My Thoughts on the AC/Single Mom Controversy
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I’m kind of late with this bit of news about Ann Coulter, mostly because I just don’t care to tune in to mainstream news. But since this name kept popping up all over the internet I decided to investigate. Just this morning I watched the clip of her and Matt Lauer and I must say that she has some problems. To say that single moms are the reason for almost all of society’s problem is absurd. And to say that the widows of 911 are using their tragedy for political and financial gain is equally absurd. After a while all I heard was blah, blah, blah….
I refused to even mention her on my blog because I didn’t want to fuel that marketing machine. I’m sure that if it’s ignored it will go away like a spoiled child. Just like an empty wagon makes a lot of noise so does this story, the book, and it’s author.
She’s making money off this controversy and she’s laughing all the way to the bank because single moms are crying out, “unfair” and “how dare she”. My thought is, let her continue to spew her garbage, which is her right. In the meantime continue to be the best single mom you can. People like AC will continue to be misinformed and judgmental and one day they will crash and burn. You just can’t sling mud without getting some on yourself, now can you?
Until the likes of AC come up with some solutions to the problems they so happily broadcast, I will not waste my time promoting their cause, lining their pockets, or giving attention to their idiocy disguised as intelligence.
So what are some viable solutions? How can the problem be decreased? Who is really to blame?
The Solution?
I’d say education is one of the best solutions. There cannot be change until people are educated and that education is not always academic. Educate single moms, politicians, authors, and everyone else who is working from their limited perspective. Since we don’t live in a bottle and will interact with others it is important to learn about others.
Destroying America
How can politicians with a supposed “perfect” upbringing with mom and dad, know what it’s like to be raised by a single mom? How can an author whose husband hasn’t died know what a widow faces every single day of her life? How can the middle and upper class know the struggles that the lower class and poverty stricken people of society face each and every day? Instead of passing judgment and relying on statistics, why not sit down and have a conversation with those who are “destroying America”. The elitist propaganda of late is what is destroying America. This type of derisive politics is what is tearing the fabric of our society apart.
Single Moms for Eternity?
There will always be single mothers because there will always be men who leave, die, or simply refuse to marry the woman they impregnated. Sure the woman can refuse to have sex, they can insist on getting married first, they can bear the entire burden of the relationship (which usually happens); but until this same media (that the conservatives blame and at the same time control with their dollars) change the sex-infused messages in commercials, books, movies, and internet the cycle will continue.
It’s All About the Money
In our money hungry society, sex sells. Society tells young women that they have to be sexy to get a man and they have to give in to his coercion to keep him. Society also tells young men that sex is the end all, be all to life, especially at a time when their hormones are in high throttle mode. Society tells men that they have to work 60-70 hours a week to be worthy of being called a man so they miss the signs and queues that their sons and daughters are going in the wrong direction. Their daughters are dressing in scanty, sexy outfits and going out with their friends to meet boys. One thing leads to another and the girl gets pregnant. The father wasn’t there, leaving the mother to carry the burden of working, taking care of the home, and raising the kids single-handedly. Societal pressures squeeze the life out of families and eventually the single mom household is born.
Teaching Family Values
Society always wants to teach women family values but here is a news flash, they already know the family values. It is inbreed, practically a part of our DNA. It is men who need to learn this value of family. They are the ones who leave when the girl he’s pressured to sleep with him gets “knocked up”. They are the ones who deny the child is theirs. They are the ones who get restless and want to go find themselves. They are the ones who want and often must have more then one woman in their bed. They are the ones who suggest abortion and most likely perform it. So until men, the fathers, clergy, counselors, teachers, and peers, hold each other accountable and teach the family values that the likes of AC and other conservatives like her harp on and stop judging perhaps things will get better in the next 30 years.
But you know what? If they did that then they wouldn’t have anyone to blame for society’s ills now would they?
