When Is The Right Time To Date After Divorce?

You’ve accepted the fact that the marriage is over, you’ve signed the dotted line to finalize everything. Now, you’re wondering when it would be the right time to move on and start dating someone new. Maybe your ex has already moved on and you’re wondering if you should do the same. Maybe neither of you is dating someone new yet, but you think you just might be ready to start.

The short and sweet answer to this burning question would be, there really is no set or “right” amount of time to wait after a divorce to start dating again. Honestly, this is different for each and every person. Some may feel ready after only a couple of months, others after a year or more, others feel ready before the divorce is even finalized. You have to decide what is best for you. No one can answer that for you, however, there ARE a few ways to know if the time is truly right. 

1.) You have sorted through your feelings

You have sorted through your feelings and are sure that you want to re-enter the dating world because you’re ready and not because you have any ill intentions. Your intentions for dating should not be to make your ex jealous, to seek validation or because you are lonely and want someone to fill your time. Dating should be something you seek to have fun and find a love that is a blessing to you. No person or thing can complete you so you want to be sure that you are healthy and whole before bringing another person into your life.

2. You are sure that you are no longer holding on to your ex

Be honest with yourself in determining whether or not you are truly over your ex. Many of us have signed the final paperwork and have SAID we’re ready to move on while deep down we are still holding out hope that we will reconcile things with our ex.

3. You’re not doing it because someone else says you should

Maybe you’ve gotten to a place where you’re comfortable and happy alone. This is not “wrong” or “weird”, in fact, this is wonderful. Please do not allow friends, family, society, anyone make you feel as if they should be able to tell you when YOU should be ready to get back out there. You aren’t here to “keep up with the Joneses”, you are here to live your life and you only get one. Live your life on YOUR terms. 

4. You feel in your gut that it is time.

You know what feels right to and for you. Women’s intuition is a beast! All you have to do is pay attention to your intuition and you will know. No one will be able to tell you better than you when it’s time to move on, when it’s time to date again or anything for that matter. Learn to trust your own voice, your own intuition.

5. You aren’t doing it because of FOMO

I know you see all the cute couples on Instagram and Facebook with their cute pictures with the cute captions. You see pictures of couples out on dates and on vacations and giving each other nice gifts and you just want to experience the same. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it simply means that you are human. However, you have to know that what’s for you is and will always be for YOU. You will not miss any, that is not ONE thing will pass you by if it is truly meant for you. You don’t have to rush it, you don’t have to beg it, you don’t have to force it. Your time WILL come.

6. Considered how our children will react

If you are now a single mom, you will want to be sure you have considered your children and how they will react. They will be affected by the decisions you make so you, as always and in all things, want to be sure you are making good decisions for them. Now, let me be clear here in saying that I, in no way, shape or form want you to ever feel shame or allow anyone else’s opinion to make you feel wrong for wanting to date as a mom. I don’t care if your kids are under the age of five or are teenagers getting ready to head off to college. You are human and you not only deserve, but you NEED a life outside of your kids. So, please know that my suggestion to consider your children’s reactions simply means that you feel ready to introduce them to someone new should you think it appropriate. You want to be sure you feel this new person would be a good fit for your family when and if it gets to that point.

Overall, this process is all about you and what you feel comfortable with. If you want to date and feel it is the right time, go for it! If you want to date, but feel you may need a little more time, take your time! There is no right or wrong answer here! This is YOUR life and you want to live it to the fullest! Do you, boo! Enjoy your life and let no one make you feel bad for it!