You’ve accepted the fact that the marriage is over, you’ve signed the dotted line to finalize everything. Now, you’re wondering when it would be the right time to move on and start dating someone new. Maybe your ex has already moved on and you’re wondering if you should do the same. Maybe neither of you is dating someone new yet, but you think you just might be ready to start.
The short and sweet answer to this burning question would be, there really is no set or “right” amount of time to wait after a divorce to start dating again. Honestly, this is different for each and every person. Some may feel ready after only a couple of months, others after a year or more, others feel ready before the divorce is even finalized. You have to decide what is best for you. No one can answer that for you, however, there ARE a few ways to know if the time is truly right.
1.) You have sorted through your feelings
You have sorted through your feelings and are sure that you want to re-enter the dating world because you’re ready and not because you have any ill intentions. Your intentions for dating should not be to make your ex jealous, to seek validation or because you are lonely and want someone to fill your time. Dating should be something you seek to have fun and find a love that is a blessing to you. No person or thing can complete you so you want to be sure that you are healthy and whole before bringing another person into your life.
2. You are sure that you are no longer holding on to your ex
Be honest with yourself in determining whether or not you are truly over your ex. Many of us have signed the final paperwork and have SAID we’re ready to move on while deep down we are still holding out hope that we will reconcile things with our ex.
3. You’re not doing it because someone else says you should
Maybe you’ve gotten to a place where you’re comfortable and happy alone. This is not “wrong” or “weird”, in fact, this is wonderful. Please do not allow friends, family, society, anyone make you feel as if they should be able to tell you when YOU should be ready to get back out there. You aren’t here to “keep up with the Joneses”, you are here to live your life and you only get one. Live your life on YOUR terms.
4. You feel in your gut that it is time.
You know what feels right to and for you. Women’s intuition is a beast! All you have to do is pay attention to your intuition and you will know. No one will be able to tell you better than you when it’s time to move on, when it’s time to date again or anything for that matter. Learn to trust your own voice, your own intuition.
5. You aren’t doing it because of FOMO
I know you see all the cute couples on Instagram and Facebook with their cute pictures with the cute captions. You see pictures of couples out on dates and on vacations and giving each other nice gifts and you just want to experience the same. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it simply means that you are human. However, you have to know that what’s for you is and will always be for YOU. You will not miss any, that is not ONE thing will pass you by if it is truly meant for you. You don’t have to rush it, you don’t have to beg it, you don’t have to force it. Your time WILL come.
6. Considered how our children will react
If you are now a single mom, you will want to be sure you have considered your children and how they will react. They will be affected by the decisions you make so you, as always and in all things, want to be sure you are making good decisions for them. Now, let me be clear here in saying that I, in no way, shape or form want you to ever feel shame or allow anyone else’s opinion to make you feel wrong for wanting to date as a mom. I don’t care if your kids are under the age of five or are teenagers getting ready to head off to college. You are human and you not only deserve, but you NEED a life outside of your kids. So, please know that my suggestion to consider your children’s reactions simply means that you feel ready to introduce them to someone new should you think it appropriate. You want to be sure you feel this new person would be a good fit for your family when and if it gets to that point.
Overall, this process is all about you and what you feel comfortable with. If you want to date and feel it is the right time, go for it! If you want to date, but feel you may need a little more time, take your time! There is no right or wrong answer here! This is YOUR life and you want to live it to the fullest! Do you, boo! Enjoy your life and let no one make you feel bad for it!
Shakina is a relationship and sexuality coach as well as a blogger, and motivational speaker. She is a single mom of two and resides in Jackson, Mississippi with her two handsome boys. She’s passionate about helping women recognize their greatness in life, love, and between the sheets.
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As a parent, one of the most important decisions you can make for your child is which daycare, if any, to send them to.
Selecting the right facility is so crucial for the safety and growth of young kids. But how do you know which one is right for your child and in line with the values of your family? Should the current climate of the globe have an impact on whether or not you choose daycare at all? Check out these things to consider when deciding on a daycare for your child.
