The digital age has given new generations of parents something extra to worry about:
How much screen time is too much?
Physicians, teachers and psychologists generally agree that spending inordinate amounts of time immersed in computers, smartphones or social media can negatively impact a child’s developing mind and body. A screen time study published recently in JAMA Pediatrics found a link between excessive screen time and later development milestones.
Other studies have associated digital overuse with teen depression, and the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued guidelines suggesting daily limits on screen time for different age groups.
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“It’s the responsibility of the parents to get control of this and guide their children, from a young age, on the positives and negatives of screen time,” says Christine Kyriakakos Martin (www.youvegotthisparenting.com), an early education expert and author of You’ve Got This! Keys To Effective Parenting For The Early Years.
“Parents can often think it’s acceptable for a young child to spend a couple hours with an iPad, but the type of education the iPad game is providing isn’t always the type of learning most needed at that stage.”
Martin has suggestions for how parents can manage screen time and decrease a child’s risk for screen-related health or developmental problems:
Distinguish screen time from play time.
Play is a fundamental learning tool for young children, but parents, Martin says, should not think of screens as toys for play time. “When screen time is limited and separated from other types of play, parents show their children the importance of setting boundaries, using their imaginations, and being active.”
Get involved.
Parents who engage with their children about on-screen activities can help them increase their communication skills and teach them how to navigate digital media. “Parents can talk with their children about the videos they watch and games they play like they would discuss characters and plotlines in a book,” Martin says. “When there is parental engagement like this, a child’s vocabulary and literacy skills develop and family communication gets stronger.”
Make mealtimes screen-free.
“Eliminate screens from the meal table, including when you’re out at a restaurant,” Martin says. “While it can be tempting to pack the iPads to have some adult conversation while you’re out to eat, doing this doesn’t teach your children about manners, properly engaging in conversation, or being mindful of other patrons.”
Set a good example.
It will be harder for a child to disengage from screens if his or her parents are consistently looking down at their own phones or tablets. “Remember,” Martin says, “your children learn from your example. If they see you spending a lot of time with your face in front of a screen, they’ll also want to use technology at the same time. Try your best to save your time on social media for your lunch break, during nap time, or after your children have gone to bed.”
“Learning how to use screens, verbally communicate or socially interact will have a positive impact on language skills, relationships and overall health,” Martin says. “Spending time with their parents, learning through play is what young children need and want.”
About Christine Kyriakakos Martin
Christine Kyriakakos Martin (www.youvegotthisparenting.com) is the author of You’ve Got This! Keys To Effective Parenting For The Early Years. An early education expert and consultant, Martin is the founder and owner of Sunshine Preschool in Hopkinton, Mass. She has spoken on child-development topics at national education conventions and colleges.
Choosing the single life this Valentine’s Day? You can still share the love with your friends! Here is a unique Gal-entine’s Day gift guide from MyBankTracker.com, an independent financial comparison site, to put your money to good use. So sit back, relax and watch the friendship (and money) grow!
1. Invest in Your Bestie’s Future
Offer to pay for that class s/he wants to take – it could open doors to more career opportunities. If your best friend wants to open a business, give a small cash investment to help start it or cover the cost of business cards, applying for a business license or creating a website.
2. Redeem Your Credit Card Rewards for a Trip
If you want to give a special gift but don’t have enough cash, redeem your credit card reward points for a gift card or to book travel for a Galentine’s weekend away! Even if you only have enough to book a hotel or one plane ticket, every little bit helps.
3. Help Pay Off a Loan
If your friend struggles with student loans, a car payment or credit card debt – offer to help pay some of the balance to reduce the principal.
4. Offer to Add them as an Authorized User
If your best friend doesn’t have a credit history, add him or her as an authorized user on your credit card so you can help establish your friend’s credit. It’s important to set limits and monitor the balance, but your credit habits will benefit his or her credit score.
5. Offer a Savings Match
Even though some people are diligent about contributing to a 401(k), they struggle to build an adequate emergency fund. Offer a one-time or continuous savings match to help jumpstart your friend’s savings goals. Show off your financial savviness and suggest opening an online high-yield savings account.
