I’ve heard of and know a few people who have had their identity stolen as children. It’s mostly family members who where the culprit. Please do not use your children’s identity to open accounts for any reason. They deserve a financial future that hasn’t been ruined by you or any of your family members.
By Jason Alderman
I’m sorry to report that child identity fraud is alive and well in 2014. If anything, the problem may be worsening as identity thieves devise new methods to steal – and use – children’s personal information. Most commonly, they’ll harvest kids’ dormant Social Security numbers (SSNs) and use them to illegally obtain jobs or open fraudulent bank and credit accounts, mortgages or car loans.
Many victims don’t realize there’s a problem until they later apply for a student loan, bank account, job or apartment and are turned down because of the poor credit history someone else racked up. Some families are even hounded by collection agencies or arrested because the debts or criminal activities were so extreme.
There are no completely foolproof methods to protect your children’s identities, but here are some precautions you can take:
While it’s tempting to simply not register your kids for SSNs until they turn 18, that’s not practical in today’s world. For one thing, they’ll need one to be claimed as dependents on your taxes. You may also need SSNs for your kids to obtain medical coverage or government services or to open bank accounts in their names.
Because each person’s SSN is unique, it’s not uncommon for schools, healthcare providers, insurance companies, banks and others to require them as ID. However, don’t be afraid to ask:
Why do they need to use an SSN – is there a legal requirement?
Will they accept alternative identification?
What will happen if you don’t disclose it?
What security precautions do they take with personal information?
Will they agree not to use the SSN as your child’s personal identification number on correspondence, account statements or ID cards?
Watch for these clues your child’s personal data may have been compromised:
They receive preapproved credit account offers.
They receive calls or billing statements from collection agencies, creditors or government agencies.
You’re unable to open a bank account in their name because one already exists with the same SSN.
They’re denied credit, employment, a driver’s license or college enrollment for unknown or credit-related reasons.
Remember, there could be legitimate reasons why your child is receiving credit offers. For example, it could be a marketing outreach from an affiliate of your bank or because you opened a college fund in their name.
If you strongly suspect or have evidence that identity theft has been committed, you can:
File a police report and keep a copy as proof of the crime.
Notify the Federal Trade Commission (877-438-4338), whose Identity Theft site contains information on fraud alerts, credit freezes, how to work with police and much more (www.ftc.gov).
Ask Social Security (800-772-1213) whether anyone has reported income using your child’s SSN. Search “Identity Theft” at www.ssa.gov for information.
Contact the IRS’ Identity Protection Unit (800-980-4490).
The FTC recommends contacting the three credit bureaus around your child’s 16th birthday to see whether they have credit reports on file. (There usually wouldn’t be unless they’re an authorized user on one of your accounts.) If there is a report – and it has errors due to fraud or misuse – you’ll have time to correct it before you kid needs to use credit.
Warn your kids about the dangers of revealing personal information by phone, email, or social networking. Don’t hesitate to monitor their accounts and install parental blocking software. And remember, if they share your computer, a downloaded virus could infect your accounts as well.
Jason Alderman directs Visa’s financial education programs. To Follow Jason Alderman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/PracticalMoney.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Last year my daughter attended an aviation camp for a week at no cost to me other than a $25 application fee. This camp is not widely publicized but is what I consider an elite camp because it includes flying lessons and a day trip to another city. My sister found the camp during a search for summer camps for her kids.
The camp is sponsored by corporate partners so most kids were able to attend at no cost, but there are other camps out there that offer specialized experiences that may require a premium price tag. So how can you afford to send your bright kid to this kind of camp without breaking the bank? Here are six tips:
Apply early
Now is the time to apply for summer camp. The earlier in the year you apply the better. This requires keeping your eye on the camp’s application start date, which is often posted on their website. This is not the time to procrastinate so get in gear and find the camps you want your kids to attend. Find the website and jot down the first day they accept applications on your calendar. When that day rolls around grab the application, fill it out completely, and submit it ASAP!
Apply for scholarships
Sometimes you will not see any information about a scholarship on the website. This can be discouraging but do not fear. Often camps do not post information about financial aid because it may not be official and/or they do not want an influx of applications. This may be due to limited funds, not enough staff, or other reasons. The best thing to do is ask if they provide assistance, either full or partial, then make your case for why your kids is worthy of that assistance. Just ask!
