1. Put the guilt away (preferably in a bag and take it to the curb)
Our society likes to manipulate mothers by playing on our doubts and insecurities. With single moms the guilt seems to be intensified a hundred fold. When society isn’t guilting us, our kids may be guilting us and we often guilt ourselves. We need to keep our expectations of ourselves and our children realistic and if we have no means of gauging what realistic means, a good sensible book will be a huge help. I found “Healthy Parenting” by Janet Geringer Woititz a godsend but there are a number of other great books out there. If we can’t afford to go to Chapters, there’s always the local library. I’ve actually found the bulk of my really helpful books at Value Village and the Salvation Army.
2. Have a laugh
My kids are two of the funniest people I have ever met. A simple game of Crazy Eights or my Tina Turner impression can turn into a ROTFL event and we all feel so much better afterwards. Watching a comedy flick or some comedians on You Tube gives me a break from the stress and seriousness of life and gives me an endorphin shower (can never get too many of those)!
3. Pamper yourself
When it’s my “time of the month” it’s candles and bubble bath every night. If I don’t have bubble bath Epsom salt will do. I don’t consider this frivolous, I consider it necessary in order to maintain some sanity. Sometimes I pray and sometimes I let my mind drift but either way I’m not focused on the stress and I’m also doing something exclusively for me. When I constantly put others first and deny my needs I begin to lose perspective on my value and doing something for myself affirms that I am important.
4. Release the tension in a positive manner
Whether it’s exercising, venting to someone or screaming in the shower we need to release the tension we’re feeling or we’ll end up exploding and possibly harming ourselves or someone else. Much of the illness I have experienced has been a result of stress build-up inside of me and I have learned the hard way to release the tension I’m feeling before it escalates. One thing I do when I’m upset is I clean furiously because it’s physical, I have the energy to do it when I’m stressed out, and the end result is tangible and satisfying. If only the end result would last longer…
5. Keep things in their proper perspective
One of my frequent prayers is that God would help me to see things are they really are. Much of my stress is a result of my skewed perspective on situations. We are surrounded by a million messages that tell us we don’t have enough stuff and we need more, more and more. Do I really need 10 pairs of pants? 3 ski jackets? Do I really need a new loveseat when my 20-year-old loveseat is still in good shape and there’s nothing wrong with it? Whenever one of my kids went through a growth spurt, I would panic and think, “Oh no! What am I gonna do now? I have to buy a new wardrobe for him/her and I can’t afford it!” Not so…especially now that I don’t have to go out to a laundromat anymore. I can do laundry every night if I need to and hang the clothes up if I’m concerned about electricity usage. We can wear the same shirt or pants more than one time in a week. I try to stay focused on what we do have as opposed to what we don’t have. It’s helpful to find someone stable and sensible to talk with to help you keep things in their proper perspective.
These are five tried and true methods that have worked for me over the past 19 years and I hope that you try them too!
Five ways to take charge of your health and increase your bottom line
Health care today is expensive, but there are ways that you can give your wallet a break. One of the best ways to make health care more affordable is to avoid the need for medical care in the first place.
More than 75 percent of health care costs are attributed to chronic illness, most of which are controllable, if not preventable. For those, here are five ways to save on health care spending so you have more money to enjoy life.
Know Your Health Numbers
It is important that you know your optimal range for health markers such as blood pressure, cholesterol and glucose. Knowing your health scores allows you to take steps to lessen your risk of chronic and costly diseases such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Not only are such diseases a burden to national health spending, they also make a major impact on personal spending.
For instance, people with type 2 diabetes that can be controlled through diet and exercise spend about $2,000 a year. When it isn’t controlled, those costs can escalate dramatically for insulin treatments, or worse, hospitalization.
Life Time, The Healthy Way of Life Company has initiated a new program called myHealthScore to bridge the gap between fitness and health care. The program provides testing, available to members and nonmembers, to measure six critical health markers: cholesterol ratio, blood pressure, glucose, triglycerides, nicotine use and body fat ratio. These metabolic markers provide a baseline from which people can set goals, or in some cases detect serious health issues that might otherwise go undetected, even with an annual doctor visit. A Life Time health adviser works with participants to move their score into an optimal range. “Results from myHealthScore give someone an inside-out view of their health,” says Tom Manella, vice president of Personal Training at Life Time.
Invest in Prevention
Get health screenings as advised and prevent illness with vaccines. What you spend on an annual flu shot will more than make up for costs you incur on over the counter medications, doctor’s visits, and lost wages if you get sick. Likewise, an annual membership to a fitness center can cost as little as $50 a month, but being inactive and overweight costs significantly more: an additional $1,152 in medical expenses if you’re an obese man and $3,613 more if you’re an obese woman, according to a study published in the Journal of Health Economics.
