5 Reasons Why Fighting for Child Support is a Lost Cause

So you are upset and angry that your ex is not paying child support. It happens, but you are probably a bigger part of the problem than he is. I’ll explain how this is true shortly.

I just learned about a Facebook page/group that is focused on exposing deadbeat dads. I will not link to it here because I am not interested in adding fuel to the fire. The amount of venom on that page is enough to kill an entire city. But it’s pointless because the women just make themselves look bad.

Haven’t we learned the lessons from seeing Usher’s ex-wife? She went for his jugular and still lost the kids. Contrast this to Katie Holmes who handled her business in private and came out on top with a fat child support settlement. Tom Cruise’s annual $400k payment is nothing to sneeze at; yet women are showing their fangs over $400 a month. I’m not sitting in judgement but simply cry out for a little common sense!

Ladies have you stopped to consider that fighting for child support is a lost cause? Who really wins in a fight? How many single moms have really won by fighting their child’s father for money? How many children have lost a great mom in the process because she’s angry all the time?

Here are 6 reasons why fighting for child support is a lost cause:

1. You will be the only idiot screaming like a banshee

Do you really want to be one of those women who spends all her time being angry at and trying to make your baby daddy’s life miserable? Those women are crazy and you will look like them when you put your stuff out there about how he isn’t paying child support. The reality is you are no longer in control of your own life when you behave this way. You place your will in his hands and give him control (on a silver platter) each time you use energy to be angry with him.

2. He will grow resentful and you will still get nothing

Men are delicate creatures with fragile egos. They do not respond well to threats and embarrassment. Back them up into a corner and they come out swinging or resort to passive-aggressive behavior. He will do the exact opposite of what you want him to do no matter how much he loves his kids.

3. Breaking him down makes you look bad to any future man you want to date

This is something most women aren’t thinking about. I’m talking about extreme behavior here. Calling him names, dragging him to court time and time again, bad-mouthing him to the entire world is something that will follow you. Do you think a real man will want to be with you after he hears about how you treated the father of your child(ren)? He will think you will do the same thing to him and run in the other direction.

4. You never get to the root of the problem…

… your failure to choose a good man; the deadbeat is a reflection of your character and bad choices. This is a biggie…it’s tough to look yourself in the mirror and see who you really are. The reality is the people in our lives are a reflection of ourselves. So if you are only see how low-down and dirty he is, consider you might be seeing those characteristics in your own life. We only recognize drama if we have drama. In the same way we only recognize a low-down dirty man if we are that kind of woman. Like the kids say…It takes one to know one.

5. The kids always get the raw deal…their dad is gone physically and you are gone emotionally

Finally, the people who are truly hurt by all of this are the kids. They didn’t ask to come into this world. They are innocent and have to deal with your mess. They have to deal with your bad choice in a father for them and now you are making them live in a negative emotionally environment. At some point you have to grow up, put on your big girl panties, and take responsibility for the choices you made.

What’s the Child Support Solution?

The million dollar question is how do you get child support from a deadbeat dad. You don’t get child support from someone you label deadbeat. You only get child support from a man you believe is a decent person who has a vested interest in your child’s well being. You get child support through rational discussion, negotiation, and compromise.

If you happen to be dealing with a truly disinterested guy, you find a way to move on. You forgive yourself for getting involved with him in the first place and you turn your attention to the child you have to raise.

It’s hard and it feels like he owes you something for taking part in making a human life. Unfortunately, he doesn’t owe you anything but he is depriving himself of the opportunity to help raise and support a beautiful child.

Now it’s your turn. Do you think I’m wrong? Explain your answer. How has fighting for child support benefited you? Do you know anyone who has won child support and ultimately ended up happy?