Go through your company
Your company may have a connection with a summer camp. Ask human resources and ask the camp itself if there is an affiliation with your company. There may be a discount available for you that is not widely advertised. Check the employee discount boards for summer camps that may have posted an ad. Often they attach discounts for employees only.
Speak to the director
Relationships go a long way so begin cultivating a relationship with the camp director. Call to ask questions about the application, logistics, and special needs your child may have. The director can give you insights to other camp opportunities with partners or within their own camp. The director may strike a deal with you to barter services if you ask. You may be able to get the camp fee reduced by half or completely written off if you provide a valuable service.
Ask family/friends for introductions
You may have family or friends that know camp personnel and in best case scenario, the director. Friends love helping friends so if they know you want to put your child in an elite or specialized camp they will likely come to your aid. A model friend of mine knows my daughter is interested in modeling so she tells me about opportunities I might never hear about. She keeps her eye out for us because I’ve asked her to mentor my daughter. People love helping you when you express a genuine interest in them and in improving your child’s life. Family and friends may also be a source of funding for the camp you want your child to attend. Again, you must be clear about what you want and have conversations with people who care. They will not know what you need until you ask.
Volunteer
The power of volunteering can be effective in the case of getting your child into an elite summer camp. If you are in a position to volunteer for the camp in question ask the director if you can do it in exchange for admission to the program for your child. Volunteering can mean many things. You can volunteer to check kids in at the start of the day. You can volunteer to bring supplies and snacks. You can volunteer to do paperwork or the camp newsletter. You can also have your child volunteer to earn part of his or her way to camp for the summer. It is a good way to show alternatives to getting what you truly desire and how to work hard at the same time.
Getting your child into an elite summer camp program may seem challenging but it is not impossible. Timing, gumption, and resourcefulness are the key to opening the doors of opportunity. If you want to expose your child to new opportunities take the initiative and apply to the programs you want today!
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Now that he is 13 years old and a few inches taller than me he thinks he’s grown and tells me so, quite often, while comparing our heights. I firmly let him know being grown is not about how tall you are but how mature you are. He just shrugs and walks away.
But back to why he is driving me to the brink. I am about to air some of his dirty laundry for the sake of illustrating an important parenting point so don’t judge me (or him).
When His Mess Disrupts My Peace There is H*ll to Pay
My creative son the Roman soldier. Everything made from cardboard and scrap fabric. Gotta love ’em!
Like mother like son. (This is when he was shorter than me…about a year ago)
My son is organizationally challenged but very creative. He gets it honestly from me but his mess is on a whole other level. I mean clothes everywhere and no matter how much I threaten to throw them all away, he is content with his mess.
I’m not one of those mothers who picks up behind him or nags him to clean everyday. My minimum request is to pick up your stuff and make sure there are no offensive odors coming from the room. Being driven to the brink is when his mess spills over into other parts of the house.
“Pizza under my sofa?”
“Really dude?”
” Unbelievable!”
Laying Down the Law Like Only a Ninja Momma Can
His sister ratted him out and I latched on the back of his arm (you know that really tender spot back there) like Cujo. Okay not that badly but I wanted to. I pinched and held on for a good minute while driving my point home about not leaving food under my furniture.
He took it like a little man and refused to cry or let a tear fall but his eyes got pretty round and he understood my point. I asked him what he has to say about it. “I’m sorry” was his response and “I won’t do it again” was his reply when I asked, “what else”.
The Prayer that Would Save Him From Ruin
He is just too cute! I prayed I wouldn’t spoil him for the second woman in his life.
Who could resist the face of this little prince?
My kid was born handsome and I knew if I didn’t put myself in check I would ruin him for the world and any woman he ended up with. So I said a prayer for self-control so I wouldn’t be blinded by his cuteness and spoil him rotten. It’s worked so far but I still have to remain focused on the goal.
I am raising a man, a world citizen who will l eventually leave my home and become a member of society. He can’t make it if I let stuff like pizza under the sofa slide by without consequences.
Lecturing Teaching Personal Responsibility
Later I lectured him on the importance of being responsible and taking initiative. Keeping his room clean and learning are his only real jobs, while going out and working to provide a roof over his head and food to eat is my job.
