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Whether you’re looking to meet the right guy to start a family with, or you’re a single mom with little ones of her own, finding eligible guys who want the same things can be a challenge.
If you know in your heart that you want children, finding ‘the one’ means being able to read the signs as to whether or not the men you’re dating feel the same way. This can be tricky – after all, talking about kids and marriage on a first date is often considered a no-no.
But there are some ways to read a guy before you get too involved, to try and establish whether or not he’s on the same page. Here are some tell-tale signs he’s not into the idea.
He thinks the world is a terrible place
Some guys think that the world is full of bad people and inherent evil, and that bringing a child into it is a selfish thing to do. Guys like these often had terrible childhoods and are frightened of inflicting that pain onto someone else.
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He’s selfish
Then there are guys who are so wrapped up in themselves that they can’t imagine finding the time to raise kids. They’re too busy working long hours, going to the gym, and drinking with their buddies. They don’t want anything to tear them away from that!
He’s still a boy at heart
This kind of guy could never have kids because he’s too busy being a child himself. Maybe he still lives with his parents, spends his days playing video games or can’t cook anything without burning it. This is a sign that he may not be ready to bring kids into the world: there’s not enough room for the both of them.
He’s already got them
Sometimes you’ll meet a man who’s already a great dad – to someone else’s children. In some cases, he’ll be happy enough with the kids he already has and won’t be interested in starting a new family. This can be tough, as he’ll already have preconceived ideas of what it means to have kids, and may be burned by his own divorce or separation.
Ultimately, if finding a guy who wants to have kids – or who’ll help you raise your own – is a priority, then you’ll find that person. Have a look at a dating website, such as eHarmony.ca, where you can narrow your search to include people who want to make kids a priority.
If you’re interested in Catholic dating, or just looking for singles who want kids in your local area, there’s sure to be someone out there who sees eye-to-eye with you on the big issues. Continue to be patient and know that the right person is out there – you’re just going to have to look for him.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.