Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Divorce is tough. Dealing with the fallout of kids, housing, and money issues is even tougher. It is a high-stress and potentially confusing period. It’s enough to drive you insane, but now is not the time to fall apart. Here are six ways to get your money (and your mind) straight after divorce:
Establish a New Bank Account
If you were like most couples, you probably had a joint account, if not a separate account. You and your ex used the same bank, but now it’s time for a change of scenery. After the divorce, you are free to establish new relationships, see other people, and relish your freedom. Why is meeting a new banker and establishing a relationship with a new institution any different? A new banking relationship will give you a fresh outlook, fresh new faces, and hopefully a fresh new boost to your finances. Utilize any classes offered in your city as well as the financial counseling services offered.
Establish a “Me” Fund
In marriage, you probably focused all your attention on your spouse and/or your kids. After the divorce, you can begin focusing on yourself. Create a “me” fund to fuel your life with fun and pampering. At first it might feel strange to set money aside for yourself, but you will get used to it.
This is a challenge for me, so I’m listing it to remind me to do it for myself. What a difference a day makes when you can go out a buy something you want without feeling guilty. Establish a “me” fund and bask in the feeling of financial freedom!
File Bankruptcy
This feels scary, but it’s the advice a divorce attorney gave me when I explained how much debt my ex left in my lap. I resisted for three or four years before I finally did it. My resistance came from long-held beliefs that bankruptcy would ruin my financial life and be a black spot on my credit. The reality is, I was drowning in debt I didn’t create, and my credit was already in the toilet. Filing for bankruptcy would be relief and a way to unburden me from past financial potholes.
The process was moderately painless and took less than three months to complete. The discharge happened rather quickly because there was no objection from creditors. Now I am on my way to better financial health and have a clean financial slate to rebuild my life. You can do the same if applicable.
Request Monetary Gifts on Holidays
Do you really need another scarf or toaster for your birthday or Christmas? Wouldn’t you be better off with a nicely padded emergency fund? For some people, it feels weird answering the question, “What do you want for your birthday/Christmas?” This year, answer the question loudly and proudly by saying, “Money, honey!”
Let people know you are creating an emergency fund now that you are divorced, and they will probably be happy to help. Money in the bank for emergencies has a funny way of making you feel capable of handling anything that comes your way. That is worth stretching beyond your proprietary boundaries isn’t it?
Sell Old Jewelry, Clothes, Etc.
Did your darling ex give you a big ol’ hunkin’ diamond ring, a fabulous floor-length fur, or a leather coat? How about a cute lil’ sports car? All the jewelry, clothing, and other luxury items can be sold and used to pad your bank account. The proceeds can jumpstart your new life and put you financially in the black. Forget about nostalgia and start thinking about a new wardrobe, a retirement fund, or that trip around the world you’ve been dreaming of. Selling off valuables is a great way to clear your mind, reset your life’s purpose, and keep moving forward.
Create a Realistic Spending Plan
Now that you have followed the first five steps in this financial (and mental) makeover, it is time to create a realistic spending plan. You are a now a one-income household, and barring any child support you may be eligible/entitled to receive, you must begin living on one income. Your spending plan must include all your expenses, savings, and investments you anticipate.
Review your bank account for three to six months to see your spending trends. Connect your accounts to Mint.com or some other account tracking system to get a realistic idea of where your money is going. From that information, you can create your spending plan. I recommend that you don’t include child support or alimony in the plan unless you know it is guaranteed to be consistent. Otherwise, treat it as an occasional source of income. It may sound counter-intuitive to do this, but your spending plan should only be based on your earned income. This is part of getting your finances and your mind together. Planning for the predictable is the wisest move you can make and a sure path to peace of mind.
No matter how tough divorce is on your money and your mind, you can come out smelling like a rose. It takes time, planning, and perseverance to see the other side of this life-changing event. But you can do this! I believe in you.
Author Bio:
Samantha Gregory is a single mom, financial empowerment speaker, coach, and a published author. She is the editor of RichSingleMomma.com, a personal finance, parenting, and personal development blog for solo moms. She offers the Goodbye Broke Hello Prosperity free five-day e-course on her website.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
As much as it seems like I am content to be single I want you all to know it’s total BS!!! I don’t hate being single but I strongly dislike not being a part of a healthy coupled relationship. I’m not without options but the question is are they quality options? That’s what I’m holding out for and you should too. Read on to see the 10 Worst Things About Being a Single in a Couple’s World served with a cup of humor.
Being able to take up the whole bed, watch whatever you want on TV and being accountable to nobody are just a few of the great perks of being single. Unfortunately, for many singles, those things are not always enough. Here are the ten worst things about being single:
Weddings
All that love and happiness is only slightly counteracted by the free wine. Once you’ve attended your fifth wedding of the year, it’s hard to keep calm when people question you about your love life and tell you you’ll meet someone soon.
