Single Mom Money Tips Series – The Spending Plan

by | Sep 1, 2011


Through the month of September you will see tips to help you as a single mom deal with your finances in a positive way.

The first tip in this series is develop a spending plan to avoid overspending. With this tool you are light years ahead of most people. Not surprisingly, the word budget conjures up the feeling of restriction and lack; so I like the word spending plan.

When you develop a plan you feel more in control and it’s easier to stop overspending. Taking care of your needs and including wants does much to calm your mind.

Take into account everything you need first. List it all; rent, clothes, medication, etc., and then assign a dollar amount to each item.

It may take looking at past spending trends to get an accurate view of how much you spend for bills, food, clothing, car/transportation, and entertainment. Review your receipts, your checkbook, credit card statements, and bank statements to see where your money is going.

If you bank online you have a ready source for seeing where your money goes. Most banks have this option so you are not plugged in now is a good time to start.

Now that you what you want and where you money is going, developing your spending plan is a lot easier.

Write your spending plan in a notebook and call it your money diary. If you’d rather keep it online try Google Docs, Mint.com, or any other online budgeting program.

Check out this Spending Plan Online Calculator to create an instant budget. http://www.crown.org/tools/calculators/budgeting_spendingplan.asp

Uncomfortable in Your Life? Change It!

by | Aug 4, 2011

by Alicia Edmonson

As the start of a new school year approaches, I am readying myself to whip out my trusty pre-school year to-do list. School physical? check. Dental check up? check. School supplies? check. School clothes? check.

Now I don’t know about your kids, but mine grow like there are endless resources in our clothing budget.

Just the other day, I was looking at my oldest son’s shoes which are well worn in the toe. ‘You need new shoes huh?’ I stated, more to myself that to him. ” Yeah, my toes are squished, it hurts” he replied and then ran off to play. My mind soon drifted off to the other nuances of the day. My mind drifting from one thing to the next, a seemingly endless list of tasks I needed to complete.

 

Have you ever felt ’squished’ as my 6 year old so eloquently put, in your life? You know what I’m talking about. That uncomfortable feeling, that sense of not being settled; of not feeling content.

 

I have experienced that feeling on more than one occasion. Most recently was when I began my journey with life coaching. I suddenly felt out of place just about everywhere I went. Here I was with this ‘new awareness’ and I felt that others just simply didn’t get it. I hadn’t yet learned how to navigate in a world of darkness as a light-worker.

I felt most out of place at my ‘day job’. I began to feel very uncomfortable and unhappy. This began to concern me. I was very confused and perplexed as to why this was happening.

One evening during a session I asked, ‘why this is happening?’ The answer came, ‘Because you asked for it’. Huh?!?!?! OK… After I picked my jaw up from the floor I took time to listen. I realized this area of my life was uncomfortable because I have outgrown it.

 

I prayed for a way to be my own boss, help others, and use my life experiences and gifts to help others to heal. How else would I have been motivated to change, had I not been uncomfortable in my work situation? I was so uncomfortable, that I began to make changes and set goal to change my situation.

So if you are uncomfortable or unhappy in some aspect of your life perhaps this is a nudge from above, a tap on the shoulder from God telling you it’s time to move on.

 

Is your job driving you crazy? Change it. Go back to school. Start a business. Are you tired of the hairstyle you’ve had for 20 yrs (yes I’m talking to you Mom). Try something new.

 

The bottom line is life is so precious and short, way too short to be unhappy, so find what makes you happy and DO IT!

 

How I Dropped 3 Dress Sizes in 7 Months (My Weight Loss Story)

How I Dropped 3 Dress Sizes in 7 Months (My Weight Loss Story)

by | Jul 31, 2011

Happy New Year! I thought it would be fitting to feature my weight loss story to help motivate those of you who have decided to drop a few pounds this year. I believe losing weight is just as much about changing your mind and beliefs as it is about changing your eating habits (I don’t believe in diets) and moving your body.

Read and ask me any question you want in the comments. We all need support so I’m here to help.

RichSingleMomma.com Weight Loss Challenge

Top Left – Size 6 | Bottom Left – Size 14 | Right – Size 8

I’ve lost weight and I’m happy about it. It was a conscious decision but it wasn’t a major undertaking.

Over the last three years I went from a size 8 to a size 14. That’s pretty significant and I was starting to feel it in my joints. It actually hurt to sit, stand, and lay down for extended periods of time.

My knees started to look like two chubby little faces. Though I love chubby little cute faces I don’t want them on my knees.

I Wanted to Lose Weight But Not Look Anorexic
So I decided I would drop (more…)

Single Mom Self-sufficiency: Think You Don’t Need Any Help? Think Again

by | Jun 30, 2011

What does that really mean? Does it mean we do not need anyone else? Does it mean we are super women who can take on the world alone with children and the kitchen sink in tow?

Self-sufficiency simply means we are capable of taking care of ourselves in an adequate and meaningful way. It means we can stand on our own two feet and use the resources within to meet the basic needs we have.

However, we still need to ask for help and support from others. We still need to gracefully accept offers of help from family, friends, community agencies, and co-workers.

Self-sufficiency does not mean independence or a “woman-as-an-island” mentality. Is that really the message you want to send your daughters so she can sabotage all her future relationships? Do you want your son to grow up thinking all women are super women and he’s not good for much of anything?

Acknowledging the need for human interaction and assistance is a valid part of being self-sufficient and beautifully whole through this journey of single motherhood.

Rich Single Momma’s Road to Self-Sufficiency and Financial Independence, Part 2

by | Jun 19, 2011

In part one I told you about my foundation in the church, the bad decisions I made, my early career days and progression in pay. I also shared my decision to relocate after my son was born.

