Being a parent isn’t easy and is filled with stressful moments. No matter how busy you are between work and family, always make time for yourself. Even just 15 to 20 minutes a day to get quiet and relax can do wonders for your stress level, mental and physical health. Not only will you feel better, you’ll also be better at the things you take on and more aligned in your relationships.
Focus on overall wellness:
The importance of exercise, eating right and taking care of yourself can’t be said enough, especially for parents who lead busy lives. All of these things have a direct impact on your stress. If you eat right, get plenty of physical activity and just take better care of yourself, your mind and body will thank you. Best of all, you can instill these important values in your kids as they grow up.
Don’t let things fester:
When problems arise, and they will, take them on quickly and effectively. The problem when we procrastinate and put things off is small issues turn into big issues and this drives our stress levels off the charts. Even if you don’t feel like dealing with something, it’s always better to face it and get it over with rather than keep putting it off and allowing it to bother you and raise your stress. For parents, that might mean planning out specific tasks that have to get done each day. Monday might be laundry day. Tuesday could be food prep day. Wednesday cleaning day. And so on.
Focus on proper breathing:
The problem with incorrect breathing is it can make you feel even more stressed and worried than you already are. Improper breathing raises CO2 in the body while reducing oxygen consumption which makes us tired, dizzy and anxious. The correct way to breathe is slowly in through the stomach area, hold for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale through the lips. It might take some practice to get used to, but this is definitely something that will significantly reduce your stress.
Get out of the house:
Right now, many parents are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed during the COVID pandemic because they can’t leave the house. It’s still important to get out each and every day. You can go for a walk, drive around with no destination in mind while you crank up the tunes, visit a friend or family member while practicing social distancing. A change of environment is important to reduce stress.
Get the kids involved:
Many parents are stressed out right now with kids home for summer with nothing to do. Keep your kids busy with educational activities like reading, give them an allowance for taking on chores around the house, and make sure they have enough time play time each day outdoors. Happy and healthy kids will make your life much easier and reduce your levels of stress.
Have something to look forward to:
Having something in the future to move toward and look forward to is important to all of us, especially parents who find themselves stressed. Maybe it’s a vacation or road trip six months from now. You can even have something small to look forward to each day like a television show or family dinner. This puts us in a better frame of mind, reduces stress and keeps the “feel-good” chemicals pumping in the brain.
Get involved in activities that are inspiring to you:
It doesn’t matter what it is, just get involved in any activity that inspires you. When you are feeling inspired and into what you are doing, it’s hard to feel stress. Not only that, but when you are doing something you truly enjoy, your mind is occupied and won’t have time to entertain worry, anxiety and stress.
Focus on the outcomes, not the struggles:
In almost everything we set out to accomplish, there is stress along the way. This is true even of positive forces in our lives. Instead of becoming stressed by the struggles, stay focused on the outcome. For instance, it’s easy to get flustered when trying to explain a math assignment to your kids. But remember how great it feels when it finally clicks for them and the sense of achievement it gives both you and them.
Recognize when you need help:
Every parent deals with a certain amount of stress and that is perfectly normal. But sometimes our stress becomes something bigger indicative of an anxiety disorder or something else. When you’ve tried to face things on your own and you aren’t feeling better, it’s time to get professional help. Parents with an insurmountable of stress are doing themselves and their families a favor by getting help.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Are You An Overprotective Parent? 4 Ways To Let Go And Let Your Child Grow
Good parents want to be involved in their children’s lives, but for years educators and psychologists have been asking the question: How much parental involvement is too much? When does trying to help your children in school, sports, and myriad other ways go too far, hurt their development, and become over-protective?
The explosive college admissions scandal seemed to answer that question. Television actress Felicity Huffman was sentenced to jail for paying $15,000 to influence the boosting of her daughter’s SAT score. Fourteen other parents in the probe have also pleaded guilty.
While most parents don’t cross that legal line, early education expert Christine Kyriakakos Martin says too much parental involvement can be harmful in a variety of ways, sometimes leading to children becoming ill-prepared for the challenges of adulthood.
“The consequences of being an overprotective parent is that your child will lack self-confidence to make decisions and take risks,” says Martin (www.youvegotthisparenting.com), author of You’ve Got This! Keys To Effective Parenting For The Early Years. “They’ll lack the coping skills to get up when they fall down from a bad experience and try again.”
Martin offers four ways for parents to stop being overprotective and promote more strength and independence in their children:
Stop teaching fear. While there are non-negotiables when it comes to teaching your child safety — for example: wearing a helmet when biking, no talking to strangers, no texting when driving — Martin says sometimes parents overprotect when they create too many boundaries, which in turn may teach children to live fearfully. “When you don’t allow them to play outside much, you’re impeding their freedom,” Martin says. “Play develops the imagination and self-confidence. Overprotective parents don’t want their children to fall down, and getting back up and brushing themselves off is a necessary component for healthy growth and development.”