He then mumbled something (because he dare not say it out loud) about learning being too hard. *Sigh* Big mistake to say that buddy!
Enlightening the Young Grasshopper About Learning
“Too hard?”
“Learning is too hard?”
Well you know I went into another 10 minute diatribe about learning. I explained that learning is something he is constantly doing. When he watches movies and tv shows (with the subtitles on) on Netflix and Amazon Prime he is learning.
When he plays video games he is learning. When he talks to people like grandpa and his aunt he is learning.
When he goes on YouTube and learns how to make a sheath for his new sword out of duck tape he is learning.
“So learning is easy and I don’t ever want to hear you say it’s hard again.”
“Do you understand?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“You no longer have an excuse for not learning because it’s easy.”
Cracking the Whip and Doing Chores Builds Lifelong Character
After my lecture, er…teaching moment, I gave him cleaning instructions and left him to it.
Was he angry? Yes.
Did I care? Nope.
Why?
Because his temporary anger is less important than the long term lessons he will learn and that will equip him for the future.
I’m not his friend but his parent and life coach. Like a dojo master of life I must be tough when I need to be and kind/compassionate when the situation calls for it.
I’ve think I’ve learned to find a balance with both my kids. They each require different coaching styles from me. Where one can handle being fussed at the other dissolves into tears. One is stubborn and tough while the other is more pliable. Knowing their personalities is important in this process. Building character is the goal regardless of their personality because it is what matters at the end of the day.
How do you deal with your son (or daughter) when he/she threatens to drive you to the brink?
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Our year of travel continues. This time we went to Universal Studios Orlando and the Family Forward Retreat. It was really a treat for us because we had never been to Universal Studios. Being a parent blogger I had the opportunity to learn about the Family Forward Retreat organized by the Mom It Forward team. They are a great bunch of ladies that went all out to make our time amazing.
The retreat was all about building strong families no matter what kind they are. We fit right in as a single parent family and showed how we too can be a Super Hero Family (the retreat theme).
On the Road to Universal Studios Orlando!
We got on the road for the 7-hour drive on Wednesday morning. I rented a car from Hertz rentals and had quite an interesting experience. I will tell you about that in another post. Despite the challenges we ended up with a 2-level upgrade through USAA’s member perks.
We drive down to Florida in the sporty 2013 Impala. I really enjoyed driving that car seeing as I’m a speed demon. Fortunately, I didn’t get any tickets. The ride was smooth but not very family friendly. It had the space but no cup holders in the back, uggghhh!
Loews Royal Pacific Resort
We survived and made it to the beautiful Royal Pacific Island Resort where we were to stay. Talk about beautiful! See the pictures below for evidence of the paradise we stayed in.
When we walked into the Royal Pacific Resort we were greeted by friendly faces from the valet to the front desk staff. The manager came out and personally said hello and assured us that we could come to him for anything we needed.
This was a massive property complete with a zen-like water garden off the lobby, plenty of shops, several restaurants that we splurged on. The breakfast buffet was heavenly. I think I like the large floor to ceiling windows that brought the outside in.
We stayed in a double bedroom that was comfortable. I can’t say our view was all that great because of the construction going on at the time. We honestly didn’t spend much time in the room because there was so much to do. It was our official crash pad. All in all I would definitely want to go back and I’m sure the kids would too.
Pre-Planning with a Budget
I made a budget for food and gas before our trip. Thanks to my convenient Bluebird card I was able to stay on track for the most part. I admit I did get a little wild with my spending, but the bulk of my expenses were safely tucked away on the card so I didn’t have to tap into my regular checking account.
Family Forward Fun
The first part of the trip was spent with the other families at the retreat. It was a very well organized event that incorporated every member of the family. I liked that my kids were just as much a part of the retreat as I was. I’ve gone to other conferences were they’ve had to basically fend for themselves or be bored waiting for me to finish my seminars. This family retreat was truly family focused.
There were family activities and crafts we could do together. It was fun to come up with unique ideas for our crafts. The presenters were very good and kept the kids’ attention for the most part.
I think the most fun thing we did together was the photo booth. We got to show our silly side in the pictures. Snap Photo Booth did an amazing job. We got to go through the booth two times so we had twice the fun.
