite my lose education program and somewhat simple back to school list I still want to keep things affordable. This year I’m using the BlueBird card to fund my shopping. I got my card a few weeks ago and loaded it with money to keep my spending in check. I used the mobile app to load money from my regular bank account. The process was pretty simple as noted in my screenshots below.

There are three ways to load money to the card including: mailing a check, scanning a check, connecting to a checking or savings account, or connecting to a debit card. I chose to scan a check and use a debit card.

Scanning a check was the initial way I added money. It took about 5 days for it to clear/appear. The process was pretty painless but if you want money instantly added it’s best to use another method like from a debit card connection. There is a $2 fee to add money if you use this method.

You can also reload the card at Walmart. I haven’t tried that yet but it is an option.

So with my card loaded I can shop for the things I need. It’s also helpful to see a running tab of things I bought so I can budget for next semester or next year.

Adding Money to Bluebird Card

Open the mobile app and  click Add Funds then follow the directions

Click the funding source you want to use

To connect your Debit Card enter your card number and expiration date then click Next

Give your Debit Card a name

Adding funds by check

Enter your checking information

Enter the amount you want to add

Scan your filled out check (not shown for privacy reasons)

Your funds will be added to your Bluebird account in 5-7 business days.

One of my biggest fears when my children were young was that someone would try to take them away from me. Whether it was their father, the state, my parents, or anyone who thought they could do a better job than me.

I’m learning that this is the fear of many single mothers because they have either been threatened or they suppose they are not good enough mothers. I thought I was not an adequate provider or nurturer for a long time so I was driven to put myself in a better position financially. It was tough to feel this pressure because it added to the stress I was already feeling, which contributed to deeper depression.

A Light Bulb Moment for Me

One day I realized that no one can take care of my kids like I can. They can’t know what is best for them because I trust myself to raise them with love, nurture, and wisdom. It became clear that many people who judged me for being a single mom thought they could do a better job because they had more money, a so-called more stable environment, or a house with two adults in it.

Believing a Lie Lead to Self-Doubt and Depression

I bought into the lie that I was inadequate because I didn’t do things the traditional way. I didn’t regiment my kid’s lives by keeping them on a strict schedule. I didn’t have the neatest apartment. I didn’t attend all the PTA meetings or wasn’t a room parent. I compared myself to people who seemed to have it all together and tried to live up to their standards.

Unfortunately I dug a deep hole of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I forgot about all the good things I did for my kids like shower them with hugs and kisses, apologize when I was grumpy so they would see I was human, sit and talk with them about their little issues, teach them how to choose their own clothes and shoes instead of doing everything for them, and make them feel important. I did so many things right but I was focused on all the wrong things others pointed out about my life as a single mother.

Points Missed for Being an Awesome Mother

They didn’t see that I was working and going to school full-time. They failed to see how I helped others with things they simply didn’t know how to do. They couldn’t see me being creative with meals or shopping on the limited income I had. They could not see me pouring positive thoughts into my children’s lives or understand the struggle I had to put them first when my ex targeted them for abuse.

Standing My Ground and Fighting Judgment for Being a Single Mom

Today if anyone dared judge me for being a single mother I’d laugh in their face. If anyone attempted to take them from me they would have a mama bear to contend with. My kids would fight tooth and nail to stay with me because they know that with mom, there is love, acceptance, and security.

What to do if Someone Threatens to Take Your Kids

If you are struggling with someone who is questioning your value as parent, challenge them to do what you do 24/7. Stand your ground against the controlling behavior and emotional abuse they are subjecting you to, because that is what it boils down to.

If someone is threatening to take you to court be sure to document everything they say and do as well as how you have been the best parent possible for your children. Stay above negativity and act as a mature woman would. You have the power to fight against threats if you will only believe you can.

If you’ve made mistakes in the past acknowledge them, ask forgiveness if appropriate, and forgive yourself. You are a different person now so don’t let anyone throw your past in your face.  Everyone deserves a second chance and you have the ability to reinvent your life so you and your children can thrive and not just survive.

Have you ever been threatened over child custody? How did you handle it? What advice would you give to other moms?

By Blythe Lipman

You made it; your baby has graduated into toddlerhood. And now you’re looking forward to a year with fewer expenses.  Soon diapers will be a thing of the past, the baby food mill can be put in storage along with the Exersaucer, bouncy seat and baby swing. And watching your little bundle of joy run around like a whirlwind makes your heart smile. But wait, he’s not that steady on his feet and just knocked over your favorite flower vase. That will be $35 to replace.  And is he rubbing his ear? Not another ear infection.  He just finished his medicine. Sound familiar?

The 2013 figures from the Department of Health and Human Services (based on a U.S. Department of Agriculture survey) (http://www.hhs.gov) calculate that the basic annual cost of raising a child is $4,020, which doesn’t sound so bad until you add the cost of raising that same kid to age 18 and figure in the 30 year average inflation rate of 3% which brings us to an average $234,900 for those earning between $59,410 and $102,870.

