Greeting to all my single mom friends! We made it into a new year and there is so much in store for us all. I am excited about my future and have been planning and planning out what I will accomplish this year. Have you been doing the same? I hope so.
It’s not enough to hope and wish that things will change in your life this year. You have to make the plans and make the opportunities. I think we’ve been conditioned to think that the wishing and hoping will change things but in reality it won’t. You have to know what you want then plan for it.
I am a bible reader and believe that every word of it is true. There is so much practical wisdom in those pages, especially wisdom about money. Of course there is much more than financial stuff, but since this blog is mostly about getting rich the scriptures about money will apply here. One verse says that we should Ask, Believe, and Receive (Matt 21:22). God never said that we should just hope then sit around and wait for it. You have to do something. I won’t get on my spiritual soapbox now but I just wanted to share that little tidbit with you.
Ask
How many times do you see something and say, “I wish I could have that”? During the Christmas holidays I had a conversation with a few people who made that statement. I wanted to ask them if they had actually asked for the thing they wanted. Sometimes people are not ready to hear that so I left it alone.
Until you ask for what you want you will never get it. Case in point…I was talking to one of my friends about birthdays. I didn’t have a lot of birthday parties growing up. In fact I only had one, my 10th, so a few years ago when I was about to turn 24 I told my mom and friends that I wanted a party that year. I made them feel guilty for never throwing me a party and insisted that I wanted one that year. I would not have it any other way.
Guess what? They planned a surprise party for me! They went all out with the balloons and streamers, gifts and friends. It was a very good birthday.My friend commented that I was imposing my wishes on others. I didn’t agree but told him that I simply asked for what I wanted. Then I believed that I would get it.
Believe
Sometimes when we ask for things then immediately disqualify it by saying, “I’m never going to get it anyway”. Now that is the best way to sabotage a gift. If I had said that when I asked for a birthday party I wouldn’t have received it.
I get on my daughter about that all the time. She’ll want something then beat around the bush, hem and haw and tell me that I’m not going to do it for her or get it for her anyway. And she’s right. Not because I don’t want to get it for her but because she didn’t believe that I wanted to or could. As a mother I want to give her everything she asks for (if it’s good for her) but if her attitude is wrong she probably won’t get it.
My son is very different though. He asks me for things all the time. He’ll grin at me impishly and make his request. Then he will either wait for my answer or he’ll walk away confidently knowing that he is going to get what he’s asked for. He has no fear or doubt about my ability to give him what he wants. He has faith; a childlike faith that we all need to have.
Receive
Now that you’ve asked for what you want and believed that you will get it be prepared to receive it. That means that your heart, living space, or circumstances must be ready to receive the thing you’ve asked for. Sometimes the gift is delayed because we are not ready.
If your heart, mind, or living space is cluttered where will the thing you want go? How can you fit it into your life if there is no room? You may have to clean out your closet; the physical, emotional, or mental areas of your life.
If you want new clothes then you probably need to get rid of some old clothes. If you want a new healthy relationship you probably need to get rid of the toxic and damaging relationships. If you want education, peace, career, or positive attitude then you have to do the work of removing limiting thoughts and resolving past issues.
The Results
Everything is available to you if you just ask; just be specific when you ask. You can’t generalize and think that you will get exactly what you want. So you may have to do more thinking about what you really want. I read in The Science of Getting Rich that when you send a letter you don’t just write the alphabet and expect the person reading the letter to know what you want. You choose the specific words you want to use to get your message across. You make it clear and the other person gets the right message.
A Challenge
So take this first month of this New Year to get clear about what you want. You now have 30 more days (as of this writing) to work on it. Too many times we make resolutions then forget about them before the month of January is over. So do something different.
Why not take 30 minutes or an hour each day (when you first wake up or just before bed) to think about what you want in detail. Write down your thoughts then make a list from the results. On January 31, 2009 you should have a very clear and specific list of goals to reach. I promise that it will be more satisfying and well worth the time and effort. 2009 will be the best year you’ve ever had because you will have a clear direction.
Will you do that? Are you up for the challenge? What else could you do to make 2009 the best year ever?
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