Don’t be their full-time problem-solver. Martin says many parents want to take care of all of their chidlrens’ problems and make things easier for them. At some point that needs to stop, she says, because adult life is rife with adversity and unforeseen obstacles that we must learn to deal with independently. “Teaching children problem-solving skills encourages them to be independent,” Martin says. “Learning to resolve conflict on their own and work through problems builds resilience and teaches them how to handle adversity.”
Teach responsibility. “If you make their beds and clean their room, you’re doing them a great disservice,” Martin says. “It’s about learning early lessons in responsibility. Doing these things for a prolonged time can debilitate your child and set them up for a lack of life skills as adults. Let your child take on reasonable responsibilities and let them feel a sense of accomplishment.”
Let them branch out. Sometimes parents develop a comfort zone with their child’s pursuits and restrict them when the child wants to expand. “Let your child have some freedom to make some of their own decisions about their interests,” Martin says. “Interests change, and the more varied experiences they have, the better for their ability to make decisions and adapt to different situations.”
“Parents are right to protect their children in a dangerous world,” Martin says. “But having them grow up in a bubble hurts them and their ability to deal with the world as adults. The best thing you can do for your children is to find that balance between protecting them and teaching them to be strong and self-sufficient.”
About Christine Kyriakakos Martin
Christine Kyriakakos Martin (www.youvegotthisparenting.com) is the author of You’ve Got This! Keys To Effective Parenting For The Early Years. An early education expert and consultant, Martin is the founder and owner of Sunshine Preschool in Hopkinton, Mass. She has spoken on child-development topics at national education conventions and colleges.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
A life of luxury comes in all different forms. For some, it might mean having the biggest house on the block or the most exclusive credit cardin their wallet, and for others, a life of luxury might be more measured by the friends and family in their circle. No matter your definition of luxury, there are ways to add richness to your life regardless of the amount of money in your wallet.
Spending time with loved ones and continuously working on bettering yourself are just a few things that can make you feel like a million bucks, no matter what your current financial status is. Here are five ways to live a luxurious life without spending any money.
1. Budget Time With Your Family
Life is busy, and it can be easy to fall into a routine of early mornings and late hours with limited time in between. While it’s often easier said than done, make room to budget time in your schedule to spend with the ones you love most. Recognizing the love and support that you are surrounded by every day can be one of the most luxurious components of your life. Money might come and go, but the memories you make with your family will last a lifetime. The things you do in life means more when you are doing them with the ones you love.
2. You’re Worth More Than Your Bank Account
A number does not define you or anyone around you. I’m not at all suggesting that money isn’t a necessity in life, but it’s important to realize that the things you currently possess are worth more than anything. Let your life be defined by your contributions to your community, the positive impact that you have on those around you and the little things that make you extremely happy – and do more of those things.
3. Strive for Happiness
Take a step back and look at everything around you. Think about what truly makes you happy, and what, if anything, you’d like to change or cut back on. Life is a journey and part of that journey is making adjustments along the way to incorporate more of what brings you the most joy. Just remember that happiness will have a different meaning for everyone, so try to avoid comparing yours to the people around you. Whether you’ve been wanting to take on a new hobby, fuel your passion through a side hustle or even make a career change, I hope you’ll feel empowered to go after the things that drive happiness for you.
4. Prioritize Health
Health is one of the most important forms of wealth. Good health allows us to be physically and mentally able to set out to achieve our goals. When our schedules get full our health typically falls to the end of our priority list. A big part of living a luxurious life means feeling it too. Prioritize going to the gym, the doctor or even yoga classes if that’s what it takes for you to personally feel good. Perhaps even a morning run can give you the energy you need to kickstart your day and take on the world.
5. Plan
Having clear goals to work toward can help eliminate the feeling of uncertainty about your future. While no plan has to be set in stone, the one you create can help guide any tough decisions you might encounter in the future. Creating a plan can offer more insight into what’s really important to you, and you might even find that you have most of those things already. Part of luxurious living is having a rich mindset to go along with your everyday lifestyle.
6. Be a Go-Getter
It’s very unlikely that the things you want most in life will be handed to you – that’s what makes life fun! I believe happiness is the biggest luxury in life. No matter what you do or what you want most in life, be a go-getter and be proud of your achievements.
Rachel Dix-Kessler, Bio
Rachel Dix-Kessler is the Consumer Advocate of personal finance comparison website, finder.com. In her role of Consumer Advocate, she analyzes and reports on the spending and savings habits of Americans. Rachel is passionate about studying financial trends in order to provide actionable advice that encourages more people to talk about, and understand, their own personal finances.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
I remember so clearly when my son was little. He was seven when his father and I divorced, and we moved out of state. Sure, we struggled, but we had many good times, too. I was a super-involved single mom. When he was in elementary school, I knew all of his teachers. I attended class parties, and I never missed a parent-teacher conference.