Yikes…these numbers are pretty scary. And they don’t even include those surprise expenses during the toddler years. Here are just a few that could rear their ugly heads.

Unexpected Food Costs – You want your toddler to eat but he is so picky. And when he doesn’t like something, he refuses to eat. But you’ve already used this week’s food money. Now what?

• Don’t get into the habit of preparing a second or third meal for your toddler when he won’t eat.  Continue to offer him a variety of foods, but have one stand-by. In my house if my little ones wouldn’t eat what I made they could have yogurt. All that extra food costs money.

• Let him help you prepare the meals. Mixing the mashed potatoes and tasting, pouring the salad dressing on and just being a part of the process can tickle those toddler taste buds!

Unexpected Medical and Dental Bills – According to http://www.webmd.com toddlers can get an average of nine colds per year. But what about those chronic ear infections, head lice and unexpected trips to the ER? And that trip to the dentist for a chipped tooth. These all cost money. Think about the following:

• When your toddler needs antibiotics, ask the pediatrician if it’s okay to use generic.  They are much less costly.

• If your toddler will be on a medication long term, ask the pediatrician if he has any samples. Or contact the drug companies as many times they will have coupons or will work with you to lower the cost.

• Make sure you understand your family’s medical and dental insurance coverage, including trips to the ER.  One unexpected ER visit can mess up your budget for months.

Unexpected Repairs – You probably feel like your washer and dryer are already working overtime. And what’s that humming noise coming from the refrigerator? All your appliances need to be in tiptop shape when you have a toddler.  Here are a few tips to save your wallet:

• When you buy a new appliance, consider purchasing the service plan if it’s in your budget. It could be a lifesaver in the long run.

• If you are buying a second-hand appliance, don’t hand that money over until you plug it in and see that it’s in good working order.

• If you’re going to hire a handyman to fix a broken appliance, make sure to check his references. An “I can fix anything” neighbor could spell disaster in more ways than one.

Broken Toys, Knick Knacks and Valuables – Your toddler’s favorite lovey is lost and she can’t go to sleep without it. The wheels just fell off your son’s fire truck. And Grandma’s picture is smashed on the floor. That extra money to replace these things just isn’t there. Here are a few suggestions:

• If your toddler won’t go to sleep without her favorite blue bear, do yourself a favor and buy another one, just in case. Check Amazon.com, Ebay.com or local toy stores for the best prices. You’ll save yourself a lot of extra heartache and sleepless nights if you have a replacement. And remember to take the replacement on family trips.

• Rotate your toddler’s toys on a monthly basis so if something breaks you can pull out a surprise from last month. Old is new and fun and it’s easy to re-direct most toddlers to other activities.

• Toddlers are fast, compulsive and will knock things over. So put those valuables out-of- reach. It’s expensive to replace them and many can’t be replaced at all.

Having a savings is tough for most of us in this day and age. But putting away even $5 a week will add up and help when those unexpected costs arise. Toddlers grow up fast so enjoy every minute. Because before you know it, he’ll be asking for the keys to the car.

Blythe Lipman is the president of Baby Instructions. She is passionate about babies, toddlers and their parents. After working in the field for over thirty-five years, she wrote her fourth award-winning book, HELP! MYTODDLER CAME WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS, now available at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, Audible.com and all major bookstores. You can hear Blythe’s weekly radio show, Baby and Toddler Instructions each Wednesday, 11am EST @ www.toginet.com Blythe is available for in-home, video and telephone consultations. You can contact Blythe at [email protected] or call her office (480)-510-1453. Become her Fan on Facebook at http://bit.ly/IB7HTi and Twitter http://bit.ly/AcUiE4 and visit her website: http://www.babyinstructions.com

My son is an interesting character sometimes. But I give it to him for loving Bible-based animations. Blame it on me for turning him into a little monster but I’d rather him watch cartoons that have positive  messages and are commercial-free than let him watch anything else. Recently we received the Superbook DVDs in the mail much to his surprise. He was outrageously happy to finally get a box in the mail. He watch the first show right away and of course nothing could distract him. He was pretty much hooked and has decided they are his weekend shows to watch.

Superbook is an Old Favorite

We have a little history with the Superbook series. Superbook was one of my daughters favorite when she was younger. She saw all the old ones and loved and prefers them but my son likes the new series just as well. She is not crazy about the updated version and is very vocal about it. Call it being stuck in your ways or hanging on to the familiar. My son is not so picky because animation is animation and entertainment is entertainment, right.

I just like the fact that they teach great values and keeps my son’s attention. They’ve modernized the story which kids today can relate to. Overall I give the new Superbook series five stars for quality, values, and entertainment.

Getting a Super Semi-serious Review from the Guy Himself

After he watched a few of the DVDs I asked him a few questions about it. You can watch his answers in the video. He acted a little camera shy but the truth comes out.

Superbook is a product of CBN. It is currently available at Christian book stores and online.

The ABC Family stations have played the cartoons as well.

I received a review copy of the Superbook DVD series for review. My opinions are my own.