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
Poor oral health is often a signal of bigger health problems. The same bacteria that causes gum disease has been implicated in other major health problems such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes and premature births, all of which can require expensive and ongoing care. The American Dental Association recommends brushing twice a day with a toothbrush that is replaced every three to four months and flossing every day, an investment that will cost as little as $15 a year.
Stop Spending on Sugar
Your sweet tooth is very, very expensive. Saving anywhere from $5 to $20 a week that you’d normally spend on sugary treats translates into savings of $1,000 a year, not to mention the calories saved, which can save additional thousands spent on taking off that extra weight later or obesity-related medical expenses.
Flaunt Your Fitness in Front of Your Employer
Most health insurers provide incentives for people to take the initiative to get and stay healthy. For example at Allina Health System, one of many companies using Life Time’s myHealthCheck program, employees have the potential to earn up to $1,600 in what they call “Be Fit Premium Credits.” Many health plans offer a discount for people who make regular visits to a fitness center, too. Ultimately the savings can trickle down to deductible spending. The healthier you are, the less you need to see a doctor, which means out of pocket costs go down.
None of us enjoy spending money on health care expenses. Do yourself – and your wallet – a favor and begin to invest in better health. Small steps today can pay big dividends tomorrow.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Depression and single motherhood seem to go hand in hand, am I right? I lived with depression, anxiety, and stress for a lot of years. Sometimes I still feel stress but I think that’s part of life. But when it gets to severe levels it becomes a problem and affect your quality of life.
I won’t go into all the reason why we experience depression but I have learned there are ways to get better without medicine and years of expensive therapy. I’ve used both methods to treat my symptoms but they did not give me (more…)
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
It’s getting really cold here in Atlanta and though I don’t usually have good things to say about cold weather, one thing I can say is I really love good old-fashioned comfort food. This is the kind of heavy, yet healthy food that makes a cold day bearable for me.
I’ll share couple of recipes that are easy to make, costs only pennies, and that make me feel really good. I hope you make one or two for yourself and your family.
Potato Soup
This recipie is one I have been making since I was a single woman living on my own. I graviated toward it because I love potatoes and it is really cheap to make. One thing you should know is I don’t measure my ingredients when I cook so what I am writing are estimates. Some seay it’s a sign of a great cook. The results are 90% good with this method and my kids never leave food on their plates. 🙂 Modify to fit your tastes.
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 20 minutes
Total time: 30 minutes
To make potato soup follow these directions:
3-4 medium or large potatoes
1 10 oz can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/2 cup thinly sliced onions (optional)
Salt to taste
Peel and dice potatoes then place in medium pot with onions and salt. Cover with water and cook until tender. Reduce heat then add mushroom soup. Stir to mix soup in well. Let simmer for 10-15 minutes. Enjoy!
You can add more seasoning if you like a more spicy taste. Occasionllay I add:
Leftover backed chicken (or any meat)
Steamed cabbage
Seasoned salt
Pepper
Add whatever you have on hand that would taste yummy in this soup.
Eat with rolls, biscuits, or any kind of thick bread. It will definitely satisfy you.
Breakfast Casserole
I cook this around the holidays. I had it at a company brunch one year and decided I wanted to learn how to make it. I’ve seen recipies that are really complicated and has a lot of ingredients, but I prefer keeping my recipes simple so I use fewer ingredients.
Prep Time: 5-7 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
Total Time: 30-35 minutes
To make a breakfast casserole you need a 9×12 baking dish and the following ingredients:
2 cups Tater Tots
6-8 Eggs
1/2-3/4 cup Milk
3/4- 1 cup Sausage (cooked and chopped)
1/2 cup Cheese (mild)
Salt & Pepper to taste
Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray bottom of casserole dish cooking spray. Layer potatoes and sausage on bottom of dish. Whip eggs, milk, cheese, salt and pepper together in a mixing bowl. Pour mixture over potatoes and sausage. Put in oven and cook until golden brown. Enjoy with toast and a warm beverage!
The Joy of Comfort Food to Warm You on the Inside
Even though it’s cold outside you don’t have to be miserable. Enjoy the comfort foods I gave you above with your family. Don’t forget to get in some kind of exercise 3 or more times a week to keep off the winter bulge. It will keep the blues away and make you feel great.
To save money on these recipes use store brands or purchase ingredients when they are on sale and/or with a coupon. It tastes just as delicious as using brand names. This is the season to stock up on canned soups like cream of mushroom used in the potato soup.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Anyone who is self-employed has had to face the insurance conundrum. Do you spend an arm and leg to insure yourself (since there’s no corporate umbrella to absorb a portion of the cost) or do you risk losing an actual arm or leg because you can’t afford the cost of medical care without insurance?
