I saw this diy no sew Tote Bag craft video on Facebook and had to share with you. It’s so easy for you to do with the kids. Just get an old t-shirt and scissors. No sewing needed. You can make several to carry or for storage. Just use your imagination! This would also make a great side hustle for you or the kids š
SamanthaĀ A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
SamanthaĀ founded the award-winningĀ RichSingleMomma.comā¢, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Parenting is tough. Itās even tougher when you are parenting alone (aka Single Motherhood or Single Parenthood) and your child is having a meltdown. The crazy thing is, the so-called āexpertsā always have something to say to make it seems like you are the parent from hell when your child acts out. Single mom and mega star, Charlize Theron, has learned that she is under no less scrutiny.
Here is what I know about the situation that was photographed without even having to know the situation. Theronās son was likely cranky, upset at not getting his way, tired, or a million other things. Sure she could have stood there and asked him why he was upset, why he didnāt want to get into the car, and had a dialog with him that would have satisfied everyone else but made not one bit of difference in the situation. She was getting nowhere and likely just wanted to take control of a potentially dangerous situation in the parking lot. She probably didnāt want to have the paparazzi snapping picture of her or her child so he would be protected. Of course her young son knows nothing of this and cannot comprehend the danger.
The other side of that coin just might be that he is spoiled and had not gotten āthe talkā before they got out of the car.
What is āthe talkā? Well itās when, I as the parent and authority in this situation tells my child, who has no authority in this situation because I am the parent and am looking out for his well being says, āWhen we get out of this car you will not ask for anything, touch anything, or do anything other than what I tell you to do. When itās time to get into the car you will get into the car. Period.ā That is “the talkā.
In public where there is a ton of distractions and danger for the child I am obligated to make sure he is with me and clear about the objectives. Go into the store, class, event in one piece and leave in one piece and without incident. If I didnāt the police would be on me like white on rice and hear of no other explanation other than it was my responsibility to watch my child. Remember the mothers arrested for leaving their child alone on the playground, allowing their kids to walk home alone, or stay in the car while mom goes on an interview?
Call it controlling. Call it not letting them express themselves. Call it #monstermom behavior. But I call it caring for my child and doing whatever I see is fit and best for me and my child not to meddling on-lookers.
Parenting is tough enough without all the theories from detached third-parties. Itās tough enough without family member meddling, but when the general public meddles, when the government meddles, when the āexpertsā meddle it becomes a big ball of confusion and resentment from the parents in the trenches.
What would I have done in the situation Charlize Theron faced? Probably the same thing except it would not likely have happened to me because I let my kids know very early on that I am a #monstermom, Iām a #crazymom, and I am a #ninjamom too.
I can see what they are doing when Iām not looking. I know what they will say and do before they do it. I beat them to the punch and they are still in awe of me. But I set the tone early in their lives. I let them know that Iām not their friend but am their parent and MY word is lawuntil they move out and can take care of themselves. Sure, I include an amazing dose of love, fairness, discussion, and free will, but it is within the boundaries of common sense and, ādonāt try meā or you will be dealing with the consequences.
Charlize Theron is not a #monstermom. She is just a regular mom dealing with a kid that had a bad day and very little boundaries. But she can fix it when she gets home. Today, just let her get the kid in the car and out of the purview of the meddling media and āexpertsā who have no idea what she was dealing with.
SamanthaĀ A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
SamanthaĀ founded the award-winningĀ RichSingleMomma.comā¢, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
By Tiffany Papageorge, author of My Yellow Balloon
If youāve ever had the experience of being involved in a Fatherās Day-themed activity, craft, or discussion as someone without a father, you know that it can bring up big, painful feelings. In fact, the whole holiday can bring up very difficult feelings for those who donāt have the traditional father-child experience.
Whatever your relationship was or is with your father, whether they are alive and not present or they have died, there is a very real hole in our hearts where they used to be. I want you to know that there are many, many others just like you with a hole in their own hearts for their own fathers.