I made sure he was involved in fun extra-curricular activities with other boys his age. We were very active in Cub Scouts. The Pinewood Derby was always my favorite event! Together, we built several cars that won the race! I was a very proud Derby Mama; I knew how to polish those axels and make the cars go FAST!
He joined a basketball team for several years, and that really helped him grow. I was there for every practice and game, and I was the mom who kept track of all the players’ statistics. My son was good at defense, but he never wanted to shoot. I’ll never forget the one time he was in the perfect spot to get a basket. The parents were sitting on the bleachers wondering what he would do. Then, he threw the ball and made the basket! We all got on our feet and cheered.
But sports were not his passion. And he decided not to continue with Boy Scouts.
My adorable little boy was becoming one of the most feared creatures on Earth; the teenager with an attitude. He loved to argue with me. Everything I said was wrong. He was still doing pretty well in school, which was certainly a relief. But home was a different story. We got along fine as long as he was doing and getting what he wanted. But when I needed him to do something for me or the household, it wasn’t happening and an argument erupted.
The Challenges of Raising Teen-Aged Sons
Being the mother of a teen boy can be so challenging! I’m five-feet, three inches tall on a good day, and my son towered over me when he was only thirteen. His father lived out of state, so I was on my own with this kid. How in the world would life be bearable until he graduated from high school?
As a mom, I was tempted to just give in to his wishes to make peace in our home. I certainly did not look forward to the days that, after being at work for nine hours, there would be a huge knock-down, drag-out waiting for me at home.
Truths About Raising a Teen-Aged Son
I needed to remind myself of several important truths:
I’m the adult, not him. This was my home, and he was allowed to share it with me. I paid the bills, and I made the rules. Even though he is absolutely sure that he knows more than I do, I know that I’m right. I need to stand my ground and be the adult.
Giving in to his demands will not help him. As a parent, it’s my job to raise a child into an adult. This boy needs to become a strong man, and I need to help him. This means that he needs to understand that the choices he makes will have consequences, whether they are good or bad. If he chooses to not complete his school work, he will suffer the consequences of that choice. It’s not my job to bail him out. The same rules apply at home. If he decides not to do a household chore that is his responsibility, I will provide the consequences.
Enabling him and bailing him out will not help him. It would have been so easy for me to clean up after him, cook all his meals, and just give in, in order to keep peace in my house. But is that teaching him how to be a strong, independent man? No!
Parents have more power than we think we do. It seems that many parents today are almost afraid to discipline their children. It is okay if we don’t give our children every single thing they want. “No,” is a complete sentence. We do not need to give them an explanation for the decisions we make.
This difficult time with my son is only a season. It won’t last forever. I know that it’s my job to help him grow into a successful young man, and he won’t always enjoy the process! I’m looking forward to the day, maybe five or ten years down the road, when I hear the words, “Mom, you were right!”
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Although your networth isn’t a factor in credit scoring, it does influence your ability to purchase necessities, pay bills and keep your accounts current. So how do you get paid what you are worth?
For some professionals, the topic of salary can be more uncomfortable than the interview itself. A Salary.com survey revealed that 18% of job candidates don’t negotiate annual compensation at all, sacrificing the potential for greater earnings and career satisfaction. While there are limits to every job offer, there are a few strategies that could help you in the negotiation process.
1. Improve Your Resume
Learning what skills employers in your industry are looking for is one of the first steps toward earning higher pay. Review open positions online and create a list of common requirements. Research desirable credentials and think about highlighting the skills you have that meet these requirements. You might even consider earning a higher degree or certification to solidify your skills.
2. Avoid Specific Salary Requirements
Do your best to resist the urge to list a specific figure requirement on an application unless pressed. If you must, you might want to write “competitive” or “negotiable” to keep the conversation open. Disclosing your salary history can also lead to fewer bargaining options. In fact, earlier this year, Massachusetts passed state legislation prohibiting employers from considering past salaries in their hiring practices. It’s a good idea to discuss your workplace merits and skills before discussing money.
3. Consider Your Local Market Value
Location is a vital component of earning potential. According to Glassdoor.com, the average salary for a senior-level mechanical engineer in Chicago is $85,601, while the same position in Seattle yields $134,127. Consider cost of living and your own market value during the negotiation process. Your research will help you set realistic expectations.
4. Prepare a Counter-Offer
It’s a good idea to assess your worth and have an amount in mind that you can use for a counter-offer if you don’t like the first offer a company gives you. Make sure you consider base salary, benefits, signing bonuses, vacation time and other perks. It’s a good idea to make the counter-offer higher than what you’d settle for to give you negotiation room. Mutual flexibility is key here.