Life is just better when you have someone special around all the time, keeping you company at the cinema, giving you excuses to get out of boring events, and stopping you from buying really stupid outfits. There’s not much that can beat having someone you can be with whenever you like.
No relationship means fewer reasons to eat well. It’s hard to keep preparing meals for one when you could just as easily break out the chips and jumbo-sized chocolate bars.
Singletons usually end up as the odd ones out at parties and other events. When you’re in a relationship, you’ve got some back-up should you want a breather – but when you’re single, you either try and fit in or go home alone. Third wheel, anyone?
Even the most resilient singles have 3am freak-outs where they worry they’ll never find love again. These freak-outs can also happen at parties, festive seasons or other people’s weddings (see above). To combat this, using sites such as eHarmony who match people based on their shared values and beliefs can help.
It’s only so long that you can convince your friends that you’re absolutely fine with being alone and you really don’t want to meet anyone. Ever. Really. It’s fine.
Because of course that’s why you haven’t found love – you’re much too choosy. If only you’d married Johnny Depp/Scarlett Johanssen while you had the chance, eh?
When you’re single, you really don’t want to be reminded of how happy and in love other people are at all times, particularly not first thing in the morning or when you’ve had a grueling day at work.
Spend enough time around couples and you start feeling like you’ve got ‘single’ stamped on your forehead whenever you go out anywhere. This is especially awkward when your friends start trying to set you up with every eligible person they meet.
Because there’s nothing worse than having an entire day dedicated to reminding you of how single you are (not to mention all the “maybe next year” comments from your coupled friends).
This article was brought to you by eHarmony Canada who are experts in matching singles with suitable dates using their unique patented Compatibility Matching System.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
One of the best things you can do as a solo mom is get out and have fun. I don’t mean the clubbing, get down and dirty drunk, kind of fun but clean fun that energizes you. There is a big difference.
I had that kind of fun this weekend at a Masquerade Ball sponsored by my church’s social committee. It was not the standard stale and boring banquet you see in typical churches. Nope it was a party with a band, costumes, and lots of dancing!
My life is blessed because it is filled with supportive people from my church as well as family. I can be me and feel 100% accepted. Isn’t that what we all want deep down?
If you can find a place or group of people like that then you have an awesome head start. It kills the isolation that is very present in the single mom life. It also puts a dent in your depression.
I used to think I couldn’t go to parties if I didn’t have a date so I wouldn’t go. Not any more. I go because I want the fellowship and fun. So far I’ve had no regrets, plus I get to meet and dance with all the single guys there.
Here are a few pictures from the event. While you are looking through them why not find a party or other social event to attend. You really need it.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
I had the pleasure of chatting with Rachel DeAlto, the Flirting Expert via Skype. She shared her tips on dealing with a bad date, how to get great dates, and more about her FlipMe cards and new book coming out in October.
I broke the videos up so you can see each segment in bite-sized pieces. We have a great time talking about single motherhood, flirting, and being your best self. So sit back and enjoy.
Here’s how to contact Rachel and get your own FlipMe Cards
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Last night i watched an episode of Single Ladies. It’s one of my guilty pleasures. The show has added a single mom to the mix which i think is a clever move and makes things interesting.
The single mom rarely dates but she is at an event with her new friends and notices a man noticing her. She’s giving him the look smiling and sending all the signals that tells him to come over and say something. He never does and her girlfriends tell her it’s because there are too many women sitting there to make it safe to approach.
They give her pointers and she heads over to the area where he is standing. She uses more body language that looks more like yoga in a chair to entice him to speak but it does not invite a positive response or at least not what she wants to hear. Exasperated she asks him out to dinner because she is running out of time (she has to get home to her daughter) so she scribbles her name and number on a napkin and tells him to call her. I think it was a desperate move and would set her up for a challenging if not failed relationship.
I was skeptical that he would call but apparently he did because the next scene with her was them on a date. They laughed and talked, and then the check came. He gave some lame reason/excuse about usually being old fashioned and always paying but he was going to be nice and let her pay, and then slid the check over to her. She laughed it off after the shocked look then reached for her purse and paid. Later he asked her if she wanted to spend more time together while he moved in closer. She declined saying she had an early day coming. He persisted with asking again and kissed her. He was coming on strong and was basically trying to seduce her with the kiss.
I’ll stop right here and ask you if she should have asked him out in the first place? Would you have done that?
Should she have paid the bill? Would you have paid?
Should she have let him kiss her after she paid for the meal? Would you have let him kiss you? Do you kiss on the first date?
Do you carry “mad” or extra money just in case your date pull a stunt like this guy did? Do you expect the guy to pay every time?
I’d really like to hear your comments. Let’s have a discussion about who pays for dates and why you feel the way you do. This is all about finances because dates aren’t always free.
I’ll share my thoughts in part two but only if i get at least 10 comments on this article.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
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Last night i watched an episode of 