While there are certainly benefits to being self-employed, such as working from home, setting your own schedule, and taking only the jobs you want, one of the major drawbacks of freelancing or staring your own company is that the cost of medical and dental falls squarely on your shoulders. Luckily, there are a few ways to cut back on these costs.
Here’s how to save when you’re self-employed:
Preventive care
There is no better way to dispel the costs of medical and dental procedures than to continue practicing preventive care. Early detection is often the key to ensuring that health issues never get to a critical (and expensive) stage. So whether or not you have insurance, try to find a way to keep up with your annual visits (physicals, dental cleanings, and so on), especially if you have a family (or personal) history of problems.
Pay in cash
Many doctors and dentists are sympathetic to patients that lose their job or insurance (often both) and can’t afford to pay for treatment at full price. Some are even willing to make concessions if you pay in cash as a way to keep you on track with your health. So if your doctor or dentist might normally charge the insurance company $100 for your visit, they’ll allow you to pay as little as half when you offer cash. Simply ask at your doctor and dentist offices to see if they’re willing to make such an arrangement.
Shop around
You comparison shop for everything from cars to jeans to canned vegetables, so why wouldn’t you do the same with doctors? While it’s true that visiting a physician is a rather intimate experience, the truth is that you’re going to be poked and prodded one way or another. So look into prices and how they vary from private practices to hospital staff to clinics; you’re bound to find something in your price range that suits your medical and dental needs, and you may be eligible to pay on a sliding fee scale (or even get services for free).
Prescription assistance
Even after you visit the doctor or dentist, you’re bound to be on the hook for additional costs thanks to prescription medication. Some people can save by going for the generic brand while others will order via apps or the internet (finding the best cost locally or getting medication from other countries where it may be sold cheaper). But if you simply can’t afford the cost of medications that you need in order to survive, look for prescription assistance programs that operate on donations (government, private, or other) so that you get the prescriptions you need at low or no out-of-pocket cost.
Discount plans
There are companies out there that offer individuals like yourself both medical and dental discount plans. You won’t pay much for membership (generally up to about $30 per month) and the plans will cover as much as 60% of your costs. This is a good way to ensure that you won’t be tanked by potentially costly problems, without spending a boatload on pricy insurance that you may never use.
Evan Fischer is a freelance writer and part-time student at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
To exercise or not to exercise is not the question. Many of us know that we should exercise however, if we’re being totally truthful, many of us would admit that we don’t want to. And as a single mom, it gets just a little bit more complicated…or so we think.
“The common way that people give up their power is thinking they don’t have any” –Alice Walker
Perhaps you’ve wanted to lose a few pounds that you’ve been carrying around since your last child was born. You want to wear your skinny jeans. You want to walk up a flight of stairs without stopping every few seconds. You want to run and play with your children effortlessly. You want more energy. You want to feel good and look good naked.
Sadly, you FEEL that life as a single parent, working full time, perhaps with a second job or attending school coupled with the responsibilities of maintaining your household doesn’t leave time to take care of you.
How can I say this gently…YOU make time for those tasks that are important to you! If you feel offended…that’s your ego, tell it to go on an extended vacation.
What are you telling yourself subconsciously when you don’t make time to exercise and what message are you sending to your children when you continuously place them and everyone else ahead of you.
Now I’m not suggesting that you shun your responsibilities. What I am suggesting is that you begin to get real with yourself about what you can do to get more active.
For starters, first identify what type of activity you enjoy. Is it running, dancing, yoga, Pilates, swimming or something else? This is something for everyone.
If you can’t attend a live class and as a single parent I understand, there are many programs that you can go through via a DVD or with a virtual coach. Go to bed a little earlier and rise a little earlier before the kids get up and get your work out in.
Perhaps you and your children can work out together. Now how’s that for quality family time? Now you’re demonstrating, not just giving lip service, to your kids the importance of exercise.
I also want to encourage you to be realistic with your goals. For example, if you haven’t been working out for a while then perhaps you want to set your goal to exercise a minimum of 2-3 days a week for 30 minutes. That’s a very doable goal.
You want to set yourself up for success. From there, you can adjust your goals as you see fit but remember to keep them specific.
Right now, I’m training for a 5k. I haven’t been running in a while so I’m easing my way back into training and this is a very doable goal. Next stop…half marathon. If this single mom can do it, then so can you.
Remember, a healthy mommy is a happy mommy and a happy mommy equals a happy household.
Golda Smith, a nutritional cleansing coach, is focused on helping moms achieve their weight loss goals. She has a FREE report entitled “The Biggest Mistake People Make During Weight Loss”. Don’t let this be YOU, get this NOW!
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