Is it important to you that they have continuous care and socialization?
A huge benefit of sending your child to daycare is knowing that they’ll have constant support, and they’ll begin socializing with other kids at a young age. These early years of growth are pivotal in child development, so it’s a good idea to get them around other little ones from a young age.
What does the daycare feel like when you walk in?
This is simple and straightforward, and it has a lot to do with your initial instinct or gut reaction to the facility. While it may not be brand new, consider whether or not it’s clean, well maintained, and up to date. Is the atmosphere happy and positive, or does it feel dirty and dingy? Does the space have fun decorations, new and well-organized toys, and comfortable flooring? Getting a general feel for the daycare before making your decisions is incredibly important.
Spend time researching the safety of the area.
Not only is it important that the daycare is in a safe part of time, but the facility itself should be secure. Leaving your children in the care of other people—strangers in many cases—is difficult to do, particularly when your kids are so little. Knowing that they’re in good hands is crucial.
Consider the cost.
Daycares do cost much less than a private nanny, but it can still be pricey. If you are able to stay home during the day or you have a relative you can reach out to for support, you may want to consider your financial situation. Will it be worth it for you to dish out the cost of daycare if you do have other options?
Understand the possibility of exposure to illness.
It’s clear that being around a lot of kids on a regular basis can lead to your little one getting sick more often. However, early exposure to germs can actually strengthen your child’s immune system so much that they’ll have fewer colds and infections further down the road. With that being said, during the current pandemic, it’s important to first reach out to your pediatrician before making any final decisions. They will know what’s happening on a local level, which can pertain directly to you and your young child. Make sure you’re comfortable with the precautions your daycare is taking. Know that if something does happen—whether sickness or injury—it’s important to reach out for help as soon as possible.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Being a parent isn’t easy and is filled with stressful moments. No matter how busy you are between work and family, always make time for yourself. Even just 15 to 20 minutes a day to get quiet and relax can do wonders for your stress level, mental and physical health. Not only will you feel better, you’ll also be better at the things you take on and more aligned in your relationships.
Focus on overall wellness:
The importance of exercise, eating right and taking care of yourself can’t be said enough, especially for parents who lead busy lives. All of these things have a direct impact on your stress. If you eat right, get plenty of physical activity and just take better care of yourself, your mind and body will thank you. Best of all, you can instill these important values in your kids as they grow up.
Don’t let things fester:
When problems arise, and they will, take them on quickly and effectively. The problem when we procrastinate and put things off is small issues turn into big issues and this drives our stress levels off the charts. Even if you don’t feel like dealing with something, it’s always better to face it and get it over with rather than keep putting it off and allowing it to bother you and raise your stress. For parents, that might mean planning out specific tasks that have to get done each day. Monday might be laundry day. Tuesday could be food prep day. Wednesday cleaning day. And so on.
Focus on proper breathing:
The problem with incorrect breathing is it can make you feel even more stressed and worried than you already are. Improper breathing raises CO2 in the body while reducing oxygen consumption which makes us tired, dizzy and anxious. The correct way to breathe is slowly in through the stomach area, hold for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale through the lips. It might take some practice to get used to, but this is definitely something that will significantly reduce your stress.
Get out of the house:
Right now, many parents are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed during the COVID pandemic because they can’t leave the house. It’s still important to get out each and every day. You can go for a walk, drive around with no destination in mind while you crank up the tunes, visit a friend or family member while practicing social distancing. A change of environment is important to reduce stress.
Get the kids involved:
Many parents are stressed out right now with kids home for summer with nothing to do. Keep your kids busy with educational activities like reading, give them an allowance for taking on chores around the house, and make sure they have enough time play time each day outdoors. Happy and healthy kids will make your life much easier and reduce your levels of stress.
