Between managing work, providing for your family, and trying to squeeze in a moment for yourself, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of chronic stress.
That stress isn’t just in your head; it impacts your body, mind, and emotional well-being, often leaving you feeling stuck in survival mode.
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to stay in that place. Healing and thriving are within your reach, starting with your nervous system.
Nervous system regulation isn’t just science—it’s an act of self-love and rebellion against the burnout that society expects you to endure. By learning how to nurture your emotional and physical health, you can reclaim your power, build resilience, and create a life where you and your children can thrive.
Let’s break it all down: what nervous system regulation is, why it matters, and how simple, intentional practices can transform your daily life.
What Is Nervous System Regulation, and Why Does It Matter?
Your nervous system is like the control center for how you experience life. When stress hits—whether from trauma, financial pressures, or the heartbreak of a failed relationship—it activates your fight-or-flight response.
This is your body’s way of protecting you, but staying in that state too long can leave you feeling anxious, exhausted, or emotionally numb.
For single moms, this often shows up as:
- Constantly feeling on edge or overwhelmed
- Difficulty focusing or making decisions
- Shutting down emotionally to “just get through the day”
Sound familiar? You’re not alone, and more importantly, there’s nothing “wrong” with you.
These are natural responses to stress and trauma. The good news is, you can teach your body how to feel safe again.
Nervous system regulation helps you shift out of survival mode and into a state of calm, clarity, and connection.
Radical Self-Care: A Non-Negotiable for Healing Single Moms
Let’s get one thing straight: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
Radical self-care is about prioritizing your well-being unapologetically, even in the chaos of single motherhood.
Why?
Because when you’re regulated and grounded, you show up better—not just for your kids, but for yourself.
Here’s how nervous system regulation fits into radical self-care:
- It creates emotional safety. When you feel calm and centered, you’re better equipped to handle life’s curveballs without spiraling into overwhelm.
- It fosters resilience. You’re teaching your body and mind how to bounce back from stress, which is a powerful gift to yourself and your children.
- It models healthy coping. Your kids learn from you. When they see you prioritizing your well-being, they grow up knowing it’s okay to take care of themselves too.
Simple Ways to Soothe Your Nervous System
The beauty of nervous system regulation is that it doesn’t require hours of your day. You can start small and still see big changes. Try these practices:
1. Grounding Exercises
Take a moment to feel your feet on the ground. Literally. Stand still, breathe deeply, and imagine roots growing from your feet into the earth. This simple act can help you reconnect with the present moment and ease anxiety.
2. Breathwork for Instant Calm
Breathing is your superpower. Practice the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This signals to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax. Bonus: you can do this anywhere—while waiting in carpool or before a stressful conversation.
3. Gentle Movement
Your body holds onto stress. Release it with movement, whether it’s a 10-minute walk, some light stretching, or dancing in your living room to your favorite playlist.
4. Mindfulness Moments
Pause and tune into your senses. What do you see, hear, or feel right now? This practice pulls you out of ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, anchoring you in the present.
5. Journaling for Emotional Release
Sometimes, you just need to get it all out. Write freely about your feelings, even if it’s messy. It’s not about perfection; it’s about letting go of the weight you’re carrying.
Recognizing and Healing Trauma Responses
Trauma has a sneaky way of showing up in daily life.
Maybe you notice it as irritability when your kids are just being kids or the way you freeze when faced with a tough decision.
These are trauma responses, not flaws.
The key is to recognize them with compassion and start rewiring your reactions through nervous system regulation.
When you soothe your nervous system, you’re not just healing yourself—you’re breaking cycles. You’re showing your kids that it’s possible to face life’s challenges and come out stronger.
Why This Matters for You and Your Children
Healing yourself is the greatest gift you can give your children. When you regulate your nervous system, you create a ripple effect:
- Emotional safety: Your calm presence helps your kids feel secure.
- Stronger bonds: You’re more present and attuned to their needs.
- Resilience for the future: They learn how to cope with challenges by watching you.
You’re not just surviving anymore. You’re thriving, and your kids are thriving alongside you.
Take the First Step Today
You don’t need to have it all figured out to start. Pick one small practice—maybe a grounding exercise or a minute of mindful breathing—and commit to it today.
Celebrate that step because every bit of healing you do is a radical act of self-love.
Remember, you deserve to feel safe, loved, and whole—not just for your kids, but for yourself. Reclaiming your power through nervous system regulation isn’t just self-care; it’s your pathway to the abundant, joyful life you’re meant to live.
So, go ahead. Take a deep breath, and let’s begin.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.