We had our first chance to step into Universal Studios when we got an exclusive viewing of Wizarding World of Harry Potter at the Island of Adventures. It threatened to rain but it held off long enough for us to taste the surprisingly delicious Butter Beer and interesting Hogwarts desserts at the Dessert Party.
One of the best parts of the trip was going to see The Blue Man Group. I have never been to a show like that before. I’ve wanted to see them for years but never got the chance until this trip. From start to finish all of our senses were engaged. We laughed, yelled, and danced. It was a booty-shaking party. The kids and I even got to take a picture with one of the Blue Men. It was interesting that they don’t even speak when they are not on stage. Maybe it’s all the blue paint, LOL!
The Family Forward Retreat is definitely one I would attend again. I felt closer to my kids and could feel they were happy and content to be there bonding with me and each other.
Here is a slide show of our entire trip. I believe Universal Studios Orlando is definitely the best attraction for older kids and adults hands down.
Have you been to Universal Studios Orlando before? What was your favorite ride?
The post sponsored in part by Bluebird by American Express
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
One of my biggest fears when my children were young was that someone would try to take them away from me. Whether it was their father, the state, my parents, or anyone who thought they could do a better job than me.
I’m learning that this is the fear of many single mothers because they have either been threatened or they suppose they are not good enough mothers. I thought I was not an adequate provider or nurturer for a long time so I was driven to put myself in a better position financially. It was tough to feel this pressure because it added to the stress I was already feeling, which contributed to deeper depression.
A Light Bulb Moment for Me
One day I realized that no one can take care of my kids like I can. They can’t know what is best for them because I trust myself to raise them with love, nurture, and wisdom. It became clear that many people who judged me for being a single mom thought they could do a better job because they had more money, a so-called more stable environment, or a house with two adults in it.
Believing a Lie Lead to Self-Doubt and Depression
I bought into the lie that I was inadequate because I didn’t do things the traditional way. I didn’t regiment my kid’s lives by keeping them on a strict schedule. I didn’t have the neatest apartment. I didn’t attend all the PTA meetings or wasn’t a room parent. I compared myself to people who seemed to have it all together and tried to live up to their standards.
Unfortunately I dug a deep hole of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I forgot about all the good things I did for my kids like shower them with hugs and kisses, apologize when I was grumpy so they would see I was human, sit and talk with them about their little issues, teach them how to choose their own clothes and shoes instead of doing everything for them, and make them feel important. I did so many things right but I was focused on all the wrong things others pointed out about my life as a single mother.
Points Missed for Being an Awesome Mother
They didn’t see that I was working and going to school full-time. They failed to see how I helped others with things they simply didn’t know how to do. They couldn’t see me being creative with meals or shopping on the limited income I had. They could not see me pouring positive thoughts into my children’s lives or understand the struggle I had to put them first when my ex targeted them for abuse.
Standing My Ground and Fighting Judgment for Being a Single Mom
Today if anyone dared judge me for being a single mother I’d laugh in their face. If anyone attempted to take them from me they would have a mama bear to contend with. My kids would fight tooth and nail to stay with me because they know that with mom, there is love, acceptance, and security.
What to do if Someone Threatens to Take Your Kids
If you are struggling with someone who is questioning your value as parent, challenge them to do what you do 24/7. Stand your ground against the controlling behavior and emotional abuse they are subjecting you to, because that is what it boils down to.
If someone is threatening to take you to court be sure to document everything they say and do as well as how you have been the best parent possible for your children. Stay above negativity and act as a mature woman would. You have the power to fight against threats if you will only believe you can.
If you’ve made mistakes in the past acknowledge them, ask forgiveness if appropriate, and forgive yourself. You are a different person now so don’t let anyone throw your past in your face. Everyone deserves a second chance and you have the ability to reinvent your life so you and your children can thrive and not just survive.
Have you ever been threatened over child custody? How did you handle it? What advice would you give to other moms?
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
You made it; your baby has graduated into toddlerhood. And now you’re looking forward to a year with fewer expenses. Soon diapers will be a thing of the past, the baby food mill can be put in storage along with the Exersaucer, bouncy seat and baby swing. And watching your little bundle of joy run around like a whirlwind makes your heart smile. But wait, he’s not that steady on his feet and just knocked over your favorite flower vase. That will be $35 to replace. And is he rubbing his ear? Not another ear infection. He just finished his medicine. Sound familiar?