Here is the rest of the story in my journey toward self-sufficiency and financial independence as a single mom.

I changed jobs and began working at the college I would eventually graduate from. I enrolled in an evening program that would allow me to work and go to school. Eventually, I changed programs and started school full-time.

I continued working part-time and taking care of my children. Through connections I was able to find childcare for my daughter and my sister kept my son for a couple of years.

More Detours But Determination Ruled My Life

I went through a really rough patch during this time that almost broke my and my children’s spirit. We got through it and I never quit school, though it would have been understandable if I had.

I graduated with honors at the end of my program and got a full time position at the company I had an internship through. During my internship I was making just over $12 an hour. After the internship my pay jumped to over $17 an hour. Within a year I was promoted and my pay jumped again to over $20 an hour.

Determination’s Great Payoff

I was able to purchase a house and a new car two years after I graduated and was no longer dependent on child support. Through it all I remained focused on my goal of self-sufficiency and financial independence. I continued to learn and grow professionally and pick up skills that make me very marketable today.

Though I made terrible choices in men I made good decisions in my career. Today I am a consultant and freelance technical writer. I can command a high hourly rate now and live very comfortably with my children in one of the better areas of town.

My car is almost paid for and I am back in school training for a career in the healthcare industry. This change will increase my earning potential and allow me to have more financial independence.

My Future is Bright!

I am planning to buy another home in a couple of years, but right now I am enjoying the mental freedom of not having to deal with maintenance issues and yard work. I believe it’s all about choices and making decisions that fit into the life I am creating for me and my children.

From the beginning of this single parent journey I began making choices that would position me for success. I haven’t always done things perfectly or made the best decisions. But I kept my eye on my ultimate goal; to be financially independent and raise my children in a healthy environment. Every decision I’ve made systematically moved me toward those goals. Prayer, perseverance, and faith as well as support from family and friends got me where I am today.

Every Single Mom Can Become Self-Sufficient and Financially Free

I believe it is possible for every woman who finds herself in a position of single parenthood to create a great life for herself and her children. There is nothing stopping you except disbelief and fear.

If you will push through those monsters you can do anything. Even if they continue to ride your back you can do anything you want to do. I did it despite going through abusive relationships and meeting people who tried to discourage and sabotage me. But I’ve learned that we can be the biggest saboteur of our dreams.

Don’t believe the lie that says you cannot be self-sufficient and financially free. Don’t believe the people who tell you this is all there is for you. Don’t give in to the fear that tells you, life as a single mom is too overwhelming. There will be days when it feels that way but it will not last.

You CAN Re-Invent Your Life and Begin Again

There were days when the dark cloud of depression was so heavy on me I could not sleep at night. There were times when I wanted to end it all. But I thought about my children and my love for them. They did not ask to be born into this world so I owed it to them to create a better life for them by becoming whole and the best I could become.

I am still a work in progress. I still have my failures, but I get up and start again. If there is nothing else you get from this article get this: You can ALWAYS start again. You can ALWAYS re-invent yourself. You just have to make the decision to begin again and create the life you want.

Rich Single Momma’s Road to Self-Sufficiency and Financial Independence, Part 1

by | Jun 18, 2011

When I was facing single motherhood I did not know that one day I would be self-sufficient and financially independent.

I didn’t have too many high hopes but I kept moving forward even through severe depression, financial hardships, and bad relationships.

But I had a dream of being in a place where I would never have to depend on the government or child support. I believed my dreams would become a reality despite how things looked at the present time.

Starting With a Good Foundation

I’m a big reader. Someone told me many years before that if I learned to love reading I could do anything I wanted to do in my life. I would never be ignorant and subject to the power of others. I could control my destiny.

I also learned the importance of broadening my horizons because if I did I would never be stuck in one place mentally or physically. I lived in a one stop light town for most of my life and I knew I did not want to stay there forever. I saw what staying did to people so I wanted out.

I was born and raised in the church so I had knowledge of God and learned bible scriptures and how to pray. I read the bible and other religious books so my foundation was set.

Detoured by Bad Decisions

My decisions in life weren’t always good, that is how I became a single mother, but my foundation and all I learned made me return to God time and time again. He was faithful and kept me and showed me how to live successfully even though I was single parent and despite what others thought of my and what they felt I deserved.

When I got pregnant with my first child I moved in with my parents. They were a blessing to me and were a great source of support. I also got on the WIC program and Medicaid. When my daughter was three months old I moved into my own place under the Section 8 program.

Working and Training for Success

I was working for the Probate Judges office making a little above minimum wage; $7.65 an hour to be exact. I received food stamps at the time as well. With this combination of work and assistance I was able to live well enough and be comfortable.

I had a car that I purchased with my tax refund so I didn’t have a car note. My dad is an auto mechanic so he helped me find a suitable car. I drove that car for five years.

I eventually got another job at a large insurance company in the IT department. I was making just over $10 an hour and was getting benefits.

I learned as much as I could on the job through the training programs they offered and the online courses they had. I sought out every opportunity to learn about computers, which eventually paid off years down the road.

Yet Another Detour but Recovering

During that time I got pregnant with my second child. I was devastated and scared to death. I made a bad choice in the man I was with, which eventually became evident when I told him I was pregnant.

At the same time he was fired for sexually harassing another woman. He had emotional problems and became a stalker. My dad helped me out regarding him. At five months pregnant he disappeared and I haven’t heard from him since.

After my son was born I began thinking about relocating. I knew I could not raise two children on my salary. I needed more for myself and for them.

I wanted to go back to college and get my bachelor’s degree. I felt I could get a much better job to support us with more education.

I decided to move to the city my sister lived in. I researched jobs and through a friend I found one along with a great apartment.

In part 2 I’ll share more about my journey toward self-sufficiency and financial independence.