6. Give the Gift of Stock
Rather than cash, give the gift of stock by transferring shares or purchasing individual shares from companies like SparkGift or StockPile. In the long run, it comes with a higher return and can help your bestie learn about investing. Plus, for us money nerds, there’s the excitement of watching the stock increase in value.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and this is the story of how I was able to escape domestic violence.
It’s a time to take a good long look at this problem in our world. Despite all we’ve learned about this problem it still persists in thousands of households each year. People who are not in that situation can’t understand why a woman would stay so long and almost lose her life. Why would she subject her children to such a life of violence?
No Escape?
What those same people don’t realize is a woman in this situation probably feels helpless to leave. She may be a stay at home mom who is isolated from family and friends because of her husband’s (or boyfriend’s) threats and manipulations. She probably doesn’t have the financial resources to leave because she is dependent on him for survival.
My Experience
From firsthand experience, I can tell you being in a situation like this sucks the life out of you. Domestic violence is not necessarily a sudden thing. It creeps in your life little by little and women with very blurry boundary lines are easily victimized. It starts out with verbal put-downs and criticisms. Then it escalates into yelling and screaming to shock the senses and terrorize. The next step is shoving or slapping, which escalates into punching and beating. All the while you are being manipulated into giving up your friends and stop hanging around your family.
If a baby comes you are likely to remain at home and interrogated if you leave the house. You are dependent on the provision of your partner. This is one of the most insidious forms of abuse; being a financial hostage. You have very little or no access to money and every penny you get is taken away.
Holding on to My Identity
My situation was not this bad but it could have gotten to this point very easily. Things never progressed to the shoving, slapping or into being beat. I came to my senses before it escalated to that point. I did, however, experience the verbal and psychological abuse. Money could have easily become an issue but I refused to give up my financial identity. Toward the end, my bank account was almost wiped out, but I had another account that I could transfer my money into. I recognized the downward spiral I was in and determined to regain control of my life.
Going through this was very terrifying and heartbreaking. I was angry, scared and confused, but I had to keep my head on straight. My children depended on me to get us through this nightmare. Fortunately, I had resources before I got involved with this person so I could escape much easier than a woman who has been in bondage for years.
Financial Savvy is Key
When a woman begins seeking a way out all the literature she reads and the people she talks to tells her to stash away money. That is the only way for her to escape a situation like domestic violence. Without money, she is stuck indefinitely.
Financial independence is very liberating so it is important to cultivate a financial mindset. It is never too late to learn all you can about earning, saving, and budgeting. Giving up your financial identity is never a good idea in a relationship, but being empowered with financial knowledge is essential. Cultivate your financial savvy and never give up your personal identity for anyone.
I Found My Power
My situation turned out much better than millions of other women. I already had a very strong sense of who I was (I had only temporarily lost my way) and could tap into my strength. I knew how to get out and get help and I was angry enough (versus too scared) to do something about my situation. I was driven by a sense of fairness and protection for my children. I wasn’t dealing with a crazy man, just a coward who I escaped rather easily when I threatened to expose him to our church. Sometimes that’s all it takes, but other times it’s more difficult.
Educate, Empower, Think
Domestic violence will not go away overnight. Young girls must be taught they are worthy of love and respect. They must be taught not to fall for the first guy that says, “I love you”. They must be empowered through education, critical thinking skills, and financial savvy.
Make it your business to empower yourself and every young lady you know. Learn to make good decisions in every area of your life. Develop a strong sense of who you are and never let anyone label you or tell you who you are. Ask a million questions of potential suitors and trust your instincts.
If you are in a domestic violence situation get help ASAP by calling a domestic violence hotline. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to provide services in more than 170 languages. Hotline advocates answer questions, provide safety planning and information as well as directly connect callers to domestic violence resources available in their local calling area. All calls to the hotlineare confidential and anonymous.
Creating a budget is one thing but maintaining a budget is something different. Sometimes it feels like a burden and other times it feels boring. Regardless of how it feels to you, if you want to keep your spending under control you have to stick to your budget.
I admit I’m not always in good budget form. I overspend in the gadget or book department or something unexpected comes up. Fortunately, I often have a cushion to cover the budget-busting activities. Other times I wait it out until I get paid again. I prefer the cushion over the wait any day.