Have something to look forward to:
Having something in the future to move toward and look forward to is important to all of us, especially parents who find themselves stressed. Maybe it’s a vacation or road trip six months from now. You can even have something small to look forward to each day like a television show or family dinner. This puts us in a better frame of mind, reduces stress and keeps the “feel-good” chemicals pumping in the brain.
Get involved in activities that are inspiring to you:
It doesn’t matter what it is, just get involved in any activity that inspires you. When you are feeling inspired and into what you are doing, it’s hard to feel stress. Not only that, but when you are doing something you truly enjoy, your mind is occupied and won’t have time to entertain worry, anxiety and stress.
Focus on the outcomes, not the struggles:
In almost everything we set out to accomplish, there is stress along the way. This is true even of positive forces in our lives. Instead of becoming stressed by the struggles, stay focused on the outcome. For instance, it’s easy to get flustered when trying to explain a math assignment to your kids. But remember how great it feels when it finally clicks for them and the sense of achievement it gives both you and them.
Recognize when you need help:
Every parent deals with a certain amount of stress and that is perfectly normal. But sometimes our stress becomes something bigger indicative of an anxiety disorder or something else. When you’ve tried to face things on your own and you aren’t feeling better, it’s time to get professional help. Parents with an insurmountable of stress are doing themselves and their families a favor by getting help.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
If you have a baby on the way, congratulations! That’s wonderful news. At the same time, you may have a few concerns about your budget. After all, you’re now responsible for supporting at least one new life.
Few would argue that giving birth is inexpensive. However, you can get your budget under control by simultaneously cutting back in some areas while boosting your income. Here’s how.
Tips for Saving Money
Ah, the lure of those adorable baby outfits and that to-die-for nursery gear. You might feel tempted to break out the credit card, but before you do, remember! Most baby items see limited use.
Do you genuinely need a designer outfit your kiddo will wear once, spit up all over, then outgrow?
1. Shop in Your Closet
Chances are, you have a few items that you can wear even in your third trimester, like maxi dresses. Plus, if you find yourself now working from home, you don’t need as extensive of a maternity wardrobe.
Your baby will throw up all over their shirts, and that’s not all. Why let them defile a $40 set of duds? Plus, they outgrow clothing faster than you can buy them.
If you have a family member or friend with a few hand-me-downs to spare, take advantage.
3. Refinance
Depending on your circumstances, now may be the ideal time to refinance your mortgage. If you wait until you go on maternity leave to apply, your income will likely decrease.
Additionally, your lender might have questions about your future ability to make payments. If you have a partner who also works, you will probably have a more streamlined time winning approval.
4. Click Unsubscribe
Like it or not, you live in a subscription economy, and many people have recurring charges for items they no longer use. One fellow found he paid $40 a month for in-flight WiFi for eight months while he was safely grounded. That amount would pay a monthly utility bill in some areas.
Download an app like Truebill and enter your information. Do you need a subscription to the Tai Chi Move-of-the-Month club any longer, or can you go without to save money?
5. “Upcycle” Your Produce
Things could be worse — the current pandemic could have struck in the dead of winter. Now, however, you don’t have long to wait until planting time. If you live in the south, you could enjoy peak season already.
Learn how to save the seeds from your produce and start seedlings indoors. When they grow large enough, replant them in your garden. This way, your family will always enjoy a supply of fresh vegetables, even when the grocery budget gets tight.
Tips for Increasing Your Income
In addition to cutting your budget, you can increase your income, even during tumultuous times. Here are some ideas.
1. Become a Virtual Assistant
Scores of companies need virtual assistants for handing everything from customer calls to emails. You might manage social media posts or help with bookkeeping tasks.
Sites such as Fiverr allow you to offer your services for sale to the highest bidders.
2. Sell Crafts on Etsy
Are you a crafty mama-to-be? If you have knitted more adorable baby booties than your child could wear by the time they turn 21, why not sell the excess on Etsy?
You can set the price for your wares, and once you establish yourself as a seller, you can do well. You can also search your home for any high-value items like electronics you don’t need or use, and see if you could possibly pawn them for a little extra cash.