I also want you to know and to understand that the feelings you feel may be big and scary but they are also important and necessary. I know that sometimes it may feel easier to stuff them deep down inside of ourselves in order not to feel them. This is called emotional bypassing, where we bypass our emotions to feel something more pleasant. Emotional bypassing wonāt work in the end. It might seem to at first, but in the end your true emotions are still living inside of you and, if not acknowledged, can come raging out of you at inappropriate moments and in inappropriate ways. Deep hurt can disguise itself as anger and become more confusing than if you let it out when it was deep hurt. Our emotions can make us sick if they are stuck inside of us for years. Now is the time to face them head on.
Here are a few tips for recognizing and releasing your feelings:
Ā· Invest in a notebook or a journal and write, draw, or color your feelings out. This can be a great release for all of the emotions we feel at Fatherās Day and any other time.
Ā· Find someone who you feel very safe with and comfortable talking to. It could be could be a parent, but it could also be an aunt, uncle, grandparent, teacher, priest, rabbi, pastor, or counselor. This person will be your safe place to go when you need to explore your feelings.
Ā· Donāt be embarrassed! Remember, feelings arenāt good or bad ā they just are. Donāt be afraid of them. Like physical pain, emotional pain is part of a wound that needs to heal.
Ā· Ride the waves. Know that pain and grief often happens in waves. One day, you may be feeling much stronger, only to feel very sad again the next day. Our feelings ebb and flow. Itās all part of the healing process.
Ā· Create a new tradition. On Fatherās Day, while others are celebrating, create a new ritual or tradition to honor your feelings. My personal example is below.
When I didnāt have my father on Fatherās Day, I would write him a letter. I put all of my thoughts and feelings into this letter: the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. Then I decorated the letter with drawings. I would read the letter through a couple of times out loud, giving myself the opportunity to deeply feel my feelings. Often, I would cry. Then I would rip my letter into tiny pieces and put them carefully in a bowl. I would take the bowl outside and plant the shreds in the comfort of the cool, rich, dark soil. On top of them, I sprinkled flower seeds. I lovingly covered my mixture and said a prayer for my dad, for my broken heart, and for my flower seeds. I would water those flowers every day, and as the flowers grew I knew that my feelings for my father were a part of what was feeding those flowers just as much as the water and sun.
All of our experiences and the feelings associated with those experiences, good and bad, become a part of our own soil and the roots of our life. All of our experiences are ours alone and they are a part of the seeds that help us grow into the flower that we will become.
Yes, Fatherās Day is almost here; but just because the stores and commercials say Fatherās Day is something specific doesnāt mean that we all have to buy into it. Feel free and empowered to make your own rituals and traditions. Add to them and change them when it feels right to you. This year and for years to come, make Fatherās Day something that you look forward to in your own special way.
Tiffany Papageorge is an author, speaker and works with parents, teachers and mental health professionals whose mission is to find new ways to reach, capture and engage children who are dealing with the issue of loss. The multi-award-winning My Yellow Balloon is her first picture book and was recently featured on the cover of Foreword Reviews. Learn more at www.myyellowballoon.com.
SamanthaĀ A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
SamanthaĀ founded the award-winningĀ RichSingleMomma.comā¢, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Being a single mom and raising a girl is a no-brainer. You’re a girl. She’s a girl. No problem. But what if you have a boy? How do you raise a son without a father? Recently I asked few experts how single moms can handle raising boys. They shared this adviceā¦
The Experts Speak
Author and Certified Dream Coachā¢ Speaker
I am a Certified Dream Coach and mom. My #1 tip to my Momās Solo clients is simply this: Do NOT try to be the man in your sonās life. Be the model of the woman you hope he falls in love with and has your grandchildren with someday. But donāt try to father him. Your son does need a man in his life. It may not be his dad, but the things our boys learn from other men are just as valuable and necessary as the things they learn from us as moms.
Tara Kennedy-Kline,
Author of Stop Raising Einstein
Certified Dream Coach. stopraisingeinstein.com
Parenting Specialist, Author, Counselor, Speaker
It is the connection between the child and parent, male or female that provides the foundation a boy needs. Our culture is steeped in male entitlement, so parents must work hard to support their sons in ways that our culture does not. Single moms should start early. Donāt accept the āboys will be boysā when they use their aggression on others. Make sure that boys have strong male influences in their lives– teachers, coaches, uncles, friends, etc.