I decided to ask a few of my personal finance friends what they do to make budgeting fun and/or easy. Here are their tips.
1. Surround yourself with people who have similar budgeting goals
Sounds easy enough right? Be clear about your budgeting goals with your circle that way you can all share advice and tips to help one another. You’ll be surprised how much easier it is to reach a goal with some accountability.
2. Take advantage of local resources!
I’m a book junkie, I love buying books to read. I recently calculated how much money I could save by just going to the library. Even better, when I signed up for a library card I found out that some libraries also give you access to books via audio! *Cancels Audible subscription*
One if the ways I stay on budget is to use cash for my discretionary (fun) spending. Using cash makes me second guess if I really need that purchase. I usually have a little left over at the end of the month. Yay!
Leave room in your budget for a bit of freedom and excitement. Achieving a proper balance between spending and saving allows you to do things you enjoy while increasing your control over your finances.
My bank allows me to set up different bank accounts that I can personally name. So I have set up an account for each of my major bills. Then I set up automatic drafts from my primary checking account on payday to put the specific amount I need to pay each bill into the different accounts I set up. What’s left in my checking account is what I have for discretionary spending.
I have the bills paid via electronic draft too so I don’t have to remember to pay a bill or accidentally pay one late. When I have extra money I add some of it to each bill accounts so that I can get a full month ahead. This cushion gives me more flexibility if something comes up.
Here are six more tips to get your mind right about controlling your spending:
1. Keep it Simple
To get your financial life under control develop a simple spending plan to avoid overspending. There is no need to overcomplicate the process. You can create a budget each time you get paid or create a budget ahead of time. Both ways include listing your income and expenses, then subtracting your expenses from your income. Here is a free budget worksheet to get you started.
2. Change your thoughts about budgeting
The word budget conjures up the feeling of restriction and lack; so I like the word spending plan. A spending plan puts you in control of how your money flows into and out of your life. When you are in control you are also responsible for what happens (both good and bad). Your decisions determine how much you get to keep vs. release to the others.
3. Take Control
When you develop a plan you feel more in control and it’s easier to stop overspending. We talked about this in the previous tip. Taking control of every purchase, every bill and every debt gives you a sense of accomplishment.
4. Inventory your needs and wants
Think about and list everything you need, and then assign a dollar amount to each item. Once you have listed everything, including your children’s items, add them to a spreadsheet and review monthly. Some things may stay and other things may fall off because you may find it is more of a want than a need.
5. Study the trends
Look at past spending trends to get an accurate view of how much you spend on bills, food, clothing, car/ transportation, and entertainment. This information will help you see where you can maintain or stop spending in a certain area.
6. Use modern money tools
Review your bank account online for a ready source for seeing where your money goes. Use tools like Mint.com, budgeting apps, or my Google Money Tracker.
If you are dealing with living on a low income you want to watch these single mom budget videos I created. Subscribe to the playlist to come back and watch the videos when you have more time.
Grants specifically earmarked for single mothers, in general, don’t exist. There are grants single mothers can apply for based on criteria such as income-based, ethnic group, residency, career interest, knowledge base, etc.
Free money or grants specifically for being a single mom are hard to get. There are organizations offering temporary assistance such as churches, state and/or local government (not federal), several private, and a handful of corporate organizations.
The Hype about Single Mom Grants
A lot of the so-called free grant information online is linked to products and services of very little value and relevance to single moms. When you click on the hyped-up ad, you most likely land on a link farm or page full of links to other pages created by a person who has several affiliate program links embedded.
Every day millions of single moms, desperate for financial assistance scour the web looking for grants. They see ads touting millions for single moms only to be disappointed when they land on the webpage which is usually full of links or other irrelevant ads.
Not to be deterred, she searches high and low for grants she seems to qualify for. Frustration sets in and she usually gives up. In one last ditch effort she heads over to the forums and inquires and again she is pointed to the same websites full of links to pointless pages of ad hype.
Even though the search seems fruitless, there are sources of grants and financial assistance but only under certain circumstances. Here are a few sources of grants for single moms which require more than a quick glance. It requires research and asking the right questions.