3. Teach or Tutor Online
In case you missed it, many schools have shuttered for the rest of the year, and the demand for online teachers is high. If you have a certificate, you can work for a virtual school.
However, even if you lack a credential, you can tutor if you have a bachelor’s degree.
4. Start a YouTube Channel
Do you have a skill you can share? One grandmother recently gained significant stardom when she started a YouTube cooking channel to pass down her recipes.
If you can do yoga, knit like a fiend or make a tutorial on how to build a better birdhouse, you could earn residual income through advertising revenue.
Get Your Budget Under Control Before Baby Arrives
Once your baby arrives, you will have plenty to occupy your mind. In the meantime, get your budget in order so that you feel secure in your family’s finances.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
I got a question recently asking how can I save money when I don’t make much money? Today I want to share with you 4 No-Brainer Ways to Save Money (Even if You Have a Low Income). It is important to save money for emergencies and to build wealth. We hear this all the time. The recommended amount to save is about $1,000 into your savings account for emergency funds for just things that come up that we have no control over. And I completely agree. There are plenty of books from Amazon you can read about the topic. I’m not always great at it, but I agree. And so I found some ways that are pretty easy for me to save money and I’m going to share them with you.
Throughout this post there are a few affiliate links involved. This helps support RichSingleMomma.com and I really appreciate your support and so I hope that you will click the link and actually use the tools that I’ll be sharing with you.
Digit Automatic Savings App
The first way is the Digit App. Now I love this app! This app helps you to save by withdrawing money from your account not a whole lot, because you could tell it how much to actually withdraw from your account. And it does it automatically for you daily. It could be small amounts of money. I currently have mine set to $5 a day. So that $5 a day will give me a pretty nice chunk at the end of the month. And the great thing about the app is you can set a goal and I think it’s really important to create a goal for your savings so you actually know where it’s going.
Emergency Fund is such a blanket statement but let’s say you want to have an emergency fund but you really want to go on vacation, you really want to buy a car, or you really want to put money in a down payment for a house. You can do this with a Digit and then you could tell it how much to actually withdraw from your account. So even if you’re not making a lot of money, you can still have $1 a day taken out, right? Everybody can do $1 a day, especially given the fact that we often eat out or get coffee, you get donuts or buy those little things from the $1 store. Just imagine if you put the money that you get by used to buy from the dollar store into your digital account, you’d be saving money.
So or you could challenge yourself and say, for every dollar I spend, I’ll save $1. Now, it may be limited to the Dollar Tree, or limited to a low cost thing. store that you actually use not maybe on groceries or rent or anything like that. Because again, this is money that we’re trying to save even if we’re not making an extremely large amount of money. So try the digit app. It is free in the app store and it’s in the Android Google Play Store.
Automatic Savings Transfer
The next thing I want to share is the Automatic Transfer Savings method. So what is an automatic transfer? If you tell your bank to automatically transfer money from your checking to your savings every month, it’ll do it for you. You don’t even have to think about it, you just set it up. You can even create it as an automatic bill pay.
If you have a separate bank account, which I always recommend, I say never keep all your eggs in one basket. I’m kind of like a multi bank account junkie. I have bank accounts in several places. And that’s because I don’t like keeping all my eggs in one basket. Go ahead and set up an automatic transfer to a separate savings account so that every payday or every month or however you want it to be you can have that money placed into your savings account.
If you open up a separate savings account, you can do that online. And there are several banks, and I’ll have them listed in the show notes, where you can actually open up a separate savings account that’s online. I use Capital One which is one bank you can use online. There’s Ally Bank, there’s several other ones as well. So choose a bank and then schedule a transfer of a certain amount from each paycheck to that account. So you don’t even have to think about it as just an automatic payment to yourself. Okay, so that’s how we want to think about savings, you’re actually paying yourself.