The 2013 figures from the Department of Health and Human Services (based on a U.S. Department of Agriculture survey) (http://www.hhs.gov) calculate that the basic annual cost of raising a child is $4,020, which doesn’t sound so bad until you add the cost of raising that same kid to age 18 and figure in the 30 year average inflation rate of 3% which brings us to an average $234,900 for those earning between $59,410 and $102,870.
Yikes…these numbers are pretty scary. And they don’t even include those surprise expenses during the toddler years. Here are just a few that could rear their ugly heads.
Unexpected Food Costs – You want your toddler to eat but he is so picky. And when he doesn’t like something, he refuses to eat. But you’ve already used this week’s food money. Now what?
Don’t get into the habit of preparing a second or third meal for your toddler when he won’t eat. Continue to offer him a variety of foods, but have one stand-by. In my house if my little ones wouldn’t eat what I made they could have yogurt. All that extra food costs money.
Let him help you prepare the meals. Mixing the mashed potatoes and tasting, pouring the salad dressing on and just being a part of the process can tickle those toddler taste buds!
Unexpected Medical and Dental Bills – According to http://www.webmd.com toddlers can get an average of nine colds per year. But what about those chronic ear infections, head lice and unexpected trips to the ER? And that trip to the dentist for a chipped tooth. These all cost money. Think about the following:
When your toddler needs antibiotics, ask the pediatrician if it’s okay to use generic. They are much less costly.
If your toddler will be on a medication long term, ask the pediatrician if he has any samples. Or contact the drug companies as many times they will have coupons or will work with you to lower the cost.
Make sure you understand your family’s medical and dental insurance coverage, including trips to the ER. One unexpected ER visit can mess up your budget for months.
Unexpected Repairs – You probably feel like your washer and dryer are already working overtime. And what’s that humming noise coming from the refrigerator? All your appliances need to be in tiptop shape when you have a toddler. Here are a few tips to save your wallet:
When you buy a new appliance, consider purchasing the service plan if it’s in your budget. It could be a lifesaver in the long run.
If you are buying a second-hand appliance, don’t hand that money over until you plug it in and see that it’s in good working order.
If you’re going to hire a handyman to fix a broken appliance, make sure to check his references. An “I can fix anything” neighbor could spell disaster in more ways than one.
Broken Toys, Knick Knacks and Valuables – Your toddler’s favorite lovey is lost and she can’t go to sleep without it. The wheels just fell off your son’s fire truck. And Grandma’s picture is smashed on the floor. That extra money to replace these things just isn’t there. Here are a few suggestions:
If your toddler won’t go to sleep without her favorite blue bear, do yourself a favor and buy another one, just in case. Check Amazon.com, Ebay.com or local toy stores for the best prices. You’ll save yourself a lot of extra heartache and sleepless nights if you have a replacement. And remember to take the replacement on family trips.
Rotate your toddler’s toys on a monthly basis so if something breaks you can pull out a surprise from last month. Old is new and fun and it’s easy to re-direct most toddlers to other activities.
Toddlers are fast, compulsive and will knock things over. So put those valuables out-of- reach. It’s expensive to replace them and many can’t be replaced at all.
Having a savings is tough for most of us in this day and age. But putting away even $5 a week will add up and help when those unexpected costs arise. Toddlers grow up fast so enjoy every minute. Because before you know it, he’ll be asking for the keys to the car.
Blythe Lipman is the president of Baby Instructions. She is passionate about babies, toddlers and their parents. After working in the field for over thirty-five years, she wrote her fourth award-winning book, HELP! MYTODDLER CAME WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS, now available at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, Audible.com and all major bookstores. You can hear Blythe’s weekly radio show, Baby and Toddler Instructions each Wednesday, 11am EST @ www.toginet.com Blythe is available for in-home, video and telephone consultations. You can contact Blythe at babyinstructions@cox.net or call her office (480)-510-1453. Become her Fan on Facebook at http://bit.ly/IB7HTi and Twitter http://bit.ly/AcUiE4 and visit her website: http://www.babyinstructions.com
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
I’ve heard of and know a few people who have had their identity stolen as children. It’s mostly family members who where the culprit. Please do not use your children’s identity to open accounts for any reason. They deserve a financial future that hasn’t been ruined by you or any of your family members.