Check locally for Single Mom Grants
Local organizations, usually non-profits that give grants or assistance to single moms, may not necessarily be in the form of money but could be housing assistance, food, or job training.
Resources could also be in the form of grants to children of single moms for summer camps, sports or music lessons, or medical assistance. Do a search on your city or state plus the words “grant”, “financial assistance”, or “scholarship” and you may come up with a few sources meeting your needs.
For more information about grants for single moms grab my free single mom grant report. It contains great education grant information and an interview with a very successful grant writer.
Going to school and being responsible for providing for a child is difficult, but it can be done. You have options and in this day and age, the opportunities are greater because of the internet.
I’ve included several sources of grants and scholarships for women below. This is a very general list. Some of the information may be repeated but look through them all anyway.
Have you considered going to school online? What about a program that offers in-person studies and online studies so you only have to go to the actual school part-time? As for working, perhaps you can find a work-study job or something on campus.
Remember, you have to do the research and apply early. I know it’s a pain but it’s worth it in the end. Also, bug your financial-aid officer at your college every week for new opportunities. They have the best information and can guide you.
If you are not already, get temporary government assistance until you are finished with school. There will be plenty of opportunities to give back through taxes when you are working full time after school. There is no shame in getting help for a legitimate need.
If food is a concern, contact local food banks through churches and other non-profit organizations. Things are tight all over but you can still find help. Use coupons and buy items that are on sale in the store circular. Go to consignment shops for clothes and thrift stores for furniture. Go to the dollar store for inexpensive school supplies, etc.
Just don’t lay down and give up. There is always a workable solution. Also, check into dependent care services on campus.
If you want more information and specific sources of grants and scholarships for single moms, women, or non-traditional students grab a copy of The Single Mom Grant Guide. In this report, I cover two important things for single moms.
The first discusses how to find and maintain life balance when you are in school, parenting, and working. The second section lists hundreds of financial resources including where to find local, state, and federal grants as well as hundreds of scholarships just for single mom, women, and non-traditional students.
10 College Scholarships for Women
I came across this list of 10 college scholarships for women. I’m passing it on to you. Do you plan to attend college this fall? Have you already applied for financial aid? Do you know of any other scholarships?
Financial aid is a huge problem for millions of students every year who want to attend college. And yet, it is reported that billions of dollars in scholarship funding and grants are given away annually. One website, ScholarshipsOnline.org, helps students find those opportunities.
Below they have identified the top scholarship opportunities for women:
#1 – The AARP Foundation Women’s Scholarship Program provides scholarship funds to low-income women who are over the age of 50, and are seeking new job skills, training, and educational opportunities.
#2 – The Betty Rendel Scholarship is available to female undergraduates each year who are attending a four-year accredited college or university and majoring in political science, government or economics. It is open to women across the nation.
#3 – The Women’s Independence Scholarship Program, Inc. helps women who have survived domestic violence to return to school and become self-sufficient. The primary candidates are single mothers with young children who lack the resources to attend college.
#4 – The Miss America Scholarship Fund offers scholarships to over 12,000 young women who compete in the state and local competitions as well as Miss America first place winner, four runners-up, semi-finalists and non-finalists.
#5 – The Google Anita Borg Memorial Scholarship is open to female undergraduate seniors or female students enrolled in a graduate program and studying Computer Science or Computer Engineering.
#6 – The Young Women In Public Affairs Award is a scholarship for young women age 16 to 19 with an interest in public affairs who plan to enroll in college.
#7 – The Talbots Scholarship Program awards one-time scholarships to women who want to go back to school to earn their undergraduate degree after graduating from high school or receiving their GED at least ten years ago. NO LONGER AVAILABLE
#8 – The Go Red Multicultural scholarship champions greater inclusion of multicultural women in the nursing and medical industries, address important gaps in treatment, and ensure that all Americans have an opportunity to work with their healthcare providers to make the best choices that lead to good health. NO LONGER AVAILABLE
#10 – The AWG Minority Scholarship program encourages young minority women to pursue courses of education and careers in the field in geosciences.