Acorns Investment Savings Account
Next is Acorns which is kind of different, because it is not putting money into a savings account, but it’s actually putting money into an investment account. And the investment account is really for making money out of the money that you’ve placed in there. So what Acorns does is round up your purchases and put it into the investment account. Now the investment account is set up in Acorns.
You have to download the app or go on the website, you have to decide your investments. So you can invest in a lot of different companies. And that’s basically what investing is, is investing in stocks in a certain company. So you actually own a part of that company. And when they make money, you make money. Simple of course, it feels complicated, especially if you listen to all the other financial gurus on MSNBC or CNBC or wherever. But it is a simple idea. I would like for you to start investing now even if it’s just $1 a month, $5 a month, that investment will grow.
Do you want your money to grow? And that contributes to savings for you. So if Acorn again, when you go to the store, and let’s say your amount is $25.67 cents, well, the Acorn rounded up that change that was not spent 220 $7 to make $27, it’ll round that up and put that change into the investment account for you. Oh, that makes sense for you, but that’s what happens. So that’s a pretty good way to actually start investing on a small scale. And it makes a big difference in the long run, because that money can be used later on for your child’s college. If they decide to go to college, it could be used for down payment on a car. It could be used for several different things.
Self Lender Credit Building Savings Account
The final thing I want to share with you is Self Lender. This is a different type of savings as well. It is not like the Acorns app but, it is a type of savings account that automatically withdraws $25 or more into a separate CD. A CD is a Certificate of Deposit for a bank. The money is saved into the account for you. The great thing about it is you get that money back in 24 to 48 months depending on the amount that you’ve allotted to be withdrawn from your account each month. You’re actually saving for one or two years. So if you have if you’re putting in $25 a month, you get that money back in two years. Just think about the amount of money that has accumulated for you. You could get a lump sum check, which can then go into your own savings within your bank account because you got into the habit of saving money. Let’s say you have a goal to put a down payment on a car or you want to move into a better home, you have that money ready for you. Even if you want a Christmas savings account, this would be a great option because of the savings you put into the Self Lender account you could have enough money for an amazing Christmas savings account. The perk of this is each payment is reported to the credit bureaus, which raises your credit score. This is so you have a two-fold purpose. First of all, you’re saving money.
Second of all it is being reported to the credit bureau so your credit score goes up. You’re in a win-win situation so I don’t want to hear the excuse that you don’t have enough money to save. Actually you do because I just gave you four tools that you can use to save money for the thing that you need in your life. It’s possible to save with discipline, consistency, and developing an out of sight out of mind attitude about savings. I think an automatic savings program is the best way to go. If you ever have heard of David Bach, he has this book called, The Automatic Millionaire. He pretty much goes through some similar ideas about how to save automatically so that you can begin to fund your retirement. You can fund anything in your life, if you just set it and forget it. I hope these ways to save have helped you. They are no-brainer ways to save money even if you have a low income. And for those of you who have a moderate to high income is even better, you can save even more.
Send in your questions to the Single Mom Answers program. I love answering questions. It’s like one of my favorite things to do. And I will answer your questions and I hope that you will continue to listen to us, subscribe to the podcast channel, and that you will keep those questions coming.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Single mothers have to learn a variety of important lessons in order to achieve financial freedom, and you can make life easier on your children by helping them develop good habits from a young age. Kids who are introduced to personal finance early generally find it easier to manage their own money later in life.
This article will cover some of the most critical financial lessons you can teach your child. Make an effort to have regular conversations about money so that they understand the impact a healthy financial mindset will have on their life.
Credit Card Debt Is Bad
Consumer debt has been essentially normalized in the United States, and many people don’t see a problem with credit cards, student loans, or other forms of credit. While going into debt is sometimes the best choice, it’s important for people of all ages to understand the risks involved.
Credit cards, for example, typically come with interest rates of up to or even over 20 percent. Paying back a large credit card debt can be extremely difficult since the balance will continue to accumulate interest over time. It’s generally much better to avoid debt in the first place than to try to pay it back later.
