Getting to the Other Side of Heartache
Recovering from soul crushing heartache is difficult when you have a child depending on you. It’s challenging to grieve a failed relationship when you have to change diapers, pack lunches, go to play 
dates, and read bedtime stories. During the day you’re on auto-pilot, but when your sweet baby is sleeping you are wide awake with memories that haunt you. It can feel like there won’t ever be a time when the pain isn’t so tangible. It’s not easy but there are things that you can do to move yourself towards a sense of normalcy and healing:
PRAYER
Prayer is something that you can do at any time of the day. It does not have to be formal or long it just has to be earnest and followed by an ounce of faith. Talk to God when those moments of silence become overwhelming. Ask for healing, strength and guidance while you are driving, working or sitting alone. When you are done praying believe- even if it’s just a little bit- that your prayers will be answered. Pray (and cry) as often as needed.
FOCUS ON YOUR CHILD(REN)
It is easy to wallow in your grief and let feelings of powerlessness and rejection consume you. But children have a way of pulling you out of your own head and making you focus on them. You may even find yourself learning from your child as you become immersed in their world.
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Let’s be honest: too much time spent watching Disney Junior and singing ‘Wheels on the Bus’ will drive you crazy. Take a timeout and reenergize by doing something you enjoy. What happens to a phone with a low battery? The same thing that happens to burnt out mommies.
FORGIVE YOURSELF
This step is the hardest. It is easy to blame yourself for everything that went wrong. This kind of thinking is rarely ever helpful. Accept that you gave your best. The past is done and you are allowed to move on.
There is no definitive time line for the healing process. It takes the brain a while to recognize and accept new patterns so you will probably relapse into moments of despair and mourning. Continue to press forward as there is something greater on the other side of your pain. You can do it and you deserve it.