#11 – Wynetta A. Frazier Sister-to-Sister Scholarship – Created to provide financial assistance to mature African American Women in their pursuit of post-secondary education. An applicant must be a returning student, whose education was interrupted by family responsibilities or other personal demands and is now ready to complete college or one who is entering college for the first time because of these factors.
#12 – Bethel Foundation USA Grace Scholarship – This $3000 scholarship is to assist moms with their tuition, costs of their books, and supplies. To qualify, you must be enrolled or in the process of enrolling in any institution of higher education.
9 Single Mom Friendly Colleges
Here is a list of the best colleges for single moms. They offer scholarships, housing, and childcare options to make the college education journey manageable.
1 – Wilson College – Provides family-friendly, on-campus housing year-round to single parents and their children (between 20 months and 12 years of age) so the parent can pursue a bachelor’s degree full time.
2 – Kent State University – Kent State’s robust LIFE program helps both single moms and their child with workshops, access to resources, and services designed to help you reach your educational and professional goals.
4 – Western Governors University Single Parent Scholarship – WGU is proud to offer the Single Parent Scholarship. This scholarship, valued up to $4,000, is designed for motivated single parents who wish to advance their education.
5 – Marian University – Awards tuition and stipend grants to economically disadvantaged single parents with dependent children – parents who possess the desire and determination to achieve a four-year undergraduate degree.
6 – University of Louisville – The Ann T. Allen Endowed Scholarship is for current University of Louisville undergraduate single parent students and the annual amount to be awarded is approximately $1,000.
7 – James Madison University – Offers a scholarship for heads of single-parent families who are in financial need.
8 – Oakwood University – The New Beginnings program offers supportive resource aids to custodial single parents, male or female, who are enrolled in a college, or other institution of higher learning within the North Alabama area.
Balancing college and parenting can be challenging. I’ve done it before and believe me it is a worthy sacrifice. You can get through it and I can help. I wrote The Single Mom Grant Guide to help other single moms understand what they will face. Order your copy on Amazon.com now to get a head start on your new life as a single parent in college!
My daughter just pulled out of our driveway to head back to college for another exciting year.
Why do I say it’s exciting?
One word. New York City!
She’s at Columbia University (insert proud mom grin here) and she made the Dean’s list (insert even bigger proud mom grin here)! She got her own apartment (through student housing) and is going to be living that bachelorette life.
I’m so proud of her but I am feeling that empty nest syndrome. Tears are a moment away but I know I’ve done a great job preparing her for this new life of hers.
So many moms are sending their kids off to college this year. My pastor and his wife just sent their last kid off to college a couple of weeks ago. It’s not easy seeing them launch out into the world but this is what we’ve been preparing them for right?
Single Mom Empty Nest Syndrome Guest Author
Robin Roffner of Big Fish Marketing and Fearless Career Coach shares her experience of sending her daughter off to college this year too. She has some advice for moms like me and maybe you, who are sending kids off to college and dealing with that empty nest syndrome.
After helping my daughter Roxy move into housing at USC last week, I did not take the requisite selfie with her father holding an empty nest. We are divorced, and I’ve been raising Roxy on my own for the last six years. She has been my focus, my friend, and my travel companion. And I’m being challenged to find a way forward without her.
Letting go is never easy. Whether it’s a job, a project, a client, a child, or a spouse, we’re always struggling with some new fear or vulnerability. All of us. It’s human. We all have fear. But, what would your life look like if you weren’t in fear? Here’s how I’m dealing with the fear of being alone, letting go and moving on to what’s next.
Trust Your Intuition
Now is the time to tune-in to your inner voice and access that second brain that knows exactly where your talents and passions lie and can lead you to your true purpose. Whether it’s humbling yourself, and asking for a new job or position or finally leaving your post and amassing money for a venture, going back to school or fearlessly trying out a new hobby (I’m picking up the guitar and starting singing lessons), start to say “yes” to every gut instinct and invitation. You’ll find that there’s a rich second life inside you just waiting to get out and get on with it.
Align Your Actions With Your Desires
I want you to imagine pushing through any fears you’re having right now and pull out a notepad. Close your eyes and write down what you desire in your personal life, what you desire in your career, and what you desire in your community. Now list under each desire the actions you’ll be taking to get there. Live by those actions and you’ll move yourself closer to your dreams.