Bonnie Harris
Author of When Kids Push Your Buttons bonnieharris.com
Early Childhood Educator
Ā I am an early childhood educator (9 years) and a mom of 2 boys. Here is my tip: Take your sons out on regular dates. Use this opportunity to teach them things like table manners and basic etiquette. Have real conversations with them.
Look outside of your heart and into the community around you for the type of man that you would like your son to grow up like. It might be a school teacher, an uncle or the guy who cuts your sonās hair.
When you find the right candidate for a role model, approach them and be candidātell them you respect the way they live their life and you would like them to mentor your son in the ways of life. Be clear you do not want to be involved and just want to give your son someone to look up to.
Obviously a mom cannot be a mom and dad at the same time. Having responsible male mentors as part of the boyās life helps compensate for not having a father in the home.
Single moms should identify target behaviors that are indicative of being responsible young men. This may include respectful language, polite tone, following directions, and other helpful behaviors. Mom should model and explain to their sons what this behavior is. Moms can limit inappropriate behavior by setting limits. Behaviors to discourage in young men might be back talking, swearing, lying, aggressive behavior, etc.
While you want your son to be responsible, you donāt want to place an undue burden on him either. Too many moms (and outside individuals, such as grandparents) tell a son, in the wake of a divorce or death that he is the man of the family now. He may need to shoulder responsibility for some chores his dad undertook, but he should NOT be saddled with ALL of them and CERTAINLY NOT with the heavy mantle of responsibility that come with being the man in the family.
Cynthia MacGregor
Author of Daddy Doesnāt Live Here Anymore cynthiamacgregor.com
Child, Couple and Family Psychotherapist
As the 90210 child psychologist expert I can tell how it really is living behind the line of fire. I hear from kids and families every hour.Ā Boys need a father or male role model to help the boy make a full identification as a male, in order to fully say; I am thatā¦..I want to be like him.
Ask your son who he thinks of as a male role model, and ten characteristics of a good man. Then ask him how you can help him to learn those skills. Make developing those traits a spoken part of your goals for him, and praise his demonstration when he does any of those characteristics.
āMany of the troubles young people face would be eliminated with the establishment and execution of rules. Rules loudly scream care and concern. Rules provide stability and traditionā The best way to enforce rules is through chores. Chores keep them mentally busy developing a strong value system.
Excerpted from the book, K.I.S.S. Begins at Home. Boys need a firm hand to become responsible whereas moms often baby their sons.
The number one tip is to be consistent in your discipline. This is easy to say you will do, but it can be very difficult to actually do. The relationship between a child and parent is a battle of wills. Who ever has the stronger will will win, and this is a battle that a parent CANNOT afford to lose.
Itās important that moms create a safe space for boys to feel comfortable to share and talk. Help them see the value in communicating their feelings. With more than 15 yearās experience and current history of providing training and development services with leading Fortune 500 companies, I am a Certified Breakthrough ParentingĀ® Instructor and Intrinsic CoachĀ® in Health and Wellness. Iāve helped numerous moms of boys navigate the challenges of raising sons, especially the adolescent years.
I am the Founder of Raising Great Menā¢-Real talk about raising boys to become men of character and Empathy not Apathyā¢-a movement to address boysā desensitization to violence. I coach moms to guide their sons as they journey from boyhood to manhood.Ā IĀ also speak about the challenges of raising a family during military deployment (My husbandās been deployed three times!)
With the recent cases of police brutality and murder it is important for me to educate my children, especially my 14 son about his rights.
I’ve been trying not to let it bother me or allow fear to over take me but it is hard not to feel some kind of way about the police. It is obvious that I’m an African-American woman and my son is the same color as me.
It is clear that he is more of a target than any other ethnicity. It is my job to coach him and ensure that he does not get unlawfully detained or end up in a morgue. The struggle, as they say, is real. (more…)
SamanthaĀ A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
SamanthaĀ founded the award-winningĀ RichSingleMomma.comā¢, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
It seems to me that the words āteensā and āsavingsā are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Well at least with my kids. In a time when there is easy access to just about everything and endless marketing messages, saving is the last thing kids are thinking about. The other side of the coin is that kids technically donāt really need to save for anything because many kids get whatever they want from doting parents (Iām talking to myself here too). Work, sacrifice, and waiting seem like foreign concepts. Iām not bashing teens, but rather bringing to light the barriers to savings they seem to have.