Note: My viewpoint is just a small sample of the problem. The reality is it will take prayer and proactive effort to change things. No one person or group of people is to blame for society’s ills. Every person must begin to change self and if you happen to be a single mom, simply instill that change of behavior in your children.
Samantha Gregory
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Wow, I didn’t hear about that either…its the same old line that a woman shouldn’t raise children without a man but not everyone has that choice and some are better off without a man there. No one to control them, harrass them, burden them or the children…and I know of plenty of women in nuclear families that are MUCH worst off than most of the single moms I know. People are stupid! And saying something like that just throws it out into the universe and you never know, you might be hearing of her divorcing in a few years and then she’ll know what its like to be a single mom.
You are so right Patrice. I guess she hasn’t learned that the same kind of judgement you use for others will be the same judgement you receive. Her husband might not be able to stand the pressure of all the press she’s getting and decide to walk out tomorrow. I wouldn’t wish that on her but she is treading on thin ice in terms of universal payback
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I’ve found that I am much better off raising my children alone than being in an abusive marriage. If I had met a man that would love and cherish me and willingly take good care of me and my kids I would opt for marriage. It would be a great atmosphere for raising children, but that didn’t and hasn’t happened.
So I’ll stay the way I am until I decide to change and no sooner just because a few misguided people say my peer group is causing all of society’s problems.
She is s-o-o-o stupid. I saw that interview, but chose to not dignify her comment with a response because controversy sells. And I refuse to help promote her book, one that I haven’t even read.
My initial reaction was how dare she. But, I quickly regained my bearings and reminded myself that my purpose is to help single moms redefine the way they see themselves, not how others see us. That’s like beating a dead horse.
I pretty much ditto what has been said. I was not familiar with her until I saw her on The View and was just like, “wow, she’s pretty ignorant.”
Although her views are ignorant and misguided, I still chose to blog about her and the situation… not for her, but for me. With the many voices of the world, I think its important for the voices of single moms to be present as well. View points are view points and truth is truth… its quite clear that single motherhood is much more than its portrayal, as are the many other lifestyles that exist in our society.
Thanks for this post! Conversations like these, between intelligent, articulate single mommas, are what will change the world’s perception of single motherhood. It is unfortunate that people like Ann Coulter are given such an audience and so much attention, when what she is spewing is so hateful and negative. Ignorance, combined with anger, is not a pretty picture. Your blog, and others like it, allow women with powerful life experiences, wisdom, and pride in our choices to share what we know and combat those negative stereotypes.
Lisa I was like you and said I would not fuel this controversy and let this woman sell even more books. But my opinionates self rose up and felt I had to have my say. I recognize that she has an agenda and chooses to take the low road to gain a few dollars. She won’t be any happier because of it. But I just want the single moms who read this blog to know that people like AC are powerless as long as we recognize our power and vital contribution to this society.
Blogs like ours will continue to empower and encourage single moms to overlook that kind of ignorance because we know the truth about our lives. This gives us strength to raise happy, well-adjusted children and future responsible, up standing citizens for this earth.
I agree Ms. Bar B. Our voices must be heard above the din of foolishness. We’ve been misrepresented for too long and blamed for way too much. So in choosing to blog about this woman’s accusations is our right because our voice is just as important as the next person’s. Hopefully the world will sit up and take notice someday of the positive contributions single moms have made in our world.
I am very glad to be a part of these conversations.
I recognize that the attention they (the Ann Coulters of the world) receive is well placed and purchased. It’s all about the bottom line, money, and unfortunately the negative fall out is last on the list of priorities.
When we share our lives and experiences through our blogs we compel the world to take a second look and stop judging.
I can definitely see how blogging about her ignorant self has built a comradeship amongst single mothers.
This site is excellent. I have been seeking this type of information to share with other single mothers.
I am also a single mom and often i think I offer my children better family values than many non single mother family units. I see too many unhappy kids that tell me all their troubles about their family life.