Find Champions Who Value You
If you’re needing to let go and move on (like me), now’s the time to go deeper in your female relationships. I am so lucky that almost all of my clients are women and they are among my closest friends and confidants. We know everything about each other’s lives, the names of our children, the trials and tribulations of our love lives, many have come to my home in Santa Fe, and sometimes we travel together. To recognize women who have your back and can be a champion for you, use your intuition. Gather them and keep them close because these relationships, when they become collaborative, will be the foundation of your business and the joy of your career. Whether you’re an executive, professional, entrepreneur or consultant, your network of women are going to see you through.
Share With God Went Well Today
Every night before bed, I talk with God and reflect on what’s going well… what I’m proud of and what I’m grateful for. I could think about my endless to-do list, but this simple practice in gratitude helps me get on with the day and sleep well at night. If you only take away one thing from what I’ve shared it’s this: having faith in yourself and something bigger than you, will keep you out of fear. That’s because if you’re in fear you can’t be in faith. If you’re in faith you can’t be in fear.
As I move into this new role of empty-nester, I try to imagine a table set in the future. My daughter is there and the people that I love. Looking at it fearlessly, there are so many new possibilities for my relationship with Roxy. And all I have to do is let it unfold. I’ll do it by applying these no-fear strategies: trusting my intuition, aligning my actions with my desires, finding champions that value me, going deeper in my female relationships, and finally, sharing with God what went well each day.
In this new phase in my life, I will let the fear be there, but I won’t get stuck there. I’ll keep the focus on what matters and resist isolating or getting into obsessive thinking. To live fearlessly, I will practice this process every day. Won’t you join me?
Single Mom Empty Nest Syndrome Video Suppliment
Resources
Here are more articles I found across the interwebs about single parents dealing with empty nest syndrome:
Many parents are nervous as the new school year approaches. Why? Their child is anxious. It’s not uncommon for children and teens to experience headaches, stomach aches, irritability, withdrawal, and other stress-related effects during this time. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help them before they head off on their first day.
Help Them Start the Day Off Right
Each morning starts with the night before. So make sure your child has a solid bedtime routine in place to help them get adequate sleep. It’s also good to pack any bags and set out clothes for the next day so they’re not rushed in the morning. Furthermore, make sure they can get a healthy breakfast and make it to school with time to spare.
Help Them Transition into the Back to School Routine
Getting their routine in place before the first day of school is important. For instance, you can’t let them stay up late all summer and expect them to wake up refreshed on the first day of school. Help them begin easing back into their workload and schedule one or two weeks before school starts. Ensuring they go to bed a little earlier each night, meeting with their teachers and counselors, and assigning light reading or other work can all be helpful.
Help Them Organize Their Back to School Tasks
If your child is organized, they’re more likely to be excited about school and less likely to be overwhelmed. Work with them to create checklists, organize their textbooks and notebooks, and set a time for weekly cleanup (e.g., relocating old papers and tests, throwing away trash from book bags putting gym clothes in the laundry). Also, help them create a workspace at home, designate a daily study time, and support their efforts by keeping the home a distraction-free.
Talk to Them About Drugs and Alcohol
It seems that kids are being exposed to drugs and alcohol earlier now than ever before. You want to be sure they know about the effects and consequences of addiction. Keeping that conversation going with them throughout their years at school is vital to their health and safety. Make sure they know that treating their anxiety with substances is never the answer and offer them concrete alternatives to relieving stress, such as exercising, music, and art.
Be There to Ease Back to School Anxiety
The most effective way to help alleviate your child’s anxiety is to be present in their lives. Allow them to share their fears and anxieties with you, exercise with them, schedule relaxing activities for the whole family, and model overall self-care through your own lifestyle. Also, you don’t always have to have the answers; sometimes they just need someone to listen.
A lot of children deal with anxiety when school is starting back, so you’re not alone. You can take steps to help them overcome that anxiety and enjoy school. It may take some adjusting as you navigate the waters of childhood and adolescence, but being there for your child and supporting them will make all the difference.
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
10 College Scholarships for Women
