[Vote] Which Super Hero Would You Date as a Single Mom?

[Vote] Which Super Hero Would You Date as a Single Mom?

by | Jun 26, 2014

 

Have you ever thought about which super hero would be the perfect date and eventual mate?

They are handsome, strong, and mysterious, but they also have their flaws.

So which one would you date and would consider for a mate and possible father figure for your kids?

Vote below:

 

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

Sex, the Church, and the Single Mom

Sex, the Church, and the Single Mom

by | Feb 14, 2014

sex and the single momToday is Valentine’s Day. The day of love, flowers, pink and red decorations, and couples. If you are truly a single mom you are not a part of a couple but are probably alone. You may be happy as a lark or miserable as a fish out of water. I don’t have any tips this year about how to get through the day but I do have something to say about what usually happens on Valentine’s night. Sex. Yep, sex. And it’s not going to be a comfortable topic. But I hope by the end of this conversation you have a better understanding about this day, your heart, and the way you will walk in the future.

The following are 6 counter-intuitive (yet practical) guidelines to get clear and get on with your life happily and whole.

Recently a single mom told me she was saved and joined a denomination a few months ago. Her dilemma is that she battles the desire to have sex but this religion frowns on sex outside of marriage. I felt compelled to answer the question because I’ve faced the same issues and all the confusion, shame, and frustration around it. Here is how I answered her:

The Battle Against Sex
This issue/challenge is one that many people, not just single moms face. I think the issue you face is not so much the sex part but the “Battle” part. Anything you resist will persist. It will stay at the front of your mind. In this case it is sex. I’m familiar with your church and know that they likely put a lot of emphasis on this subject. I am going to go against the grain and tell you to surrender to the idea of sex. It is a natural part of life. It is better in a healthy relationship and it is good because God made it. Accept this and you will find it easier to manage.

Winning Through Surrender to Sex
I dare say that you should give yourself permission to have sex. What I mean is you tell yourself that you can have sex but you choose not to because you want to be in a healthy relationship. You have become powerful over the temptation because you know you can do it if you want to but you want something better. When you feel powerful you don’t have to resist, then it doesn’t fill your thoughts, and you can go on with your life.

Getting Real About What You Really Want
When you feel the urge you just think about what you really want. Is it the physical act or is it intimacy and closeness with a person? Is it that you want to feel validated by a man or is it you want to share tender moments with someone who loves and cares about you just as much as you love and care about them?

How Religion Ruins God’s Gift
Many religions say it’s wrong to have sex outside of marriage but they don’t explain why. It’s not so much wrong as it is unhealthy and will cause other problems. Women bond though sex and when that bond is broken the emotional hell begins. We do crazy things, we act out, we hurt ourselves and others. God designed it for marriage to keep women safe because he knows our hearts because he made us.

Reclaiming the Gift and Finding the Truth
You are powerful. God made you this way and you have the power to decide if sex right now is good for you. You have to think about the kind of future you want. You have to look inside your heart and examine the purpose and pain behind wanting to have sex.

I encourage you to choose love. Choose to love yourself enough to wait for the right man and a healthy relationship. Choose to trust your heart. Give yourself permission to do whatever you want, then choose to wait because it is what is best for your heart.

The Thing That’s 10x’s Better Than Sex
Religion has it’s place but the relationship with God is 10 times better. He only wants your good and will not force you to do anything or make you feel guilty if you make a mistake. He restores you and fills you with His love, mercy, and grace. Believe that, walk in it, and you will be okay.

I hope this helps. I speak from experience because I was where you are. I struggled with it too, but I released it through giving myself permission and accepting my power. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

NoMoreCrumbsBkCoverSmIf you are not sure about how to go forward in life I think I can help. If you are tired of getting involved with guys who mistreat you, disrespect you, or don’t seem to have a chivalrous bone in their bodies, it’s time to change things in your life. It’s time to learn how to attract men who are available to give you the time, attention, affection, and generosity you deserve. I outline the steps to better romantic relationships in my book, No More Crumbs: How to Stop Dating and Mating for Crumbs and Get the Cake You Deserve in 10 Crucial Steps. Order your copy today on Amazon.com and become a relationship genius in 30 days!

Turn on your radar! How to detect men who don’t like kids

Turn on your radar! How to detect men who don’t like kids

by | Feb 11, 2013

Sponsored Post

Whether you’re looking to meet the right guy to start a family with, or you’re a single mom with little ones of her own, finding eligible guys who want the same things can be a challenge.

If you know in your heart that you want children, finding ‘the one’ means being able to read the signs as to whether or not the men you’re dating feel the same way. This can be tricky – after all, talking about kids and marriage on a first date is often considered a no-no.

But there are some ways to read a guy before you get too involved, to try and establish whether or not he’s on the same page. Here are some tell-tale signs he’s not into the idea.

He thinks the world is a terrible place

Some guys think that the world is full of bad people and inherent evil, and that bringing a child into it is a selfish thing to do. Guys like these often had terrible childhoods and are frightened of inflicting that pain onto someone else.

 

6988492182_40cd74f5a4_z

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdsmith1021/6988492182/

He’s selfish 

Then there are guys who are so wrapped up in themselves that they can’t imagine finding the time to raise kids. They’re too busy working long hours, going to the gym, and drinking with their buddies. They don’t want anything to tear them away from that!

He’s still a boy at heart 

This kind of guy could never have kids because he’s too busy being a child himself. Maybe he still lives with his parents, spends his days playing video games or can’t cook anything without burning it. This is a sign that he may not be ready to bring kids into the world: there’s not enough room for the both of them.

 

 

E3 2006 Playstation 3 game

He’s already got them

 Sometimes you’ll meet a man who’s already a great dad – to someone else’s children. In some cases, he’ll be happy enough with the kids he already has and won’t be interested in starting a new family. This can be tough, as he’ll already have preconceived ideas of what it means to have kids, and may be burned by his own divorce or separation.

Ultimately, if finding a guy who wants to have kids – or who’ll help you raise your own – is a priority, then you’ll find that person. Have a look at a dating website, such as eHarmony.ca, where you can narrow your search to include people who want to make kids a priority.

If you’re interested in Catholic dating, or just looking for singles who want kids in your local area, there’s sure to be someone out there who sees eye-to-eye with you on the big issues. Continue to be patient and know that the right person is out there – you’re just going to have to look for him.