5. Share Your Ideas
An effective way to demonstrate value is to come prepared with ideas to help productivity. Research the company’s work and create a list of tasks you would like to complete if hired for the role. Early initiative shows enthusiasm and creativity, two qualities worth consideration during salary discussions.
6. Avoid Limiting Your Job Search
Salary negotiation is easier with a little competition. Pursue multiple job openings with the hope of securing more than one offer. It may be helpful to use competing salaries as leverage to land the position you prefer.
Preparing in Every Way
Many employers look at a version of your credit reports as part of the application process. It may not have a direct impact on your salary, but it’s still a good idea to know where your credit stands so you go into every interview as prepared as possible (which will likely only boost your value to your potential employer). You can see where your credit currently stands by taking a look at a free snapshot of your credit report, updated every 14 days, on Credit.com.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
A girl in her midtwenties who wore a peasant shirt arrived for a simple checkup of her sprained right wrist. She’d been
wearing a brace and managing within her work restrictions. Blonde-haired and doe-eyed, she appeared reserved but polite. I proceeded to examine the wrist and check the fit of the brace. I also offered her a different medication and asked about physical therapy.
We then chitchatted a bit, during which she told me she was working an assembly line job and raising her sons, but she’d just graduated from acting school and was very excited to audition the next day for a commercial in Cincinnati. She thought it was important to show her sons the importance of following a dream by following her own. She said she’d always wanted to portray characters that brought out emotions in those watching. I commended her for this and wished her the best for the audition.
I encouraged her to show the joy in what she was doing, even if it was an awkward tryout, as though the time on stage would truly be what she’d be doing for a living; projecting her comfort would allow the producers to feel more relaxed and happy to hire her for the part. I asked her if there was anything else about her health that we should talk about, and she stated she’d had migraines since childhood.
I felt a sense of properness while in the room with her; a sense of calmness that was more like forced tranquility than genuine peace. So, I brought to her attention that allowing her true feelings to come out, such as anger, would not only help with her migraines but also with her performance on stage. I felt that somewhere during this young adult’s upbringing, she’d learned to turn off any anger, having judged and condemned it as improper.
“As a matter of fact,” I told her, “anger can be very helpful.”
I recommended that she join a self-defense class where she could strike out, kick, and punch, and with each one of these offensive moves, assign with it something that happened to her that caused her to feel angry. She was to channel that feeling and event into every strike.
I told her that if she did that, she would not only help her migraines but also be able to channel that emotion in the human characters she played. I explained that the suppression of this emotion doesn’t get rid of it but instead just chains it up for a while and builds inner pressure that can result in all sorts of destructive influence on the body. Emotions are vibrations, and the body, under poor vibrations, can develop disease and be unwell, exhibiting symptoms such as migraines, ulcers, and stomach issues.
She nodded in agreement and said that in her final exam at acting school, she’d had to deliver part of a monologue of a very angry woman, standing alone on stage. She said she had done very poorly because she hadn’t been able to get in touch with the anger. I’d told her that it made a lot of sense because she’d never given herself permission to access it. While she worked through this, I recommended that she try butterbur, an herb showing promise in treating migraines, embraced by large neurology clinics for its effectiveness and low side effect profile.
I then asked if I could say a prayer with her for her audition and new dream career. She agreed, and I held in my mind the portrait of her as an actress who was so in touch with each of her emotions that she could portray any character, and the genuineness of this would be felt by all the audience members, who would be in turn inspired to find the genuine nature in their own lives. I saw this so clearly for her and asked that she be guided to this, as she felt comfortable in allowing it to happen. She’d been an inspiration, and I was blessed with a new realization about prayer from our visit.
In having prayed and seen the young actress so sharply in my mind’s eye doing and loving what she wanted so much to do, I felt what true prayer is. True prayer is holding a deeply felt, detailed image of someone’s best self, when he or she isn’t yet able to do so. I was reminded of Jesus among the sick. He saw his fellow beings in their full state of radiant health, walking with their beds instead of focusing on their lameness and skin lesions. He held so strongly the vibration of their well-being that they all let go of their own beliefs of sickness in his presence. We can all do this for each other by focusing on each other’s best selves and holding that in our hearts as our image of them.
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About the author
Dr. Amy E. Coleman is the CEO and founder of Wellsmart, a company that cultivates technologies and healthcare strategies that strengthen the patient/doctor relationship. She served as a United States Air Force flight surgeon, and was appointed the youngest and first female Commander of the U.S. Air Force Special Operations Clinic. There, she helped guide global medical missions and build creative clinic systems, including those employing complementary care methods still employed today throughout the Air Force.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
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Dr. Amy E. Coleman is the CEO and founder of 
