If you are having trouble with your ex-husband or baby daddy, I’d like to offer a simple suggestion that will begin to change the dynamics of your relationship overnight. This advice may be helpful in getting or increasing the child support you have been fighting about, getting better cooperation about visitation, or having a more peaceful existence with your ex than you currently have.
Respect Him
Women hate to hear that because they automatically say that he doesn’t deserve respect because he’s a deadbeat, irresponsible jerk! What you are saying may be true, but if you don’t learn this one little secret you will always have trouble with men.
If you listen for a second to the man or men in your life you will hear him always complaining about not getting respect. You are not giving it to him, the boss is not giving it to him, and society is not giving it to him. He may not use the words quite like Rodney Dangerfield did, “I gets no respect around here!”, but he is saying it in so many other words.
If you are currently divorced and/or have a child with your ex you can apply the same principles. Even though things didn’t work out between the two of you, throwing a little respect his way will go a long way in the future. Belittling and discrediting him is counterproductive. It only serves to make him angrier and harder to get along with. Every discussion and encounter with him will be like taking a thousand needles and sticking them in your eye. Don’t do that to yourself or your children.
But, how do I respect him you ask? There is nothing to respect you argue! Well let me tell you a little secret: You are not respecting for his sake, you are respecting him for your sanity. It’s his nature to need respect, especially from a woman and the mother of his children. Remember, you want a conflict-free relationship with him because you have a child together, which makes your life easier. More next time…
Note: This advice is only for women who are dating or married to normal and average men. If you are in an abusive relationship this may not help you. You should get out as quickly as possible. If you are being physically, sexually, or verbally abused please get help. If you choose to use the relationship tactic above you do so at your own risk. Men who are emotionally unstable are not likely to respond positively to this relationship tactic in a way that will benefit you.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
