This is a guest article by Patricia Martin. It is the first in the Single Mom Voices series in celebration of Mother’s Day. The articles this week are written by single moms who are readers here at RichSingleMomma.com. Enjoy and please leave a comment!

I’ve been technically raising my boys alone for the last, almost nine years. I’ve raised a daughter and an older son too, but this piece is specifically pertaining to my two youngest boys. Having had two sets of children, I can honestly say, in my opinion, that they are truly two worlds apart.

It seems as though my eldest children kind of raised themselves as I was doing the nine to five back then and then some. They both climbed from one grade to the next and soon were independent individuals, now out on their own.

These last two are not as independent nor or they really trying to be. I mean, they’ve gained a few solid friendships in the neighborhood, and seem to have their own little lives, but somehow it seems as though time has stood still and I’m still telling them when to take a bath, asking them did they brush their teeth, and constantly telling them to clean their room when they already know the rules are to come home from school, do your homework, grab a snack, clean your room before you head outside.

Were the other two like this, I can hardly remember? But that wasn’t my topic of discussion when I first started typing this piece. I was going to elaborate on how I found it unbelievable that their father could plant his seed and hang around, although barely, while we were married, but then turn his back on them completely, for years on end, after we were separated. How could you not have a yearning to spend time with your children and help nurture and raise them from a male perspective? From a mother’s point of view I can’t imagine not being there for my children when they need me the most.

And right now, at this age, they need their father more than they ever needed him before. I found a condom in my boys’ room. Oh, I forgot to tell you all that my youngest are 12 and 10. I’ve held conversations with them in the past about their bodies, other people’s bodies, the whole nine. But I know they are missing out on some vital information that only a man can give them. Find an uncle, an older cousin you might be saying. Funny thing is, they don’t have even that.

I don’t know, I’m sure they will be fine, after all, my eldest son was only ten when my kids’ father departed. He’s twenty in a few days and has grown into an independent, self reliant partner to his girlfriend. I guess I did a pretty good job. And based on my track record with my two eldest, a son and a daughter, my two youngest will grow up into two fine men, despite the fact that I raised them alone, without the help of their father.

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Samantha Gregory

Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.

Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.

She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.