If you missed part 1 go back and read it now 🙂
Remember Your Main Objective
The objective of parents is to be an example of well-adjusted adulthood and training your offspring to become just as good as or better than you.
Think of it this way. Would you want your children to become just like you?
Are you happy with the way you think and behave?
Do you want your kids to be happy or depressed?
Loving or hateful?
Courageous or fearful?
If you want your children to be positive and productive citizens of the earth then you must be that way or become that way. Children become what they see not what they hear. They watch what you do, not what you say 90% of the time.
You do not have to be perfect and get everything right but it is helpful if you are heading in that direction. This is why personal development is so important.
You cannot expect little Sally or little Johnny to be model citizens if you are a model failure (or perceive yourself to be). Your self-esteem has to be positive.
You must believe/know that you are a valuable person in the world. If you have low self-esteem and feel you have nothing to offer the world your children will believe the same thing about themselves.
If your objective is to raise well-adjusted children then become a well-adjusted adult.
When you are on a positive path you can begin training them through your actions and words to walk a positive path.
My vision for myself and kids was:
- I decided that I would raise my children in a very different manner than my parents raised me.
- I wanted them to be well prepared to go out into the world and live productive lives.
- I wanted them to have a realistic, yet hopeful view of life.
- I decided, while I was pregnant, that I would start a path of positive personal development.
- I would be what I wanted them to be. I didn’t get it right on the first try but I didn’t give up.
My objective has remained constant, so each time I think about my children and what I want for them I go back to the time I was carrying them.
I remember the vision I have in my heart for them.
I see them as mentally and emotionally healthy adults who have found satisfying work and relationships. I see them having a solid spiritual foundation and a heart full of love for they world.
Come back for part three where I discuss loving and leading as a parent to raise happy kids.
Read part 1 – If you missed part 1 go back and read it now 🙂
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
excellent excellent article, great point, so true, it made me cry! Thank you
This is a great article! I think a lot of parents don’t know how to be anything other than what they learned from their parents. It’s completely out of their comfort zone to let a child be who they want to be. We allow the pressures of life to consume us and forget to be positive. Not just for us but for them. If we show our kids our positive attitudes, they learn to be positive themselves. Thank you for reminding me in the value of positive thinking.
Maggie I’m glad you stopped by to check out the site and article. I am a positive thinking advocate and yes they certainly learn from us even when we are not actively teaching.