Empowering Teens to Get Into the Savings Habit
Getting in the habit of saving is not something Iāve pushed very hard. That said, I want my kids to learn responsibility with money so Iāve done a few things to help them see the importance of saving. My problem is that I love giving them awesome things no matter how large or small. I love surprising them and seeing their faces light up. I almost think it is an addiction. But Iām recovering because I see that giving to them all the time instead of letting them earn and save for what they want does not warrant gratitude. That is what I really want them learn; how to be thankful and appreciative of what they get.
Lessons I’ll Use to Empower My Teens to Save
So my lesson begins in teaching them how to save. I read an article on the Regions Bank website about this very topic. They offered great feedback that Iām sure I can begin implementing. They offer five tips to encourage teens to save money.
Develop a Savings Habit
Use Online Tools
Differentiate Between Needs, Wants, and Wishes
Establish a Financial Game Plan Together
Keep a Record of Spending and Savingoffer begin implementing.They offered great feedbackĀ article on REhat they get.
and save for what they want does not wa
Encourage the Savings Habit
When my kids get birthday or holiday money itās tempting to spend it all in one place. My 14-year-old son just wants food and games at this stage in life. As long as he has food and a bed heās pretty happy. Recently heās been talking about doing paintball for his birthday so he said he wants to save for that. My daughter wanted an iPad when she turned 15. I made a deal with her to save her birthday money and any other money she made to pay half for the device. She agreed and kept up her end of the bargain.Ā I paid the other half and insurance. She still holds on to her precious iPad today even though she complains that itās a bit outdated. She will always remember saving for what she wanted.
Online Banking
Iām big about banking online and being connected. I use tools like my bank app and Mint.com. My daughter is connected to our bank and can check her account balance when she needs the information. She can also see her savings account amount. Iāll have to set up an account for my son on my account and start letting him use his card and track his expenses. This is a good habit to start.
What they Want vs What they Need
Paintball is definitely a want for my son.Ā Like I said before, he is all about playing games. He hasnāt hit the āgotta look good for the ladiesā stage just yet. So buying clothes, shoes, and cologne is not a top priority. Heās not into designer sneakers so that has saved my budget. He loves getting new shoes when I get them but doesnāt make a big deal out of it.
My daughter on the other hand loves new clothes, make-up, and electronics. She wants them but is still working on making the most of her current wardrobe. She has had a wakeup call recently since she drives her own car now. Clearly she feels the need for gas, maintenance, and registration fees. She feels the pain each time she goes to the gas pump so her trips are few and far between; even to the mall. She has said she needs to save her money for when she goes to college and needs gas money. Savings for her will be kind of forced after all.
Planning for Their Financial Future
As they grow and their needs change in the process, we will need to talk about their financial future. My desire is for them to learn about business and entrepreneurship. They have it in them to use their creativity to provide a product or service. My daughter has dreams of being a private pilot. It will require a pretty large chunk of money to go through the final classes and do her test flight.
In the long term they have goals of finishing school and training for their profession. We will plan to sit down and discuss those goals and come up with a financial game plan.
Recording their Financial Activities
When I grew up I learned the basics of how to track my income and expenses using pen and paper. A simple ledger was enough to keep up with my allowance and payments for my small business. Today there are several options for recording financial activity. As part of my sonās curriculum he will learn how to record income and expenses using a simple spreadsheet system. It will be a great start and help him sharpen his math and critical thinking skills.
Empowering my teens to save and manage their money is a good first step to empowering them through life. They will feel in control of their finances and be able to make good choices throughout their lives.
This post was sponsored in part by Regions Bank. The content and opinions are my own.
Images by StockImages,Ā suphakit73, and adamr at freedigitalphotos.net
SamanthaĀ A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
SamanthaĀ founded the award-winningĀ RichSingleMomma.comā¢, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
![[Video] Cheap Kid’s Craft – No Sew DIY Tote Bag](https://i0.wp.com/richsinglemomma.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/nosewtote.jpg?resize=613%2C345&ssl=1)
Images by StockImages,Ā suphakit73, and adamr at freedigitalphotos.net