Tip: Start an Emergency Fund
We often feel like debts are unavoidable in unpredictable circumstances, but you can prepare for these situations by contributing to an emergency fund. Your child should understand the importance of consistently saving money and having some cash to fall back on in a worst-case scenario.
Without an emergency fund, people can be forced into debt to pay for unexpected costs. While you can help your child by starting a savings account for them, it’s much more important for them to develop the habit of saving on their own and taking a more proactive approach to personal finance.
Consider Early Retirement
You probably don’t spend much time thinking about your child’s retirement, but it’s never too early to start considering their financial future. Putting off saving for retirement is one of the most common mistakes in personal finance, and it’s difficult to make up for lost time if you don’t start making contributions from a young age.
In contrast, putting extra money away for retirement is a great habit that will help your child reach his or her long-term financial goals. Twenty, for example, might seem too early to begin saving for retirement, but even just a few hundred dollars each year will make a significant difference over time.
Tip: Set up a Roth IRA
Most people assume that 18 is the youngest age at which people can contribute to an Individual Retirement Account, or IRA, but there’s actually no minimum age associated with these accounts. People of all ages can make and contribute to an IRA as long as they have at least some earned income.
While standard IRAs allow you to make contributions with pre-tax income, the money you put in a Roth IRA is not tax-deductible. On the other hand, contributions grow tax-free and aren’t subject to taxation when withdrawn during retirement.
Roth IRAs come with relatively low contribution limits—$6,000 in 2019 and 2020, for example—so you miss out on the tax advantages whenever you fail to make the maximum contribution. In contrast to some other retirement accounts, Roth IRA funds can be withdrawn at any time with no penalty.
In addition to the tax benefits associated with Roth IRAs, the money you contribute will typically grow much more quickly than in a conventional or high-yield savings account. Investment accounts carry more risk than accounts with fixed rates, but short-term fluctuations are generally outweighed by growth over time—especially when investing for a long-term goal like retirement.
The Importance of Budgeting
Many people avoid thinking about their finances because they’re worried about what they’ll find, and financial anxiety is one of the biggest obstacles toward developing a better money mindset. Simply reviewing your statements and understanding where your money is going is arguably the most important step in improving your approach to personal finance.
Without a clear budget, it’s easy to lose track of how you spend your money and end up consistently falling short of your personal and financial goals. You won’t even know what kinds of spending to cut back on if you’re interested in saving more money.
Tip: Start Budgeting Early
Rather than shifting to a budget later on, your children should understand the importance of a budget from a younger age. That way, they won’t have to adjust their financial habits to start working toward long-term financial goals like college and retirement.
Getting started with budgeting can be complicated, but there are more resources than ever before to help novices learn more about creating a budget. While there’s nothing wrong with budgeting in a notebook, your child may adjust more quickly using a website or mobile app.
Most kids aren’t as excited to save as they are to spend, but you should teach good habits by putting some of their allowance away. It’s important for children to see saving as a financial priority rather than something to do with any money that’s left over—people who think of saving as optional often have more trouble sticking to their targets.
Everyone has their own experience with personal finance, but you can get your children off to a good start by teaching them about money from a young age. These are just a few of the most important topics to cover as your child begins to learn more about personal finance.
Samantha A. Gregory is an author, consultant, and speaker. She’s a single-mom lifestyle, money, and parenting expert featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, HuffPost, ABC News, and Mint.com.
Samantha founded the award-winning RichSingleMomma.com™, the first online magazine featuring personal finance, parenting, and personal development content and courses for single moms.
She aims to inspire women who are ready to thrive and not just survive in their single motherhood journey. Connect with her on Instagram @richsinglemomma.
Hi! Welcome to RichSingleMomma.com. I started this website almost a decade ago because I couldn't find any blogs back then that helped single moms with money. I was having some success in that area so I decided to share what I knew about side hustles, making extra money, and managing money. Read more...
